I think i need to admit that i have definitely let this blog suffer.
I now see that the last time i posted was in FEBRUARY.
Here we are mid-June... man has the time flown by!
I suppose we will consider this post an overview :)
So, what has happened since February... seems so long ago!
Well, we celebrated Easter with a few different activities.
We attended a different church for a Good Friday service
as our home church did not have one.
There was no Sunday School in place for that Friday,
so i knew the kids would have to sit through the service
which typically is an hour long.
Marshall has done pretty good with sitting quietly during
church before, and he did wonderfully in this new
environment as well!
Something neat that Marshall did during the service
that the people around us saw, and all had "awww"
moments, was when Marshall drew on his magnet board
the image on the screen which was that of the hill and
three crosses. Most people were focused on the song lyrics
and didn't even realize that there was a picture in the background.
Marshall is definitely an artist and he is developing in his
drawing skills daily. I will have to post some of his
drawings one of these days :)
This simple drawing during the Easter service warmed my heart.
A few minutes later, he called me to look at his
new drawing which was similar, but he had added a car
next to the crosses driving up the hill! lol.
Nothing wrong with thinking modern day, right?! haha.
Last year, Marshall took to Easter and the concept of looking for eggs
and candy, and again this year, he loved filling his basket
and hunting around the yard with his siblings, and again with
his cousins at my parents' place.
It was beautiful that Easter long weekend and we
had lots of activities and outings, including a trip
to a local greenhouse which was a new place for Marshall.
He is sooo awesome at listening to us now,
it really is a joy to take him anywhere :)
He even picked out his own flower which he tends to daily.
It was beautiful that Easter long weekend and we
had lots of activities and outings, including a trip
to a local greenhouse which was a new place for Marshall.
He is sooo awesome at listening to us now,
it really is a joy to take him anywhere :)
He even picked out his own flower which he tends to daily.
*******************************
A few months back, i decided to gather together some of the mom's
that i've become friends with through Autism, to
have a playdate in my backyard.
We have gotten together a few times already and everyone
has really enjoyed having a non-judgemental, safe place
for the kids to play and for the moms to visit!
I am a homebody, so when we moved here we
started to create a playground backyard so i'd never have to leave. lol.
It's served us well!!
I am a homebody, so when we moved here we
started to create a playground backyard so i'd never have to leave. lol.
It's served us well!!
There are 4 ASD moms and 9 kids in total.
It's somewhat chaotic, but the kids all get along really well!
Due to my small house, these playdates are weather permitting,
and unfortunitely, the 'Juneuary' we have been experiencing
has not helped in our desire for more frequent gatherings.
I'm looking forward to summer showing up and more good times
with this great group of moms who are there as a wonderful
support system to both me and my family.
It's been interesting to gather these 5 autistic kids together
and getting to know them outside of a school setting,
which is a very brief interaction.
The Autism Spectrum is SO big, and each child has their
own unique set of 'things' that put them on that spectrum.
It's been a growing experience learning more about
how autism affects each child, and each family, differently.
*******************************
Within the ASD playgroup, there are 2 birthday boys
whose birthdays are just 3 days apart... one of them being Marshall's
which was on May 6th! My little guy is 4 now!
I had been humming and hawing about whether
or not to do some kind of party for Marshall,
and ultimitely decided with the other birthday boy's mom, Becky,
that we would do a combined party for the boys with our new little group.
And that's exactly what we did!
It was the first real birthday party with friends that either of our boys
has had. The other boy, Ayden turned 6.
Becky and i bought chips and a fruit platter,
and made cupcakes that we put in the back of Marshall's TONKA truck
for a cake! The boys loved the cake. lol.
We just rolled out the truck infront of them, sang happy birthday,
and let them go to town on them. lol.
They ate them ALL in record speed!
(all 9 of them, not just the two boys. lol)
We also bought some wooden picture frames and some paint
and each kids made their own frame.
I took a bunch of pictures and will print them off to fill
the frames for each kid as a keepsake.
It was a fun afternoon!!
Marshall's actual birthday was on a Sunday and we
had a nice relaxing day. Went to church in the morning
where Marshall was overly excited with actually understanding that
today was his birthday! He was telling everybody and it was super adorable.
I took him to the dollar store and
I took him to the dollar store and
let him pick out a balloon, and we grabbed a small cake
from the grocery store and sat in the backyard
and enjoyed the sunshine :)
I cannot believe how far Marshall has come in one year.
It was just after his 3rd birthday that he was officially diagnosed.
SUCH a different child now.
God has blessed our family with Marshall and we have just loved
watching him grow and learn.
We can't imagine our life without him.
******************************
My Opa, my mom's dad, went into the hospital with pnemonia
at the beginning of May. He ended up having many other health
concerns that kept him in the hospital for a week and a half,
and he did pass away.
My Mom has always had a close relationship with my Opa,
and both my sister and I spent all of our spare time
sitting by my Opa's bedside with my Mom.
It was a hard last few days with Opa.
We know he is in heaven now with Oma and much of his family,
so we have peace in his passing.
As an extended family, we have about 4 gatherings per year,
so Marshall does know who Opa is.
As an extended family, we have about 4 gatherings per year,
so Marshall does know who Opa is.
I decided to try and take him to the hospital
to visit Opa when he was still responsive.
Marshall did great there.
Maybe it's his young age, but he didn't seem to mind
that Opa was in a bed and not looking quite himself.
We brought Opa a balloon when we went to visit on Marshall's birthday.
When Opa would doze off, M would yell out, "Papa! Look!"
at the sticker he had on his shirt. lol.
Marshall was calm, sitting on my lap nicely, and not running
down the halls. We went back a few times with the kids that week
and i am so thankful that because of Marshall's amazing behaviour,
he was able to connect with Opa a little bit more
right until the end.
Opa passed away, and then the funeral took place a week later.
That whole week, i didn't know what to do with Marshall for the day of the funeral.
The last family funeral was my Oma's and Marshall was growing inside
of me for that one :)
The last family funeral was my Oma's and Marshall was growing inside
of me for that one :)
Should i bring him for the whole day?
Should i send him to school so he misses the cemetary part
and then pick him up for the church part?
I wanted to be involved in the celebration of Opa's life as much as possible,
alongside my cousins. We had chosen 2 songs to sing,
and i felt like i needed to share some words.
Is Marshall going to let me sing/play?
Is he going to make me hold him?... then i can't play piano.
Will he keep yelling even if i pick him up while i'm singing?
If i bring him to the graveside, will he cry and yell while everyone is
trying to mourn?
Eeeek.
Then my sister had the idea of releasing balloons at the graveside,
Then my sister had the idea of releasing balloons at the graveside,
which was a great idea that all the great grandkids would take part in...
but that includes Marshall.
We were ok with him not letting go of his balloon,
but would he scream and cry and jump crazily
while the other balloons floated into the clouds?
That would not be so great.
Ok. So now you know how my brain gets stressed
out... the 'what if's' are torturous!! lol.
Well, after talking it over with family and with eachother,
we ended up just deciding we would bring Marshall
we ended up just deciding we would bring Marshall
for the whole day.
I would try to be as involved as possible, and we would
pray that Marshall wouldn't hinder any of that.
Surprisingly, Marshall did awesome the whole day.
We went to the church first for the viewing,
which we spent practicing in the gym,
and which Marshall let me do while he colored at the table with
his sisters and with Daddy.
At the graveside, Marshall made me carry him for the
minister part which wasn't long, and then
he took his balloon and released it happily
along with all of the other kids.
He even sweetly said, "(bal)loon up in a clouds in a (s)ky"
as a lot of people were quietly watching the
rainbow of balloons rise up into the air.
It melted my heart.
I did not expect this kinda of cooperation from Marshall at that moment.
What a blessing.
Back at the church for the celebration portion,
Marshall again did awesome!
He sat at the kids table and he ate and he colored
and he allowed for me to be involved
with only quiet whispers of my name when he realized
i wasn't at my table :)
No yelling, no crying.
I was able to read what i had written and he let me do it
without any fuss at all...
again, such a blessing.
Thank you Lord for taking Marshall into your hands
on this day in order to allow for me to grieve and have the time
that i needed with my family.
****************************
There have been some other things Marshall has
succeeded in recently such as attending a Fun Fair
at his cousins school.
They had many bouncy castles, a favourite for Marshall Man,
and he waited in line pretty good each and every time...
and some of the lines were 10 minutes long!
Daddy got a new job so he is home just before dinner
now which has been AWESOME.
Normally, he'd only get home around 7:30pm,
just in time to say goodnight to the kids.
We are doing some renos on our house,
and Marshall has become completely involved
in "help Daddy!!!" each and every time
Daddy walks through the door and heads to the front yard.
Daddy has stated that he really loves it as Marshall
is actually a wonderful helper and has been really following
each instruction well.
I am thrilled to have another thing, a special thing for just Marshall
and Daddy to do that they both enjoy, and that
can be used as a teaching time too!
******************************
Our church was doing a VBS curriculum during our sunday school time
over a 2 month period. There was a lot of things that
were switched up and changed from the normal
routine and we had some concerns about Marshall's
adjusting to them.
Well, the very first time, i came along to help him through
it, but he became so dependent on me, he hardly
participated and just wanted me to carry him
the whole time.
No good.
The following Sunday, i dropped him off as per normal,
and then they had another Mom who took over for me...
and of course, Marshall did amazing and participated in everything.
Turkey!!
All of these weeks led up to a finale Sunday morning service
that the kids were going to put on.
Well, Marshall chose to not go up on the stage that day.
I was ok with it.
He did go up midway through with the bundle of balloons he stole
and sat back and observed the story telling time.
That was pretty cute.
Marshall did speak his one line into the microphone...
but not without yelling "mine!" when my sis handed it to him
and he grabbed it, and then fighting a bit to give it back. lol.
Big sister D did amazing on the stage and i have to
say, made this mama very proud.
*******************
I decided, it was a risk of course, to cancel Marshall's
autism school for the afternoon to allow him
to come along on a kindergarten fieldtrip with
his sister and i to a dairy farm.
It was a good decision :)
Marshall did great!
Didn't have any meltdowns or draw any unwanted
attention to himself.
He followed orders and listened,
and he even took his turn at milking a cow!!! cool.
He did the hay ride really well and
listened to my instructions to hold on to me the whole time.
At the end of the day i was connecting with
another mom and we got on the topic of
special needs and i saw her looking confused by my
comment, and i said the ol' "you know Marshall has Autism right?"
She had no idea.
Now, she really only spent a few hours with us on this
fieldtrip, but it still made me feel good to know
that all of Marshall's hard work is paying off.
And let me also say,
that there is NOTHING wrong with being or looking different.
And it will never be my goal to have Marshall be like
everybody else. But it IS my goal to have Marshall
be happy, loved, and accepted
by everyone he comes into contact with.
It truely made my heart smile to see a little girl in Marshall's
preschool, a girl who has taken a liking to M from the beginning of the year,
give Marshall a card on the last day of preschool that said,
"Thank you Marshall for being my friend."
My friend.
Not a forced sibling or cousin friend, a true friend.
Love that.
********************************
You know, when i first started writing this blog, it was
about taking note of the good, the bad, and the ugly.
The journey.
Marshall has had sooo much continuous progress
and is constantly impressing us,
this blog has been feeling like a brag book lately.
I suppose that is a good thing, right?! lol.
I know many other parents out there who have not seen
their special needs children achieve so quickly the things
that Marshall has accomplished.
My prayer is that those reading this can find hope in
Marshall's journey, and be able to see success in
their own childs progress, regardless of the pace it's going.
I am thankful for Marshall's determination and independence.
Kinda random here,
but i wanted to mention that with the Autism Funding we have,
we purchased an iPad for Marshall last month!
Once i get more of a program going for him,
i'll post in more detail on all of this the future.
*******************************
Here's a story of 'the bad', if you will.
At Marshall's preschool they have tubs served as mailboxes.
Each day the students check the mailbox and will find
the craft or coloring they worked on earlier that day or recently.
For some reason, Marshall never took to the concept of these
mailboxes. Perhaps it is because we had other stresses in fall
such as his shoes and jacket getting put on afterwards,
that we were consumed with 'things to do' already.
Only after Christmas, when Marshall had mastered getting ready
after school was over, did he discover the absolute joy
in running to his mailbox to see what 'treasure' lay inside!!
Seriously though, it's quite an exciting ordeal for him. lol.
So, eagerly checking the mail
became part of the routine, a part that he loved.
Then one day, there was nothing in the mailbox.
Oh. my. word.
And the meltdown that followed, my friends,
is where you see Autism in my son.... and honestly,
i don't see it in him often, so when these things happen,
they are hard for this Mama to observe.
The craft that they had made earlier was with paint
and was not yet dry enough to take home.
Logical. And easy to explain to a typical 3.5 year old.
Not so easy for Marshall.
The thing that made it so hard, and what brought me to tears as i
watched my son pace the halls and run back and forth
in search of something that he wanted,
but he didn't know what it was or where it was,
and he was so frantic and you could see his little mind
being overwhelmed by the whole thing,
what made it so hard was that...
i couldn't reach him.
I'm his mother, and i couldn't reach him.
He would come over to me for comfort for 10 seconds
and i would hold him and rub his back and tell
him it was ok... and then he would get back up and run to
his teachers screaming through tears,
jumping up and down,
running back to his mailbox to check again.
Man, that was a hard morning.
It was so unexpected,
and as i said, reminds me that my son is different.
I wasn't prepared emotionally,
and i could do nothing but cry.
I know i am human and weakness is allowed,
so i am ok with my tiny breakdown now.
At the time though, it was hard to swallow the
fact that i was lost in this situation.
The teachers didn't know what to do,
and besides doing what i was already doing,
i didn't know what to do either.
Eventually Marshall let me take him in my arms and
carry him out to the car crying, both of us.
M was actually taken aback when he saw the tears pouring down my face.
Much concern grew in his face and he stopped crying to watch
me and rub my tears away.
In the saddness of that moment,
i remember feeling happy that he appeared to be showing
empathy of some sort :)
After emailing with Marshall's wonderful and supportive
teacher, it was decided that we would all make
sure that before Marshall is dismissed from class,
that there is something in his mailbox for him to take home.
We will tackle this issue in fall, since this all happened
so near to the end of this school year.
Teaching him that sometimes there is no mail
and that that is ok.
And I am ok with that.
*************************
One last item i wanted to touch on was Marshall's daily
therapy and intervention that he has at NSAP.
Marshall really loves going to this school
which for those of you who have forgotten,
is 2 hours, 5 days a week, and is run through
the Fraser Valley Child Developmental Centre
and held at Terry Fox school here in Abbotsford.
There are 2 classrooms, one for work and one for play.
There are 4 students in each class and each one has
their own Behavioural Interventionist.
Marshall has been attending this school since August of last year
and has just come leaps and bounds since then.
I'm tempted to re-read his diagnosis details again.
I'm sure to find myself smiling at all of the things that were
once a struggle for him, that he has overcome through intervention,
and also just in growing up!
The words EARLY INTERVENTION and AUTISM
truely do go hand in hand.
I am so thankful that i asked the right questions at the right
time which essentially got the ball rolling towards a diagnosis.
I sure didn't want to ask them.
It's easy to tell yourself that nothing is wrong with your child.
That they have a few delays but nothing 'label worthy'.
That they're just 'quirky'.
That they will get there eventually.
In general, i am that laid back kind of parent.
Always thinking that things will work out
and that God's got everything under control.
And He does, but i know that
He gave me a heart and a brain and He allows
opportunity for me to make my own decisions
for both me, and for my kids.
Ok, ok. I'm totally going off into my own little avenues!!
Basically what i want to say is that an autism diagnosis
is a blessing as it allows the funding to really allow
for your child to succeed :)
The earlier it's detected, the more funding you recieve.
I am open to talking to anyone on a personal level
so please feel free to contact me,
we need to stick together in our struggles!!!
Back to the topic :)
Next Step Autism Program.
When we first signed Marshall up, it really just felt like the easy thing to do.
Of course, there were many perks to being in this
type of a program, and i'd only heard good things,
but there are many different routes to take, and of course as a parent,
you are never sure if the one you are choosing is the right one.
Well, we signed Marshall up thinking, get him into something now,
and we'll see where that takes us and if it fits Marshall and his needs.
I can say in truth that this program has been amazing for
Marshall. God has had a plan for him there all along.
The BI's that M works with daily are all
amazing people who truely do care and who love what they do,
and it shows.
Marshall has always had strengths in his gross and fine-motor skills.
We were actually surprised when he was diagnosed
that they put him half a year behind his age.
When we first started NSAP,
Marshall's OT reports appeared to have things that
legitimately needed working on, so i was in
support of it. Each month Marshall would work on and master
the new tasks set out. In the past few months though,
the OT reports were getting smaller and smaller,
and the 'issues' that were presented to me
were actually non-issues in my personal opinion.
The OT is great, and she is just doing her job.
I just felt like she had nothing to say because frankly,
Marshall rocks the OT world. lol.
I had another parent whose sons have been in NSAP approach
me and tell me that i should consider pulling M out
because she has found that there are holes in this program.
I actually sat down with Janel, 'the boss', and told her
that i was told this and waited for her reply.
I actually liked her answer;
"Of course! We're not perfect. There are strengths
and there are weaknesses to running a program in a classroom
setting. I believe that hiring out can work well for any child,
but they will lose the social atmosphere that is taught here alongside
everything else."
I totally agree.
Danny and I discussed pulling Marshall from this program
for a while there. It is obvious that one of his greatest
weaknesses, although it's coming along daily, is his speech.
We really wanted speech to be monitered more regulary
and thought the only way to do that would be to pull him.
Well, i decided to ask Janel about this.
I asked her if it would be an option to cancel M seeing the OT
for now, and to double up is SP sessions instead.
I actually didn't think she would say yes.
I figured that i knew what i signed up for...
once a month M sees 3 different qualified therapists who write
up a report that the BI's follow.
Her response surprised me when she stated that she would
need to get approval from the SP and her higher up,
or something along those lines,
but that we could try to do as i requested.
And a month later, all the paperwork is in place to have
Marshall seeing the SP twice a month!!
I am soo excited.
And the SP, Laura, is amazing.
Super detailed and really easy to talk to, and you just know
she knows her stuff.
Her reports for Marshall are always lengthy and in such
great detail as to instruct the rest of the team how
to specifically teach Marshall.
I have spoken with Laura since this all was approved and am so
happy that she is in full aggreement that i double up
Marshall's speech.
I, as a parent, felt it was the right thing to do,
but really hadn't gotten any comments either way in my decision.
It's not that i needed it, but it was still nice to hear
and obviously built up my confidence in my decision making for my son.
I'm learning what it means to be an advocate for my son,
and i am thankful that God paved the way for it to be easy the first time! lol.
There are so many stone-cold ASD mothers out there
just looking for a fight... like they think no matter
what anyone does or says they don't have their kids' best interest in mind.
I am not one of those parents,
and i pray that i never become one of them.
I have so much confidence in Marshall staying at NS,
and i love that i know it's where he's supposed to be right now.
Marshall will carry on with NS through the summer,
and i also have him enrolled in a VBS (vacation bible school)
program for a week in July where a trained aide has stepped forward and volunteered
to assist M for the week!
Looking forward to a relaxing summer with the loves of my life!
Hope you enjoy yours too.
I'll try not to stay away for so long next time.
**************************************
So, that's all.
Just a nice short read ;) lol.
Life is good when your cup is half full...
or as my Mom likes to say,
"My cup runneth over".
And with Faith. Hope. Love. and Autism,
how can it not? :)
We went to the church first for the viewing,
which we spent practicing in the gym,
and which Marshall let me do while he colored at the table with
his sisters and with Daddy.
At the graveside, Marshall made me carry him for the
minister part which wasn't long, and then
he took his balloon and released it happily
along with all of the other kids.
He even sweetly said, "(bal)loon up in a clouds in a (s)ky"
as a lot of people were quietly watching the
rainbow of balloons rise up into the air.
It melted my heart.
I did not expect this kinda of cooperation from Marshall at that moment.
What a blessing.
Back at the church for the celebration portion,
Marshall again did awesome!
He sat at the kids table and he ate and he colored
and he allowed for me to be involved
with only quiet whispers of my name when he realized
i wasn't at my table :)
No yelling, no crying.
I was able to read what i had written and he let me do it
without any fuss at all...
again, such a blessing.
Thank you Lord for taking Marshall into your hands
on this day in order to allow for me to grieve and have the time
that i needed with my family.
****************************
There have been some other things Marshall has
succeeded in recently such as attending a Fun Fair
at his cousins school.
They had many bouncy castles, a favourite for Marshall Man,
and he waited in line pretty good each and every time...
and some of the lines were 10 minutes long!
Daddy got a new job so he is home just before dinner
now which has been AWESOME.
Normally, he'd only get home around 7:30pm,
just in time to say goodnight to the kids.
We are doing some renos on our house,
and Marshall has become completely involved
in "help Daddy!!!" each and every time
Daddy walks through the door and heads to the front yard.
Daddy has stated that he really loves it as Marshall
is actually a wonderful helper and has been really following
each instruction well.
I am thrilled to have another thing, a special thing for just Marshall
and Daddy to do that they both enjoy, and that
can be used as a teaching time too!
******************************
Our church was doing a VBS curriculum during our sunday school time
over a 2 month period. There was a lot of things that
were switched up and changed from the normal
routine and we had some concerns about Marshall's
adjusting to them.
Well, the very first time, i came along to help him through
it, but he became so dependent on me, he hardly
participated and just wanted me to carry him
the whole time.
No good.
The following Sunday, i dropped him off as per normal,
and then they had another Mom who took over for me...
and of course, Marshall did amazing and participated in everything.
Turkey!!
All of these weeks led up to a finale Sunday morning service
that the kids were going to put on.
Well, Marshall chose to not go up on the stage that day.
I was ok with it.
He did go up midway through with the bundle of balloons he stole
and sat back and observed the story telling time.
That was pretty cute.
Marshall did speak his one line into the microphone...
but not without yelling "mine!" when my sis handed it to him
and he grabbed it, and then fighting a bit to give it back. lol.
Big sister D did amazing on the stage and i have to
say, made this mama very proud.
*******************
I decided, it was a risk of course, to cancel Marshall's
autism school for the afternoon to allow him
to come along on a kindergarten fieldtrip with
his sister and i to a dairy farm.
It was a good decision :)
Marshall did great!
Didn't have any meltdowns or draw any unwanted
attention to himself.
He followed orders and listened,
and he even took his turn at milking a cow!!! cool.
He did the hay ride really well and
listened to my instructions to hold on to me the whole time.
At the end of the day i was connecting with
another mom and we got on the topic of
special needs and i saw her looking confused by my
comment, and i said the ol' "you know Marshall has Autism right?"
She had no idea.
Now, she really only spent a few hours with us on this
fieldtrip, but it still made me feel good to know
that all of Marshall's hard work is paying off.
And let me also say,
that there is NOTHING wrong with being or looking different.
And it will never be my goal to have Marshall be like
everybody else. But it IS my goal to have Marshall
be happy, loved, and accepted
by everyone he comes into contact with.
It truely made my heart smile to see a little girl in Marshall's
preschool, a girl who has taken a liking to M from the beginning of the year,
give Marshall a card on the last day of preschool that said,
"Thank you Marshall for being my friend."
My friend.
Not a forced sibling or cousin friend, a true friend.
Love that.
********************************
You know, when i first started writing this blog, it was
about taking note of the good, the bad, and the ugly.
The journey.
Marshall has had sooo much continuous progress
and is constantly impressing us,
this blog has been feeling like a brag book lately.
I suppose that is a good thing, right?! lol.
I know many other parents out there who have not seen
their special needs children achieve so quickly the things
that Marshall has accomplished.
My prayer is that those reading this can find hope in
Marshall's journey, and be able to see success in
their own childs progress, regardless of the pace it's going.
I am thankful for Marshall's determination and independence.
Kinda random here,
but i wanted to mention that with the Autism Funding we have,
we purchased an iPad for Marshall last month!
Once i get more of a program going for him,
i'll post in more detail on all of this the future.
*******************************
Here's a story of 'the bad', if you will.
At Marshall's preschool they have tubs served as mailboxes.
Each day the students check the mailbox and will find
the craft or coloring they worked on earlier that day or recently.
For some reason, Marshall never took to the concept of these
mailboxes. Perhaps it is because we had other stresses in fall
such as his shoes and jacket getting put on afterwards,
that we were consumed with 'things to do' already.
Only after Christmas, when Marshall had mastered getting ready
after school was over, did he discover the absolute joy
in running to his mailbox to see what 'treasure' lay inside!!
Seriously though, it's quite an exciting ordeal for him. lol.
So, eagerly checking the mail
became part of the routine, a part that he loved.
Then one day, there was nothing in the mailbox.
Oh. my. word.
And the meltdown that followed, my friends,
is where you see Autism in my son.... and honestly,
i don't see it in him often, so when these things happen,
they are hard for this Mama to observe.
The craft that they had made earlier was with paint
and was not yet dry enough to take home.
Logical. And easy to explain to a typical 3.5 year old.
Not so easy for Marshall.
The thing that made it so hard, and what brought me to tears as i
watched my son pace the halls and run back and forth
in search of something that he wanted,
but he didn't know what it was or where it was,
and he was so frantic and you could see his little mind
being overwhelmed by the whole thing,
what made it so hard was that...
i couldn't reach him.
I'm his mother, and i couldn't reach him.
He would come over to me for comfort for 10 seconds
and i would hold him and rub his back and tell
him it was ok... and then he would get back up and run to
his teachers screaming through tears,
jumping up and down,
running back to his mailbox to check again.
Man, that was a hard morning.
It was so unexpected,
and as i said, reminds me that my son is different.
I wasn't prepared emotionally,
and i could do nothing but cry.
I know i am human and weakness is allowed,
so i am ok with my tiny breakdown now.
At the time though, it was hard to swallow the
fact that i was lost in this situation.
The teachers didn't know what to do,
and besides doing what i was already doing,
i didn't know what to do either.
Eventually Marshall let me take him in my arms and
carry him out to the car crying, both of us.
M was actually taken aback when he saw the tears pouring down my face.
Much concern grew in his face and he stopped crying to watch
me and rub my tears away.
In the saddness of that moment,
i remember feeling happy that he appeared to be showing
empathy of some sort :)
After emailing with Marshall's wonderful and supportive
teacher, it was decided that we would all make
sure that before Marshall is dismissed from class,
that there is something in his mailbox for him to take home.
We will tackle this issue in fall, since this all happened
so near to the end of this school year.
Teaching him that sometimes there is no mail
and that that is ok.
And I am ok with that.
*************************
One last item i wanted to touch on was Marshall's daily
therapy and intervention that he has at NSAP.
Marshall really loves going to this school
which for those of you who have forgotten,
is 2 hours, 5 days a week, and is run through
the Fraser Valley Child Developmental Centre
and held at Terry Fox school here in Abbotsford.
There are 2 classrooms, one for work and one for play.
There are 4 students in each class and each one has
their own Behavioural Interventionist.
Marshall has been attending this school since August of last year
and has just come leaps and bounds since then.
I'm tempted to re-read his diagnosis details again.
I'm sure to find myself smiling at all of the things that were
once a struggle for him, that he has overcome through intervention,
and also just in growing up!
The words EARLY INTERVENTION and AUTISM
truely do go hand in hand.
I am so thankful that i asked the right questions at the right
time which essentially got the ball rolling towards a diagnosis.
I sure didn't want to ask them.
It's easy to tell yourself that nothing is wrong with your child.
That they have a few delays but nothing 'label worthy'.
That they're just 'quirky'.
That they will get there eventually.
In general, i am that laid back kind of parent.
Always thinking that things will work out
and that God's got everything under control.
And He does, but i know that
He gave me a heart and a brain and He allows
opportunity for me to make my own decisions
for both me, and for my kids.
Ok, ok. I'm totally going off into my own little avenues!!
Basically what i want to say is that an autism diagnosis
is a blessing as it allows the funding to really allow
for your child to succeed :)
The earlier it's detected, the more funding you recieve.
I am open to talking to anyone on a personal level
so please feel free to contact me,
we need to stick together in our struggles!!!
Back to the topic :)
Next Step Autism Program.
When we first signed Marshall up, it really just felt like the easy thing to do.
Of course, there were many perks to being in this
type of a program, and i'd only heard good things,
but there are many different routes to take, and of course as a parent,
you are never sure if the one you are choosing is the right one.
Well, we signed Marshall up thinking, get him into something now,
and we'll see where that takes us and if it fits Marshall and his needs.
I can say in truth that this program has been amazing for
Marshall. God has had a plan for him there all along.
The BI's that M works with daily are all
amazing people who truely do care and who love what they do,
and it shows.
Marshall has always had strengths in his gross and fine-motor skills.
We were actually surprised when he was diagnosed
that they put him half a year behind his age.
When we first started NSAP,
Marshall's OT reports appeared to have things that
legitimately needed working on, so i was in
support of it. Each month Marshall would work on and master
the new tasks set out. In the past few months though,
the OT reports were getting smaller and smaller,
and the 'issues' that were presented to me
were actually non-issues in my personal opinion.
The OT is great, and she is just doing her job.
I just felt like she had nothing to say because frankly,
Marshall rocks the OT world. lol.
I had another parent whose sons have been in NSAP approach
me and tell me that i should consider pulling M out
because she has found that there are holes in this program.
I actually sat down with Janel, 'the boss', and told her
that i was told this and waited for her reply.
I actually liked her answer;
"Of course! We're not perfect. There are strengths
and there are weaknesses to running a program in a classroom
setting. I believe that hiring out can work well for any child,
but they will lose the social atmosphere that is taught here alongside
everything else."
I totally agree.
Danny and I discussed pulling Marshall from this program
for a while there. It is obvious that one of his greatest
weaknesses, although it's coming along daily, is his speech.
We really wanted speech to be monitered more regulary
and thought the only way to do that would be to pull him.
Well, i decided to ask Janel about this.
I asked her if it would be an option to cancel M seeing the OT
for now, and to double up is SP sessions instead.
I actually didn't think she would say yes.
I figured that i knew what i signed up for...
once a month M sees 3 different qualified therapists who write
up a report that the BI's follow.
Her response surprised me when she stated that she would
need to get approval from the SP and her higher up,
or something along those lines,
but that we could try to do as i requested.
And a month later, all the paperwork is in place to have
Marshall seeing the SP twice a month!!
I am soo excited.
And the SP, Laura, is amazing.
Super detailed and really easy to talk to, and you just know
she knows her stuff.
Her reports for Marshall are always lengthy and in such
great detail as to instruct the rest of the team how
to specifically teach Marshall.
I have spoken with Laura since this all was approved and am so
happy that she is in full aggreement that i double up
Marshall's speech.
I, as a parent, felt it was the right thing to do,
but really hadn't gotten any comments either way in my decision.
It's not that i needed it, but it was still nice to hear
and obviously built up my confidence in my decision making for my son.
I'm learning what it means to be an advocate for my son,
and i am thankful that God paved the way for it to be easy the first time! lol.
There are so many stone-cold ASD mothers out there
just looking for a fight... like they think no matter
what anyone does or says they don't have their kids' best interest in mind.
I am not one of those parents,
and i pray that i never become one of them.
I have so much confidence in Marshall staying at NS,
and i love that i know it's where he's supposed to be right now.
Marshall will carry on with NS through the summer,
and i also have him enrolled in a VBS (vacation bible school)
program for a week in July where a trained aide has stepped forward and volunteered
to assist M for the week!
Looking forward to a relaxing summer with the loves of my life!
Hope you enjoy yours too.
I'll try not to stay away for so long next time.
**************************************
So, that's all.
Just a nice short read ;) lol.
Life is good when your cup is half full...
or as my Mom likes to say,
"My cup runneth over".
And with Faith. Hope. Love. and Autism,
how can it not? :)
