Christmas Concerts

Marshall had three performances over Christmas that he was to take part in.  The first one would be at his preschool Christmas party on December 19th, the last Wednesday before the end of school.  The second was on the last day of school, the 21st, and was a full performance in the gym for the entire school and parents present.  Friday morning was a Christmas Chapel that was put on by the grade one classes mainly, which included M's sister, so Daddy took the day off work and the grandparents were informed to come out!

Naturally there was a lot of practicing going on at preschool in the weeks prior to the party and the performance.  Marshall was talking at home a lot about it, singing some of the songs, and seemed really excited about it!  Well, i knew better than to get my hopes up of the fabulous performance my son was going to give during the actual event. lol.  If he stands in line with the children, i will be happy, he doesn't even have to sing!.... oh wait, actually, even if he sits quietly with me the whole time i would be happy.  lol.  Just please don't cry or have a fit over nothing!!  So, we hoped for success and expected much less, naturally ;)

Miss Mary did a wonderful job of putting together a social story for me to take home to read to Marshall the week prior to the party.  If you don't know, a Social Story is a small laminated book with simple sentences and pictures, that is set up to better prepare your child, or to teach them something they can't quite grasp.  Marshall has only been given one before (that i know of) and that was based around him using the potty, instead of his diaper, to relieve himself.  This story that he recieved now said things like, I will sing loud and do the actions, My Mom will come and she will be so happy!  If i don't know what to do i should look at my teacher.  Marshall was totally into the story, reading it several times with me and speaking about it by heart.  He was excited and we were counting down the days to his party, until it was Tuesday night and we could say, "The party is tomorrow!!"  That was a very exciting night.

Then we woke up Wednesday morning, Party Day, and there was snow on the ground.  School was cancelled for the day.  Hmmm... oh goody.  After i broke the news to Marshall that the party would now be on Friday and he would have to wait, he said, "OK Mom!" and ran off to play.... NOT.  My little boy was in tears.  "Party (to)a-day, Mommy, party (to)a-day."  *sigh.  All of the work we put in to prep him for this big day, and seemingly he was in the right mind set to allow for me to come and see him sing for me and do crafts with me... all out the window.  Some timing our God has!!  Well, Marshall did get over this change in plans as the morning progressed, and didn't stay too upset about it after the initial blow.  His teachers had sent an email saying that they were grateful to at least have Friday left to move the party too, but that it would be after the Chapel and would make for a busy morning.

When Daddy phoned home that morning i told him that the kids had no school and that the party was moved to Friday now.  He said, "Oh good!  Then i can come!".  Oh yeah, i hadn't put it together yet that Danny took Friday off to see the kids in the chapel performance.  I wondered what Marshall would have to say about this change, so i excitedly told him, "Marshall, Daddy gets to come to the party now!!"  He smiled at first, then paused to think, then started saying, "No Daddy a party, no!"  Then he ran to get his social story in which he showed me that there was no photo of Daddy, just Mommy.  lol.  Great.. social story backfire!  haha.  I decided to leave the topic alone for the rest of the day.  The next day though, i brought it up again cause ideally it would be nice if Daddy could come, and also if Marshall was excited about having him there.  Well, Marshall didn't budge, and Danny knew he might just have to wait outside the door or something in order for M to have success at the party.  We pick our battles and this was not one of them!

Friday morning Marshall man woke up and before i even said anything he says, "Ok a Daddy a come a party."  Really?  "Yes!", he confirmed.  He told me he was going to be happy and smile and let me take his picture and video :)  OK!!!  So we got all dressed up and got to school nice and early.  I wasn't sure how to explain to Marshall that he'd be going to the gym first to sing, so i kinda just left him in the hands of his teachers and aide.  Well, how did Marshall do??  AWESOME.  The whole morning, awesome!  Daddy and I along with both Grandma's sat in the gym.  Marshall walked in with his class to the front of the stage, stood and sat as requested, sang and did the actions to the songs!!!  I even came up to the front and he saw me with my camera, but didn't call out to me, just sat in his spot with the rest of his friends... looking like every other kid there :)  Then when it was over, he walked back to his classroom for the party.  He sat for story time, brought us the gifts he had made, ate snack at the appropriate time without whining, and made a variety of crafts with Daddy and I.  What a wonderful morning!!!  Devyn did amazing as an angel in the recreation of the Christmas story on stage as well.  Success all around!

Both Marshall and Devyn are in the same kids program at our church.  Marshall was designated the role of a shepherd, and Devyn an angel.  Up until the day before the performance, M was adament that he was going to be an angel like his sister.  lol.  Thankfully, he accepted the role of shepherd eventually... although i would've let him be an angel if it came to that.  So, they have been practicing for this program which included some songs as well as a Nativity Story and recreation, for the past month or so.  The first day, Marshall came home with his line he had to memorize.  Hmmm... really?  I was a bit surprised that the lady running the program would ask a line of Marshall, i mean, come on, aren't we just hopeful that he will even set foot on the stage?  But, we practiced the line at home along with his sister, and he knew it with a little help. During the short rehersal on stage the week before, Marshall seemed to be going along with it, but a bit lost and in his own world.  He had just endured an hour and half of church/sunday school already, so i think he was just done.  He wasn't misbehaving or anything, just choosing to sit next to one of his teachers rather than manover around the stage.  Well, he's not screaming "Go away" or "I don't want to".  There is hope!

The morning of the live performance was Sunday, December 23rd.  They had a whole hour scheduled to practice prior to the real deal.  I was quite concerned as to the length of time beforehand and figured M probably would be great for the practice, and be done by the time the performance came around.  So, on the way to church in the car already, we were talking to Marshall a bit about what this morning would look like.  He has been dealing with a cold and been extra whiny the past while because of it.  He started to tell us "no!" and "stop talking" and such things, even starting to tear up over it, so we dropped it.  Then we got to church and he asked to bring in his magnetic coloring board.  The kids each have a little board that they color on while driving.  If we are asking them to sit through a whole church service, or at a doctors appointment or something, i will allow for them to bring them along for entertainment.  Often M or Devyn will ask and i will say no, because it is not necessary, and they are ok with that... even Marshall.  Because this morning entailed Marshall dressing up, holding bells, a candle and a shepherds staff, i told him that the board needed to stay in the car.  He started whining and getting teary over it, but i just repeated myself.  The rest of us were outside of the car waiting for him as he seemingly was now just finishing up the picture he was drawing, and then he would come along with us... or so i thought.  Daddy told Devyn and I to go ahead and that he would come with Marshall.  As i was walking away i said something along the lines of, don't get him crying, this is one of those times where we might have to cave on what we said for the bigger picture.  What i was really trying to say was, don't get M all worked up over this dumb board.  If he starts really crying, there is no hope of him cooperating for his teachers.  Let him bring the darn board if it means keeping the peace.  I'm sure Danny got all that from my mumbled sentence ;)

Devyn and I walk into the Sunday School room and all the little kids are getting into costume.  People are smiling, the kids are cheerful, there is much energy in the room, all in anticipation of the morning.  After a few minutes of getting Devyn into her costume, i hear it.  It's Marshall.  Crying... no, screaming.  And then he is infront of me, capturing the attention of everyone in the room, jumping up and down with tears rolling down his face, yelling and crying about wanting the coloring board.  He was extremely upset.  Daddy trailed into the room behind him.  AHHHHHHHH!  I might have had thoughts about strangling my husband at that point.  I picked up my son and walked out of the room and into the hallway.  Danny then explained to me... one, that he didn't understand that what i had said was to just give him the board.  And two, that he had tried to negotiate the board with Marshall and told him that I had said no, but that they could come inside and ask me again if he really wanted it.  Jeepers.  I can't get mad at Danny, he really does try. Ok, so i shooed Danny off to go and get the board and i sat with Marshall in my lap trying to calm him down.  By the time Danny got back, Marshall was over the board (of course, my stubborn child just wanted his way at that moment). 

I had Marshall in the room with the other children and was trying to get him to dress up a little.  Well, Marshall wasn't down with that.  There was no way he was wearing a towel on his head... so his orange touque remained :)  At this point, there was no pushing a costume on him.  The kids started to head down toward the stage to practice, but Marshall was refusing to follow along.  So.... we bribed him with a cookie.  lol.  And also put a sucker in his pocket that he could enjoy after it was over.  I wasn't sure he would do it, but he totally did.  Gobbled his cookie and ran down with the other kids, sucker hidden in his pocket :)  And then i sat down and watched my son totally participate!  Singing and doing actions, even saying his line into the microphone!!  He was listening to all instructions from his teachers and manovering around the stage appropriately.  I decided i was not taking the chance that he was going to do this later on for the real concert, so i was video taping the whole time.  lol.  Practice was a complete success!  Then the kids came back to their room for a little snack and drink, while all of the people filed into the church.  Marshall ran around the halls a little, but i figured it best he get out some of his energy before he had to get back on the stage, plus, he deserved to be a little 'free' after the great practice.

It was finally time to head to the stage.  There is a long flight of stairs the kids have to walk down to get there where they are visible to everyone.  The children were all given battery operated candles to hold while walking down.  At the last second, Marshall threw his into his touque and started walking down the stairs.  His head was totally glowing!!  lol.  I thought it was hilarious, and exactly the type of thing that shouts Marshall.  Once he got on stage and the teacher noticed, she took it out and Marshall held it happily.  Then, to my surprise, as well as to the surprise of all of those present who know Marshall, he totally performed beautifully.  The whole thing.  Said his line nice and clear and into the microphone, and then shared the mic with the friend next to him (unlike last year when he robbed a little girl of her solo! oops).  Of course, we were so proud of our little guy up there on the stage.  During the song, 'Go Tell it on the Mountain', Marshall belted out the chorus quite loudly, lol, the kids near him all turned to stare at him but he didn't care!  It was adorable.  Our church family was all smiling and laughing a little, and of course, i was crying, just overjoyed once again at how far my son has come.  And of course, beaming from ear to ear at how well both my little angel and touque wearing shepherd did that fine morning... our sweet little children of God. 

After such a rough start in the day, look at how it turned out!!  You just cannot ever lose hope.  Based on the screaming and crying that morning, i had very low expectations of the mornings success.  But we stayed positive, were on our toes with new ideas and slight adjustments in 'the plan'.  The plan.  LOL... truely a laughable concept in Marshall's world most of the time!!  But that's ok... we get there.  We see the light at the end...the bigger picture, and often there is success :)  And in success comes great reward... for both Marshall and for us as his parents.  We are so thankful for the way God continually blesses our little family.

Merry Christmas to you and yours!! 

Marshall's World at Home- Part 2

 

From time to time i enjoy going back through Marshall's blog and re-reading some of my posts.  I do this to remember how hard things were, as i often forget just how far Marshall has come, and how quickly he has done so.  I find myself often coming across parents with horror stories of bath time or birthday parties, and i laugh and tell them, "Go back and read that post!!".  I've been there, we've been there, and look at where we are now!  I love that i continue to be surprised at the child that Marshall is today, considering the child he used to be.  Last month i came across this post of 'Marshall's World at Home' from last year.  As i was reading through it, i was smiling the whole time.  To think, these were mostly positive and shocking at that time, and that Marshall is doing even better a year later.  I thought it might be fun, both for me and hopefully for you, to just copy and paste the post, and then add in, in RED, the updates or changes that we now see in our son.

Marshall's World at Home - October 17, 2011

There`s been a lot of cool things going on

here at home lately.

Marshall is doing really well everywhere he goes!

... and let me clarify that i mean 'really well... for Marshall'.

He does and always will have Autism.

We are in month 5 since the diagnosis and more recently,

Marshall is just becoming so independent.

It is awesome... most days ;)

I've been making a list of all the little things

that he is doing, doing differently, doing better lately,

and i am happy to share them with you!

Get ready for a lot of exclamation points -

i can't help myself!! :D

Marshall continues to push towards independance,

although it is not nearly as frustrating as it was sometimes.

He has conquered a lot and now are just part of this normal

things that he does on his own!

Also, Marshall's comprehention is coming along nicely,

and if i tell him i need to help him,

he often is fine with that.

Marshall has learnt how to ride a tricycle

using the pedals!

He is now riding a two wheeler with training wheels!

He will totally master it withough the little wheels next summer,

i am sure of that.  We didn't have a bike for him

until he was 4, but just before his birthday we went to

Toys R Us and both Danny and i started

laughing in shock as Marshall climbed onto a bike at the

store and started cruising around (with training wheels)

like he'd been doing this forever!!

He is helping me do laundry and willingly put his

favourite blanket in to be washed when i requested it

on 2 occaisions now!!

Marshall still happily puts his favourite blanket into the wash,

actually he requests it sometimes, bringing it to

me when i have other laundry i am doing :)

Marshall's original blue blanket knitted by Nana

fell apart months back.

She made him a new one...

which he rejected immediately. lol.

We've been trying to trick him but it hasn't worked.

His old blanket didn't even cover him at night

anymore. Then randomly one night,

he decided to make the trade all on his own.

I couldn't believe it when i saw the new blanket laying

on my kitchen floor the next morning!

The old one got one last wash and is now in hiding for life :)

We haven't had to change up Marshall's blanket since

this time, but i have been trying to introduce his quilt to him

made by Nana, for night time sleeping.

He is warm enough with his blue blanket, so i haven't pushed

it too much.  He does cover his pillow with the quilt

now and sleeps that way... as well as on top of all of his stuffies! lol.

Marshall has discovered his love for wa-wa's,

otherwise known as waffles.

This is not profound, but definitely a loved

and muched talked about food option for him

in the morning these days. lol.

Marshall still loves his wa-wa's, but he now calls them "waffles".

I did have to work on him getting those 'f''s in there

for a while :)

He also loves cinnamon buns for breakfast, or toast.

He has eaten some cereal with milk recently,

but definitely prefers a warm carb for breakfast...

and chocolate milk or juice with everything!

My kids never seem to have actual pajamas for bed.

I have some hand me downs from my oldest

for my younger daughter,

but Marshall is usually naked.

Now with fall settling in, he needs to be wearing

something more than nothing at bed time.

In the past, i've just thrown on an older

muscle shirt or tshirt on him.

Well, i tried that last week and M was freaking out!

I guess he thought i was dressing him for the

day or something, when all he wanted to

do was go to bed. lol.

I went out and bought him a pajama set,

Two actually as they were on sale.

Marshall rejected those at first too,

and the first night only slept with the bottoms on.

But the second night, he let me put on his shirt

and he fell asleep wearing it :)

Now, he loves his pj's!

It is no longer a confusing thing for him,

which was mostly my own fault.

Marshall's pajama wardrobe now has several options for him.

He had a slight resistance to adjusting from summer type pj's

into fleece ones for winter, but all in all did well with it.

He loves wearing pajamas and there are no issues with

getting him to wear them now.

Bed time all together has improved by leaps and bounds!!

Brushing Marshall's teeth has looked like this

most of his life: Chase him down, sometimes he

opens his mouth, sometimes he doesn't

and i have to fight him,

but they get brushed one way or another,

and the toothpaste is swallowed.

Suddenly, Marshall is interested in brushing his teeth at the sink!!

He will open his mouth bigger if i show

him in the mirror by opening mine.

He likes to watch me brush,

and he is a big fan of the spitting part!! lol.

He will take several sips of water

and spit them out and he is so happy to do so!

Of course, the first time i made a huge deal out of it

and i told him to go and show Daddy his teeth.

Off he ran into the living room beaming from

ear to ear to show off his pearly whites!

Daddy of course, plays it up too for him :)

Marshall is eager and excited and actually runs

into the bathroom when i suggest brushing teeth.

It's great.

Such a big boy!!

Bed time routine is very scheduled now, and Marshall loves it.

Both of the kids understand what is going on,

and they both enjoy the hour of getting ready for bed :)

Brushing teeth is no sweat, and Marshall does brush on his own

sometimes after i have finished.

He even lets me floss sometimes... thankfully his teeth all

have spaces between them so we shouldn't have any

worry of cavities for a while.

Marshall has been to the dentist twice, and both times were

successful!!  He watches his sister first and waits

patiently for his turn.  He loves the chair that moves up and down

based on which body part he touches (nose or knee).

He lets the dental hygenist brush them with that little spinny brush,

and lets her floss!

At the last visit we tried to put in the floride cups,

but Marshall started to cry... he'll get there in his own time, plus,

I don't like that part either so i get it.  lol.

He doesn't enjoy it, but he even let the dentist scratch off some plaque

with that nasty sharp tool that gives you goosebumps! 

Marshall has continued to bathe well.

He is helping me wash him.

His hair is getting on the longer side,

so washing is becoming a bit harder as it just takes

longer. He will be getting a buzz in the next couple

of weeks for sure.

Marshall is now laying down his head in the bath in order to

wash his hair!  I think i have mentioned this already, but it

is still sooo exciting :)

He lets me wash him the same as i would Devyn,

and bath time is just fun and productive and wonderful.

This is gross, but he even lets me clean out his nose

afterwards to avoid any runaways the next day.  lol.

Ahh... being a Mom ;)

A routine that Marshall has after bath and nose cleaning,

is to ask me to, "Lift me up!"

I pick him up in his towel like a baby, carrying him into

the livingroom where we've set up pillows and a

fluffy blanket for me to throw Marshall into :)

In talking about mastering sensory issues

with Marshall's in regards to his head...

Over the past year, Marshall has been getting regular

haircuts!!  We go to a friend of mine for this task.

The first time was a little shaky, but now he

looks forward to it, allowing for her to both

buzz the sides and cut the top.

You can see his discomfort at times,

but he is pretty good with a little verbal coaching

to sit through it.

He looks so handsome with an actual haircut :)

Also a side note,

he lets me cut his nails when i ask him to

without complaint now.

Evenings are great with the routine down pat.

And what is even greater,

is that suddenly Marshall is interested in actually

reading books!!!!!!!!!!

That one gets extra '!!!'

Up until recently, Marshall has only had interest in looking

at the pictures and talking very briefly about what

we see. But now, when his sister goes

to pick out her bedtime book, Marshall picks out his own too!

He even says "book" after showing

Daddy his smile :)

Both the kiddies climb to the top bunk and eagerly

await reading their books together.

Marshall is even waiting to read D's book first,

as long as he can turn the pages, he is happy...

and also, as long as there are not too many words.

But he'll let me read a Franklin book which isn't super short!

Then he gets his book out and we mostly talk about

the pictures, but sometimes he waits until he hears my

`reading voice`for a few sentences and then turns the page!

It has become such a great time with him.

I wondered if he'd ever get to this place.

And just like that, when he decides,

he really can do anything it seems!

Marshall loves bedtime reading,

and now lets me read the whole book.

Both he and Devyn choose their own

and let me turn the pages :)

Actually, Devyn often has home-reading from school

so she will read at bedtime.

Marshall will select his book of choice for me to read.

Last Spring i started using the calm bedtime to

prompt Marshall to work on his 's' and 'f' blends.

I have 3 pages now with drawn images that we work through.

Marshall knows that if he focuses and does his words

that i will read his bedtime book to him.

He also knows (i only had to do it once, and it was hard!)

that if he is being silly and goofing around,

that after two warnings, i will take away his bedtime book.

About half of the words that we work on

Marshall now says properly in his normal speaking!!

Today, our first SNOW DAY,

Marshall is still talking about all of the "(s)now"

and about making a "(s)nowman".  lol.

He'll figure it out eventually!

He has been requesting for me to "sing"

at bed time every night for the past several weeks.

Just recently he has started to sing along :)

It sounds nothing like what i'm singing,

but it's music to my ears!

Since he is so calm at night time now, i have been

able to start prayers with him.

We do the

Now i lay me down to..."leep"

I pray the Lord my soul to... "keet"

May your love go with me all the..."nigh"

and wake me up with the morning... "ligh"

"A-men!"

M finishes the last word of each line proudly :)

I love it.

Marshall still loves to sing at bedtime,

but will not let me pray with him anymore. lol.

His one and only request each night is to sing,

"Up, up, and away we go!"

which is from VBS last summer.

It's about God so i've decided that it serves as

worship/prayer and that works for us. ;)

Marshall sings along the whole time.

I believe i have shared that Marshall can successfully

put on his velcro sandals.

He is now putting on his velcro shoes all by himself!!

He knows to push the tongue down and he lines it

up just right. Pretty cool.

I remember seeing a documentary about a year

ago about a young autistic boy,

and they showed how he had mastered

putting on his shoes...

and for some reason i was moved by how hard

that little boy tried, and then succeded.

And now i can be proud of my son

for accomplishing something that a year ago,

seemed like a lost cause.

How cool is that?!

Marshall is a shoe master now.

He puts on his boots, shoes or sandals with ease.

He often puts them on the right feet without help,

but if he gets them wrong,

he is cool with switching them around now when i ask.

He used to get very mad about this request.  lol.

There is an example of how he's grown in his need to be

independant!

Marshall is also putting on his hat or toque,

as well as zipping up his jackets,

all on his own.

He also helps pack his lunch and tucks it into his

backpack, zipping it up himself :)

Marshall is also putting on his seatbelt himself

in the car. He's in a 5 point harness, and as long

as i give him a bit of extra belt,

he does it up all on his own!

and again, proud as ever of himself.

He is becoming so independent lately, it's crazy!

Marshall is a pro at putting on his 5 point harness

without giving him any extra belt now.

We use just a booster sometimes,

and he can buckle and unbuckle himself as well...

and he understands that it is not something he does

without asking either, so no worries of him unbelting

while driving :)

Marshall is trying to say any word we

ask of him lately, and he's even saying words on his

own too!

He has just started making "ch" and "j" sounds.

Words like "orange" actually sound like orange now!

The first word i heard him say with that sound was

"pinching". lol.

After several times of me having to be stern with

him about pinching his sister, and my having

to get right to his level and say, "no pinching",

he repeated it.

I was at a cross roads...

"Yes that's right Marshall, NO pinching,

and good talking Marshall- yeah no pinching-good boy!

Now NO pinching your sister." lol.

Even i had to laugh afterwards.

I don't even know where to begin with this section!!

Marshall's language, his biggest challenge,

has come along sooo much in a years time!!

I believe in his diagnosis at 3 years of age,

they put his language at a 1 year old level.

I have no professional to tell me where he is at now,

but i'd be comfortable saying that at 4.5 years old,

he is definitely at a 3 year old level if not more.

He has a LOT of words and talks constantly,

can't shut him up sometimes! lol.

Much of what Marshall has to say needs to be spoken more

clearly, which he is always working on and improving.

Also, just figuring out how to piece together sentences

using the words like; the, and, a, you, me

all appropriately is a daily challenge.

Right now, we are working on Marshall not referring to himself

as "Marshall".  lol.  He does this a lot,

but seems to be doing it less now that we've been

working on correcting him when he has mispoken.

Besides the pinching, pushing, pestering stuff

that Marshall is still doing at times,

he has been playing really well with his sister lately.

They have started wresting with one another...

and it is hilarious to watch them and to listen

to them laugh together.

He follows every direction she gives him!

Marshall wants to do everything with D.

He will yell for her if she is not right beside

him when going out the door.

It's really sweet.

She tells me every day that she wants to be a

teacher when she grows up because she

loves to teach Marshall.

She will make an awesome teacher...

she already is!

So much of what

Marshall is learning on a social level is from D.

Marshall's play skills have come a long way too!!

He is not pestering Devyn or his cousins anymore.

He takes turns and knows how to ask for

"5 minutes a my turn!"

when he wants something,

and also gives toys back when his turn is over.

His teachers at both schools have shared with me how

some days Marshall's social play is really great,

how he is making friends.

Friends.

I could not be happier to hear this!

Marshall now goes for sleepovers at my parents place!!

My two nieces and Devyn have been going for a few

years now, but we didn't think Marshall was ready,

and also knew that because of the way

that he plays, or doesn't understand play,

that having them all there together would be hard

and the girls would not enjoy their time as much.

Well, Marshall is in a place now where

they can all go together and they all enjoy the time spent

with Nana and Grandpa.

Sure, a lot of the play is more organzied with group games

led by my Mom to ensure they go smoothly.

Even our weekly dinners have had less,

"Marshall's ruining our coloring"

"Marshall's pulling my shirt"

"Marshall is driving us crazy!"

lol.

He seems to be learning what is acceptable play,

and for the most part, will adjust

his behaviour if i talk to him about it.

He is becoming more aware of others,

and therefore more concerned if there is fighting

or if someone is upset...

so... i guess we could call him a bit of a tattle tale.  lol.

He has incredible empathy though, which is wonderful.

Marshall is saying "lease" (please)

and "kan-ku" (thank you) on his own

without prompting all the time now.

He will call out,

"Mommy!! All done!"

when he wants me to clean up after him.

The other day he was looking at my book and when

he was done with it, he closed it and handed it to me

as he said,

"Here you go Mommy". :O

That one surprised me!

Four words together with purpose and in proper context.

That's my boy!!

Learning and growing every day!

Again, i am just so impressed with Marshall's progress

in his language.  I love reading how excited i was

at the small words he was piecing together,

or attempting to say.

It is all so much more invovled now.

The english language is not easy!!

Way to go Marshall,

you are a rockstar!

OH!!!

I almost forgot.

Ok, so this was so random and surprising...

We were at my sister's house for Thanksgiving

and Marshall needed to go "pee".

Marshall always sits down to go pee.

Back when we were trying to train him

(before he was ready), we'd try both sitting and

standing. He's watched Daddy a few times.

So anyways, i take him to the washroom

where he strips down his bottom half to nothing.

I turn around to help him shimy onto the potty

only to see him pressing himself against it...standing.

I am shocked. lol. I don`t know what to do,

so i do nothing but observe.

Sure enough, he stands there and starts to pee!!!

He even shifted over when the stream went

to the side! lol.

I couldn`t believe it.

I still can`t believe it.

He did his thing and acted as if this was an every day

occurance! He didn`t look to me for praise

or anything, simply put his clothes back

on and went out to play.

Unbelievable eh?

I went to my family at the table

and told them what just happened and asked them

if anyone had been teaching him this.

They all said no.

My husband said that that morning he had shown

Marshall an example again, but that was it.

Marshall peed again this same way another time

while at Thanksgiving, and then again at home

the same night before his bath.

He has not done it since.

So wierd!!!

This kid is full of surprises... and i love it!

Marshall is a pro washroom user!

Once he was potty trained at 3.5 years old,

he never looked back!!

I pack him extra clothes at school each day,

and we've never had to use them :)

He willingly washes his hand on his own in proper form now,

which is great and less work for me!

So here you have another post

filled with wonderful things!

Don`t get me wrong, there are still Marshall`s screaming fits,

tantrums and the frustrations

of our daily life here in the Hiebert home,

but all in all we just have

SO much to be thankful for.

Yeah Marshall!!!!!!!!!!

Screaming fits, tantrums, and frustrations.

The first two simply don't exist anymore.

Some of this is due to him just growing up,

as well as him having language in a way he just didn't have back then.

And some of this is also due to some of the adjusting i've

done in my own parenting :)

Does Marshall still get frustrated?

All the time.

So do i, often not even in relation to Marshall.

Allowing ourselves to get frustrated is part of life,

and i believe in that we can teach our children

how to manage stress and being upset in very healthy ways.

Marshall might escalade at unexpected things still,

or start crying over something that is odd.

But as a whole picture, Marshall's behaviour is amazing.

He is listening to Daddy and i at home.

He is having fun, loving and respecting his siblings.

He is learning and growing at school,

resepcting his teachers,

and making friends.

Look how far Marshall has come!!!

God has taken care of our family this past year,

and has allowed for so much positivity to keep us moving forward in hope.

I am so thankful that Marshall is in His hands.

Isaiah 40:30-31

Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

For I know the plans i have for you,

declares the Lord,

plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future.

Then you will call upon me

and come and pray to me,

and I will listen to you.

You will seek me and find me

when you seek me with all your heart.

Today's lesson: Be selfish

Yesterday i picked Marshall up from preschool and Mary, his aide, pulled me aside to chat.  She's never really done this before, so i was a little worried as to what she was going to tell me.  Mary started out by saying that Marshall had a very hard morning :(  She told me that they were making/decorating gingerbread men, and Marshall really wanted to make one for his sister Devyn, and became upset when he was told that he could only make one.  I was not surprised by this.  Marshall and Devyn share a lot and are always looking out for one another.  But, i guess Marshall couldn't let it go during class, and so the tears came, and frustration came.  Throughout the morning, he kept bringing up wanting to have a second cookie for Devyn, along with the tears.  Mary told me that they did have an extra gingerbread man, but the teachers and her were hesitant to give him one as the other children would want a second one as well.  I then also mentioned that if they did it once, then he will expect it each time and escalade with more persistance in the future.  The teachers all agreed. 

After Mary mentioned all of this to me, two thoughts that came to mind right aways.  In the past few weeks at NSAP (Next Step Autism Program) Marshall has been bringing home his food rewards in a ziploc bag (jelly beans or chocolate chips) because he has chosen to "save a wawer (later)", and to share at home with the family.  It is so sweet.  He was saving the coffee flavoured ones for Daddy "cause Daddy a love coffee!" :)  How many kids do you know who will get just 5 jelly beans and not hoover them on the spot, but ask to take them home to give them away?  It warms my heart each day to see the excitement on his face that he has something to share with us.  With Marshall having a different BI (behaviour interventionist) each day, there were some days where Marhsall's bag would come home with a sharpied label on it, and other days when it wouldn't.  Marshall would get upset if the bag didn't have any writing on it, so the teachers made a plan that sometimes they would, and sometimes they wouldn't, all to teach Marshall that it is ok for things to change.  This is something that Marshall struggles with across the board, and it is an 'autism thing' as well.  Marshall is actually really ok with sudden changes such as going shopping (he has come to love shopping and asks to go daily), or bigger planned things like that.  But what he struggles with are the little changes in routine, such as the labelled bag mentioned above, or the order in which we work on his 'S' and 'F' blend sheets at bedtime, or if someone else gets the cup of water ready for brushing teeth at bedtime.  For the most part, i don't try to break these smaller things.  But now with Marshall spending so much of his focus at preschool that morning on crying and wanting to share so badly, it needs to be addressed. 

After sharing with Mary about the bag of goodies from NSAP, i remembered this story from last week.  It brought me to tears last week when it happened, and of course, i couldn't help but cry in front of Mary as i shared it with her, realizing that this was most likely why Marshall was getting so upset about wanting to share with Devyn.  I posted it on facebook as a conversation, and so i will just cut and paste it here for you now.

In the car on the way home...

Devyn: "Mom, today we got to decorate gingerbread men, and since I don't like gingerbread, I made mine for Marshall."
Marshall (before I could respond): "Is really really nice a Marshall, Devyn!"
Me: "You two are so sweet."
Devyn then pulled out the cookie from her backpack and sadly realized that most of her sprinkles had fallen off.
Marshall's response: "Devyn hand a give a kiss."
Devyn handed him her hand which he kissed and then said, "I love a ginger man Devyn, a love it"

Ok, so now I am welling up with tears. We pull into the driveway and as they are unbuckling, Marshall says, "Devyn come a hug a ginger man (hug me), I love it a really nice."

I could not be happier to be able to tell both my kids how proud I am of their kind hearts, and how well they love eachother . Proud Mama over here right now.

 

Ahhh... now it all makes sense why he couldn't let it go when he was told that he couldn't have one for Devyn.  Marshall could have chosen to give his one gingerbread man, or as he likes to call it, "gingerman boy" to Devyn, but i guess that was just too much of a sacrifice.  lol.  He was torn, and just wanted a second cookie.  I get it. 

The preschool teachers were all giving me their sympathy faces as they said, "He just wants to share, it's so hard to tell him he can't, but that's just how it is sometimes".  I totally get it.  And i know buddy, it sucks.

 

On my way home with Marshall after preschool was over, i started to think about what i could do to help Marshall understand this concept of; sometimes we can share and other times we can't.  And it dawned on me that really, what i need for him to learn, is to be more selfish.  lol.  Selfish.  That just doesn't sit well with me!  I know that isn't quite right, but at the root of it, that is what my child needs to learn, right?  Just eat your own reward, Marshall.  Don't think about your sister when you're making cookies, just gobble it up and brag to her later about how you got a cookie and she didn't.  lol.  Maybe this is what 'normal' kids do?  Just think about themselves?  I am closest with my nieces who are my kids' age, and i can see this in them.  I don't think it makes them bad kids, but i think my kids have just learned differently.  My kids are not normal. lol.  And in this sense, i could not be happier about that. 

 

Devyn's whole life, she has adjusted to make sure that Marshall is included, that he is shown love and acceptance, and she is smart enough to know that if she asks for a second goody bag for her brother at her own friends party (embarassing, but sweet.  lol), that she will get to enjoy her bag herself, without having to share, or without being asked to share.  Don't get me wrong, there are times when i let Devyn have her own things, and help Marshall work through the saddness of that, but for the most part, they want to share with one another.  It makes me happy and proud.  Because of Devyn's tender heart towards Marshall, she desires to make him happy, and to not see him upset.  She has learned how to create harmony in our home by what she sees from me, i guess.  Danny and I have had to work extra hard in those years from 2-4 with Marshall, to figure out how to have success with him, and Devyn has been observant.  We still adjust our lives for success with this kids all the time, and i think that when the odds are against you (having a diagnosis that falls under Autism and plenty of reasons/excuses to live in chaos), you try harder and you do better to make it work.  I believe we have had so much success because of the hope that we have, as well as the daily effort to live our own kind of normal :)

 

So, moving forward, i have talked to the staff at NSAP about the goody bags, telling them that maybe between them they can figure out days when Marshall is allowed to take home his rewards to share, and days when he needs to eat them when they are recieved.  They were all on board, and i had them all laughing when i said, "I will do my best to make sure Marshall learns to be more selfish."  One of the BI's commented on how funny my choice of words is.  Really though, i think i am spot on.  I need to teach Marshall about this world we live in.  Giving, caring, and loving are all wonderful qualities, but in thinking about all of this, i can see Marshall growing up and having a lot of people walk all over him, using him for their own gain.  I could leave this all alone, knowing that he will learn these harsh life lessons at school as he gets older, or i could try to adjust a little bit at home (as much as it pains me), teaching him that sharing is 'unacceptable' sometimes.  UGH.  This back and forth conversation with myself is annoying me!!  lol. 

 

Perhaps it won't hurt anybody to just leave my sweet, sweet son for now.  Soak it all in.  Let him learn to be selfish in his own time, as i'm sure it will come.  We all have that in us... and that's the thing with autism, that so much of the social world needs to be taught.  But teaching selfishness?  I guess i have no solid plan for this lesson right now. lol.  It's hard to be excited about a game plan that teaches an undesireable characteristic.  So,  I will adjust as needed to ensure success at his schools, and that's it for now.   We shall see how Marshall's tender heart develops over time... the world can ruin him later (lol), but for the time being, i will embrace every last bit of my loving, selfless little man :)

Triple P Stepping Stones

About a year and half ago, i was talking with one of the professionals working with Marshall about some struggles we were having with his behaviour.  He had very little language and minimal comprehention at 3 years old, and we had a lot of tantrum behaviour, as well as a lot of pestering (mostly toward Devyn and his girl cousins his age).  I had been trying to do some time outs, but the woman i was speaking to told me that often kids with ASD don't have the comprehensive skills to understand what it is i am trying to do, and will also forget very quickly why they are on a time out, and therefore time outs just don't work.  I remember her smiling, I think it was Janel from NSAP actually, and asking me, "So how are the time outs working for you?".  I laughed and said, "they're not".  I'm not sure if it was Janel the first time, but i had this Triple P parenting class brought up to me a couple of times over the past year or so.

Triple P Stepping Stones is a parenting class that helps parents with kids who have special needs.  There is a Triple P (no stepping stones) that is based on typical kids with behavioural issues.  Stepping Stones runs once a year (maybe twice) through FVCDC here in Abbotsford.  Kim is the contact person and she had phoned me after our CDC rep brought our family to her attention.  The course is a 9 week commitment with 5 evenings in class and runs from 6-8:30pm.  The cost is $20 and you get a work book along with the course. My husband wasn't getting home from work until 7:30pm last year, so it was just too much to ask of my family to help me out.  As you know from following this blog, Marshall has come leaps and bounds over the past year and a half.  Behaviours at home are manageable and we have re-introduced time outs with him over the past few months (Super Nanny style... minutes per age, hugs and sorrys afterwards) with his language and comprehension increasing and they have been working pretty well. So when Kim phoned me in August about the upcoming course this fall, i didn't really feel like i needed it anymore.  I talked it over with my husband and he figured since his new job allows for him to be home before dinner time, i should just do it.  This was around the same time that the topic of me going back to school to do the EA Program had come up, so i figured even just to have a Special Needs related certificate to put on my resume wouldn't hurt.  (I have come to find out that they will be introducing this program into the schools in the near future, so i will be ahead of the game:))  Also, i enjoy building relationships in my ASD community using my experiences and knowledge from them, and figured perhaps i could use what i learn in this course to help others.  Yes, i am aware that i sound super high on myself with this last statement.  lol.  I am not a perfect parent at all, but i did feel confident about the parenting that was happening currently in my home :)

The group of parents taking this class has a mix of different special needs with their children.  There are about 8 of us in total including 2 women teaching the course, so it is a nice small setting that is super interactive and everyone can share openly.  I sat down and recieved my book where the title states 'Triple P Positive Parenting Solutions'.  I laughed to myself as i now realized that this course would be about positive parenting and thinking it funny that i never asked what Triple P even stood for.  lol.  I really feel like i am a positive parent.  I started to wonder what the heck i was even doing here, that maybe this would all be a big waste of time.  As a group we brainstormed some words that were written on the white board about what it feels like to be a parent.  When the first words that were mentioned by others were: Exausted.  Draining.  Stressful.  I thought, oh man, this is going to be really depressing before it gets better!!  These words coming from these defeated men and woman were heartbreaking, but i could totally relate based on where i was a year or so ago.  Yes, parenting can be all those things, but the first words that came to my mind were Rewarding and Purposeful, which i did share with the group.  The course follows a video series as well and after the first 3 classes, i felt like i was an instructor in the course.  I knew all of this stuff already, and like the teachers of the course, i just fail at times with actually implimenting what i know.  I found myself carefully offering advice to some of the parents in situations which was kinda fun.  Having gone through some of their struggles and seen success, it was rewarding to be able to contribute ideas and suggestions.  The videos and discussion did offer some reminders of things i could tweek in my own parenting as well.
So, 'Mrs. I know Everything' (me) had everything crumble down on week 4 when the topic of time outs was introduced.  lol.  It was quite humbling.  Apparently time outs are only to be used as a last resort.  'Quiet time' is the preferred discipline which is a new idea i hadn't heard of.  Basically it is just sitting the child (after a warning but behaviour continues) in a spot in the same room where the behaviour happened and allowing for them to be quiet for about a minute.  The course teaches that if the child is not cooperating in Queit time, that a Time out follows.  Time outs should only be for a couple of minutes, not based on the childs age.  When the time out has ended, there is to be no discussion except to tell the child that their time out is over.  Huh.  Well, i threw in my opinions and had a decent discussion with Kim trying to defend the fact that i feel discussion after a timeout is a positive thing.  Marshall apologizes to me and hugs me, and i remind him about the bad behavoiur and remind him to make better choices next time, and also if he hurt someone else in the process, he is to go to them and apologize as soon as the time out is over.  Marshall does all of this willingly and does not go back to repeating unwanted behaviours afterwards.

What Triple P teaches is that bringing up the 'bad behaviour' in discussion after a time out has been completed, is bringing up negativity.  If i desire Marshall to apologize to me, or to his sister, i should do any talking right in the moment prior to bringing him into a time out area.  Then, since there is nothing to talk about after the time out is over, it is the goal to pay close attention to your child directly after they come back into normal play, and be sure to praise any positive play (especially if they are sharing now, when before they weren't).  This will make the child feel proud of their change in actions.  Naturally, we all seek praise and thrive off of it, adults and kids.  Ok, so all of this made sense to me and so i decided to switch it up.  Oh, and i had also shared with the class that often all i needed to say was, "Marshall, do you need to go for a time out?" to get his behaviour to change.  My thought was that i am asking him to make a more conscious choice about whether or not he should continue the behaviour, or if he needs to remove himself to calm down.  But i was told nicely that what i am doing is simply threatening him.  lol... and yeah, i guess i kinda was!

So, i have stopped asking/threatening Marshall on the time outs.  I have introduced Quiet time.  There has been a lot more that i've learned, or been reminded of, such as how i ask M to complete a task.  My tone, my eye contact with him, giving him more 'mommy time'.  I have been more cautious of what I am doing and saying, and it has made a difference :)

During our last (well 5th, so last class before the 3 week break) class, we were introduced to Planned Activities Routines.  The instructors were quite excited and told us several times how this is their highlighted teaching point of the entire thing.  Basically, it's figuring out what are some 'high risk' scenarios with your child, and then breaking down the leading up to the scenarios in order to better prepare ourselves, and our child for what's to come, in hopes of having greater success.  So, for me right off the bat, i really only had one thing stick out to me that i would consider high risk, and that was having newer friends in our home or backyard and Marshall having to share the space and his toys.  My mind went back to the gathering with some old friends and their kids and the disaster that that playdate was for Marshall this past summer.  Some other scenarios that parents said were shopping, leaving playdates, playdates in general, keeping their kids occupied while their other children are involved in sporting activities.  As a class, we broke down 2 mom's scenarios and everyone pitched in their ideas of how to make them a success.  It was fun!!  And i think we all came away feeling hope and ready to tackle our own high risk tasks!

After coming home and thinking about it some more, i came up with a high risk scenario that i don't even think about anymore, because it was so high risk, that we just stopped doing it!  And that was allowing for Devyn to have a friend over for a playdate.  She understands that things are complicated and is ok with going into other peoples homes for playdates, but really, it is something that she should be able to do.  So during my home phone call from Kim a few days later, i shared with her that this was the scenario that i was going to tackle with Marshall.  She was fully in support of this and together we came up with a plan to prepare Marshall for it.  In the past, i would continue to do household things and just let Devyn know that it was best if she tried to include Marshall or he would scream the whole time.  lol.  Seriously though.  Now remember, that was over a year ago when we tried a few times.  I remember seeing her friends' faces as they were annoyed with M and his invasive and directive play.  Devyn didn't mind as she is just used to having him around, but it upset me to see it, so we just stopped entirely. 

So the plan was to give Marshall lots of warning both the day before, as well as the morning of the playdate.  The warnings were actually upsetting him, so i backed off on them.  I chose to have my one niece come over during our experiment rather than a new friend into the home.  What this entire success story really depended on, was my involvement during the playdate time.  In the past i would try to distract M with tv or a movie, and it never worked.  The key to making these high risk scenarios successful is to do something new, something your child doesn't get to do often, something they would look forward to.  And all the while, getting to spend some one on one time with you which is often its own greatest reward for the child (and for you i discovered :))  So i decided to bake cookies with Marshall. 

The playdate was scheduled for a 2 hour period.  Marshall was a tad upset about not getting to play in the bedroom with the girls (the rule for the girls was they had to play in the bedroom), but he got over it quickly when i started hunting and needed help to find all of the ingredients on our list from the kitchen.  He did ask about the girls a few times throughout the cookie time, but i just said they were playing and Marshall was with Mommy.  He didn't press more.  I had also decided to make a tea party setting at the table and invite the girls to come and join us for cookies and tea once they were done.  Marshall really enjoyed setting the table nice, and we added some candles which for M meant turning all of the lights out in the house :)  During the baking time, i had planned to pull out the game Memory which i know he likes as he plays it with Nana often.  He was into it for a brief period of time but then was being silly and not playing correctly.  I decided to use the images to quiz him and to work on his speech, and he was into that so we went through all of the cards like that.  It was really great to hear some of his blends that we work on daily, actually come out naturally during this activitiy without a prompt!  Then when we were done, i pulled out Jenga, the block building game...'you take a block from the middle and you put it on top' :)  M was really loving this game, and he even followed the rules by taking turns and rolling the dice that decided the color he had to choose, which surprised me.  It was a lot of fun and we laughed a lot together... he's such a funny guy.  The whole 2 hours was a success, and it was so encouraging to me to know that with a little planning and effort on my part, Devyn's world doesn't have to be altered. 

You know, often when i choose to spend time with my kids at home, it's 5 minutes here or there.  There is nothing wrong with that, actually, even 30 seconds of positive attention at a time throughout the day is huge for kids (promoted at Triple P).  I have sat down and colored with both the kids for a longer length of time, or played a game with both of the little ones, and from time to time i will engage in hide and seek for about half an hour.  But this day, setting up a full 2 hours just to spend with my son was a change, and it was amazing.  When in my own head i had decided that the task was, 'successful playdate for Devyn', and my only job was to keep Marshall engaged, all of the other distractions (housework mainly) weren't even an option for me.  They were not a thought in my head.  I could be the Mom i wanted to be with Marshall in those two hours and i tell you, he totally ate it up.  Now i know that in the future, playdates are possible for Devyn, and now Marshall will know that he gets me all to himself, and that that is way more fun than bugging Devyn and her friend :)

Things at home have been wonderful.  Marshall is listening better... this was usually what the time outs were for in the past.  But i know that he is listening better, because i am asking better.  I am so thankful for Triple P and for Kim and Bernadette and that courses like this are offered right here in my own community.  Signing up for a class like this can often shout, "I am a bad parent"  "I have lost all control over my children"  "Help!  I have reached rock bottom."  Lol.  And this is embarassing and hard to admit.  But I laugh because in the past, i would have judged any one of my friends or family who had signed up for a class such as this.  But, then you grow up, and you show up, and you mature as a parent.  You come to realize that you are far from perfect.  You want to do what's best for your kids... and sometimes we need to be taught how to do that.... even when we think we know it all already.  I have no shame in reaching out and accepting help, in changing the course i was on to better the life of my kids and of my own.  Learning is growing, and just because we are adults, doesn't mean we know everything.  I believe there is always opportunity to learn... and old dog can learn new tricks!!  And as you can see, my willingness to be open to learning has benefitted not only those around me, but me, myself and i :)

School in 2013

We were at my parents place for lunch this past Sunday and my brother BJ mentioned 2 things:

One, my blogs posts have been lacking, and when i do post they are always an overview of the past several months.  True.  I miss writing in the moment as each adventure takes place, but i just can't seem to find the time to sit down and get it out soon after, and the more time that passes the more it feels like i can't talk in the moment.  Perhaps it was more enjoyable to read my posts as i wrote them before?  I don't know.  Definitely more detail than what i have been doing lately.  Perhaps this can be a new years goal?  lol.  Well, for now, this is just practical for me... and this time it's only a month and a half!  I have 3 different topics that i will be posting in the next few days so they are more specific :)

Two, my brother mentioned that when i do post, his name is never mentioned.  lol.  Well BJ, here you are, my opening act!!  hmmm... perhaps i should say something nice about him?  He is 26 years old, tall, dark and handsome, and available!!!!  He has a steady job and his 'own' place.  He's smart, funny, and musically talented!!  Any girl would be so blessed to be a part of my family, we are the best!!  haha.  Ok, i feel this is satistfactory.  I'm sure this is exactly how you were hoping to be mentioned BJ, so, you're welcome!  lol.  Moving on...

Now, if you are wondering if you are reading the right blog i will confirm that yes, yes you are!  This blog is about Marshall, my 4.5 year old son who falls on the Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).  I often state that Marshall has 'Autism', because people understand that (kinda), but the Autism Spectrum was layed out like this for me when M was diagnosed:

*Aspergers - severe social struggle, normal language and learning (often very smart)
*PDD-NOS (Pervasive Development Disorder- Not otherwise stated) - basically it doesn't fit into either of the other two catergories.
*Autism (classic Autism) - you will see the most symptoms in this diagnosis such as hand flapping, rocking, stemming, social struggle, little to no language

Marshall falls under PDD-NOS... so i suppose i should say that he falls under the ASD, rather than just "He has Autism", but like i said, the word Autism is more easily understood by others.  By saying what i often do, i am actually making Marshall's diagnosis more extreme than need be with these catergories.  Goes to show how much more people need to be informed.  A lot of people in my ASD circles knock the Autism Speaks campaign as they feel all the money just goes to publicity rather than actually helping the kids through therapy or whatever.  But i feel like someone has to be the social and public face of awareness.  I try to do my part in my community, but they do it globally which is great. 

Last blog post i left off that i was heading to Marshall's preschool (Abby Christian) to speak with the Principal to discuss options for Marshall for Kindergarden next fall.  It seems so early to be thinking about next fall, but being in a private school, i need to make my decision in the New Year so he's registered where i want him to be.  Basically, the Principal told me that the preschool teachers that Marshall has now, along with their Special Needs Coordinator person at the school (who is apparently amazing), the Principal, and myself will all sit down to discuss Marshall at some point in the New Year.  I am supposed to hand over all of Marshall's paperwork (I can't imagine that they actually mean ALL of it, there is a LOT) to the SN chick and then they will inform me as to their recommendation for how much extra support M will need.  Due to the fact that Marshall has been managing with a shared aide in preschool, i doubt he will get full support moving forward.  I have been told by several professionals that having a shared aide, if you're child manages alright, is really ideal as it allows for the child to be more independent, and less dependent on the aide for every little thing.  This makes sense to me. 

At our school, i have the option of part-time K which is what we did for Marshall's sister last year and it worked well.  It was Tuesdays and Thursdays all day, and about 1 extra Monday per month.  The Principal explained to me that with SN kids they offer to the parents to pay for part-time tuition, but then have the child come every day until around 11am.  They find that our kids need consistancy but struggle with the length of all day.  I can see that.  Then of course i have the option of just putting M in full-time Kindergarden.  I will weigh the opinions of the staff at the school of course, but i feel like Marshall is ready for full-time.  He is doing 2 schools per day totalling 4.5 hours some days, and loving it.  Socially, i think it would be great for M to be in school every day all day.  I spoke with the little boys Mom with whom Marshall shares and aide right now, and she is putting her son in full days next year.  She has other SN children in the school and so she knows who she wants to request for an EA and to have our boys together as they have worked well so far.  I think i will go along with this plan, unless suggested otherwise.

The other thing i need to consider is Marshall's Next Step Autism Program.  Because his birthday is in May, he will have the full funding during his whole year (minus June) of Kindergarden.  There is a time slot from 3-5pm at NSAP, but to ask Marshall to do 8 hours of school per day at the age of 5 just seems insane, and i don't feel is in his best interest.  Janel (NSAP) let me know that they would work with our family to customize Marshall's schedule to how we see best.  She let me know that some families just opt to have her come into the classroom on a monthly basis to do an assesment and then relate her directions to the aide at the school.  Then there's the social group at NS which is for 6 and over and happens one day per week for 2 hours.  I had thought that this would be a good option for Marshall (i may have misunderstood Janel, but i thought she suggested at one point that M could attend next year), but i recently had someone who knows the program suggest to me that Marshall's social skills are coming along well, and that if he stays on the same progress track, that he will not need the social program.  This was encouraging to hear!!  I know his speech will be the main struggle for Marshall always, despite how much he is improving daily, and i am happy to know that i can use the funding after he turns 6 (will drop from the current $22,000 yearly to $6000 yearly) in a very focused way.  I am also thrilled to learn that the SLP (Speech) that we love is also listed under ACT (a list that us parents have to choose from if we desire to hire independently for therapy) and that the option might be there to pursue that during his K year, and/or afterwards.

So as of right now, without having discussed any concrete options with either school, i'm feeling like we will put Marshall into full-time Kindergarden.  If possible, i'd like to pull him out at noon on 2 of the days of the week (tues and thurs perhaps) to attend NSAP during the afternoon timeslot (maybe doing 4 hours on these 2 days instead of just 2), and then if possible, attend NS on Pro-D days and other holidays (Christmas and Spring Break) when they are still running and regular school is not.  We shall see in the next couple of months how this all plays out :)

On a different note...This all came up very suddenly (early September), but has now all been confirmed... I have been accepted into the EA (Educational Assistant) Program at CBC (Columbia Bible College)!!!!  I will focus on Autism and working with kids under this diagnosis, naturally, as i am somewhat of an expert ;)  haha.  I am very excited about this!!  I did not do any post education after highschool.  My only 'career dreams' were to be a Mom, and i love being one.  I have also loved helping out in Devyn's classroom both last year and this year.  My husband and i have discussed over the years a few options about what i could do once the kids are both in school full-time, but going back to school was never one of them.  My husband suggested that i look into this course a couple of months ago as he felt i would be good at it, and it would coincide with the kids' school schedule.  I was flattered that he suggested it, and have been overwhelmed by the support from my family and friends since pursing it.  What an unexpected adventure!!  God has a plan... i live by this.  How neat that He chose to use my special needs son to grow me and mould me into someone who doesn't fear, but who has a heart for these special kids and what they have to offer our world. 

During my talk with the Principal in regards to Marshall, i spoke with him about my plans to look into going back to school.  His face lit up and he said that often it is parents or those with family members with special needs who get into this kind of work later on in life.  He recommended two schools to obtain my certification and i chose the local one.  He also encouraged me to do my practicum at the school.  Awesome!!  At this point in time, i really only desire to work at Abby Christian where my kids are at.  The EA Program is a part-time 1 year program which is probably manageble to most people.  I am choosing to make sure i succeed and do not become overwhelmed, and am going to stretch it out over a year and a half starting in January :)  I am attending an Educators Conference following some workshops at CBC over the next month to get some specifics on SN teaching and EA before i get into the full swing of school and am looking foward to it! 

Have a great day :)

Can you spell 'Marshall'? ok!

A few months ago, i sat down with Marshall and tried to get him to write out his name.
I thought i'd start by making a dotted tracing line for 'M', so i did.
Marshall went on his own piece of paper and started to draw a dotted 'M'.
Then when i showed him how to trace the line, he yelled at me and didn't like that,
so i dropped it.
Then at Marshall's preschool meeting, one of the teachers said,
"I bet Marshall know's 'M' by now since he was drawing them already last year."
hmmm...
I hadn't been trying with him, so i just casually changed the subject.  lol.
Then when i came home, i asked Marshall what the first letter in his name was.
He seemed confused by my question, but invited me to
come and sit and the table with him cause he wanted to write his name!!
So, I wrote out his name (all uppercase) and he watched me.
Then he picked up his crayon, and did it himself... like he'd been doing it for a year already!!!  what the??
The next day i had him try his name again, but with appropriate lowercase letters.
He complied and did it almost perfect.
Seriously??!  This kid is so full of surprises...
it's just always in his own time :)

I failed to mention in my summer post that we made it to the beach as well
last weekend... just squeezed it in!!
White Rock is always an enjoyable day and i am glad that
we were able to go again this year. 
Marshall was a little 'wild' for the first while as we tried to
show him how cool it was to make rivers and let the water flow through.
My parents joined us as well.  By the end (of course) Marshall was having fun
and then it was over as the tide came in.  lol.
Fish and chips for lunch, and feeding the seagulls the leftovers.
A great day of shell hunting, river building, and walking in the cool water.
So relaxing.