Kindergarten

The Preschool that Marshall attended for 2 years is an extension of the private school K-12 that he is now attending, so the transition from one to the other was smooth.  It was great to have a Team meeting in June with the new staff who would be working with M, and to have 2 preschool teachers who know M so well already there to contribute.  Marshall has the same Kindergarten teacher that his sister had 2 years ago (Mrs. H), and a shared aide whom we have already grown to love in this past month and a half (Mrs. P).

Marshall has been asking "how many sleeps to Kindergarten?" since Spring.  lol.  There was much excitement in those last months of preschool and M was ready for the big move.  Over summer holidays he asked a lot about K, his new teachers, and also friends.  The school was great and gave him a transition booklet (social story) that we could read to show where M had been, and where he was going, all with pictures. 

You may remember that we committed to part-time K, but in the full time classroom.  This option was offered to us by the school, and is offered to all kids with special needs as it offers more consistency in their day.  The part-time K is 2 full days per week, so the option of every day half day was much more appealing since we still have full funding for Marshall to have therapy for a couple of hours each day until June. 

We went in for the 'meet the teacher' time slot which was intended to be 15 minutes.  Well, we ended up going on a day where no other children were booked, and stayed for about an hour.  It was really great to chat with the teacher and the EA about different things we've been seeing, mainly behavior stuff over the summer.  I didn't mention that in the last post, but M was exhibiting some behaviors that I have not seen in years, and it was very frustrating.  There was one instance where I took him to the Dr. office and he was a total terror... yelling, banging the toys around, then even laying on the bench near someone else just repeatedly kicking his feet so the whole bench moved (the lady was not impressed).  I would talk sternly to M, but he would continue on... major flashbacks were happening and I didn't understand where this was coming from?  I know that summer is change and there is less structure, and that can often bring on behavior.  But in summers past I have not had issues with this, so I will say that some of the inconsistency happening at NSAP over the summer, with the new BI's and maybe he was getting away with more, was perhaps part of what was going on.  I am happy to say that since school has started, and therapy has changed, we have Marshall back :)

During this 1 hour meeting though, M wandered off to play in the classroom while the teacher and I chatted some more.  There were a few of these behavioral things that crept up where we had to step in during his play, so the teacher was grateful to see what I was referring to first hand. 

The first day of school and Marshall is stoked!!  We had a new backpack, lunch kit, some school supplies, and he picked a pair of shoes from the assortment that fits him to use as inside shoes.  Keep that last one in mind as there is a story brewing!!  We drove to school, parked the car, and walked to the classroom.  M lined up with all the other kids against the wall near the K door, and he even let me take a picture of him smiling :)  The bell rang, I helped him get settled a bit with changing shoes and hanging up all of his stuff, hugs and kisses, and then I left.  Leaving felt different than in preschool.  I'm not typically the mom who gets all emotional over 'my babies are growing up too fast', but that day, seeing my youngest who is a whopping FIVE years old leave me for what will be a minimum 13 year journey of school, I did feel a sense of  holy cow, my kids are in elementary school... how did that happen?  I am so happy though, that both M and his sister love school, love learning, and do well in that environment.  I don't think that the time has gone by so fast, as many mom's do.  I feel like these past years have been hard work, and more than anything, the timing is right for Marshall, and he is ready. 

The first week was half days for the whole class, so I pick M up at the same time as the other children get picked up.  All the kids came outside smiling and happy, and Marshall was one of them!  Mrs. P let me know that he had an awesome first day, and that she was so impressed with him.  YEAH!  Then I looked down at M's feet and noticed that he still had on his inside shoes, his Spiderman shoes that he picked out as inside shoes.  I decide to point it out and to make sure we do the exchange, after all, consistency and routine are important.  I also know that if we don't stick to the routine, that could lead to further issues down the line.  So, I make light of it still, joking that M forgot to change his shoes, and he is giggling and happy to follow me back into the classroom to change them. 

We get into the classroom and I am ahead of Marshall.  We go to his cubby and I pull out his home shoes to change them.  Marshall is next to me now, and he starts telling me that he doesn't want to change shoes.  I explain to him that we have to, and that it is a K rule to leave our inside shoes at school so they stay clean.  Now, after an explanation like this, it can really go either way, and I can't seem to predict which way it will go in any situation!!  Well, this time, M has taken his stance to fight me on this.  Great.  I continue to tell him, trying to change how I am telling him each time, that we need to change his shoes.  He is getting worked up, starting to get teary eyed, and also yelling at me. 

Come on Marshall, it's been such a great day, why won't you just change your shoes!  Why are we making this a big deal?  Just do it and let's get out of here.  You changed your shoes for 2 years in preschool, this is the routine you know.  I'm not ready for a fight, where is this coming from?!! 

This is all running through my head as his words, volume and tone, all escalade.  By this time, all the children have left and the EA who was standing by observing, is trying to chime in to help.  It's not working.  I'm sitting on the floor, knowing that as much as I want to just drop the whole exchange and get out of there, hopeful for better transition the next day, I have to follow through on what I said.  And at this point I know it is going to get ugly before it gets better.  *sigh.  Mrs. H has come over now and is using her strictest, no-nonsense tone, and gets to his level to tell him that she does not like the way he is speaking to me, and that it is disrespectful and rude.  I am hopeful that this tone will bring fear in M, and that he will apologize and smarten up, but it doesn't.  He starts to get kinda pushy and flailing his arms around, and I end up pulling him to the ground so he won't leave the room.  He is yelling back through tears at Mrs. H as well.  Now, I am so embarrassed, and wimpy me, I start to tear up.  Mrs. H notices and sends me out of the room to 'grab a class of water' for her.  I'm not sure if M has seen my tears, but I take him off me and leave, knowing he is in good hands, but just so upset about the whole thing.  I enter the hallway and burst into full crying... awesome.  I head to the bathroom to get a tissue, and I can hear my son screaming for me all the way down the hallway.  He is not giving up the fight, and I hear them using some force to retain him, which only makes him scream and cry louder.  Several teachers are peeking their heads out with concern on their faces, and closing their doors.  Two other EA's who are working in the hallway with other children, come running over to see why someone is screaming bloody murder, and then they see me, and they know, and I get an empathetic look, which just evokes more tears.  (oh goodness, writing this is making me cry right now!! jeepers!...i'm not on much sleep today.  lol)

I come back near the classroom after my bathroom break, and sit in the hallway.  Marshall has stopped screaming and crying, and I can hear that hiccupy, after-crying sound of catching your own breath.  Mrs. H opens the door to invite me back in, and let's me know that although they don't have the outside shoes on yet, the inside ones are off and in their cubby.  Marshall runs over to me and we all go sit at the table, he on my lap.  He immediately lifts up his shirt and asks me to "rub my back", which has become a bedtime routine, turned calming routine I guess.  We all sit there, exhausted, trying to gently convince M to put his outside shoes on so we can go home.  The shoes that he chose for insides, he now had changed his mind.  He wanted to take them home so badly, but I had to make him leave them there.  It wasn't what I wanted to do, but despite the meltdown, I offered to take him shopping for new shoes that afternoon, both as a way to get him to want to leave, and also a way to specifically designate new shoes for 'sleeping at school'.  He liked this idea, and the teachers supported it.  Marshall got up, smiled, told us to close our eyes, and then ran to hide in the room with his outside shoes, and I knew he was ready to put them on, and he did, and then surprised us.  Then he ran out the door and they laughed as I jumped up and said, 'I gotta take this opportunity!' and left without proper closure to the subject or proper goodbyes.  Half an hour... that's how long this 'episode' lasted from start to finish.  I was pooped. 

We went home, and on the car ride I talked to Marshall about his choice of behavior, and told him how it made me and the teachers upset when he yelled at us like that.  He said, "Sorry Mama" and then wanted to go back and say sorry to the teachers.  I could tell he was remorseful, and I wonder how much of that is choice for him when it becomes so escaladed?  Perhaps he gets to the breaking point and then beyond that, some of it is out of his own control?  We sure don't see too much of this type of behavior... the last time being when I blogged about it back in May in my "Pardon Me?" post.  This was similar to that time, and just so outside of Marshall's typical character that it makes me wonder what is all going on inside that mind of his!

Once home, I called NSAP to cancel his therapy, and started crying again to the BI on the phone!  lol, oh dear.  Both Marshall and I were so drained, and I wanted to take him shopping so we made sure to start Tuesday fresh.  Boy am I glad I did!!  We went to two stores and it was slim pickings for shoes, and then to find them in his size...  Back to school had taken everything!  We ended up having to pick up his sister and head to another mall where we did find some shoes to M's liking, and that fit him well.  Thank goodness! 

The next day I just knew, ok I was pretty sure, that the shoe issue was laid to rest and that the end of the day exchange would be successful.  Marshall does have things that trigger him that are repeated time and time again, but in these larger scenarios of serious meltdown, it often doesn't happen twice... at least not over the same issue, or in the same environment even.  At least that is the pattern that I am picking up on thus far.  I was actually in Vancouver that day for an appointment and had arranged for my Mom to pick M up.  We were all a bit nervous after the first day, but he did great with no issues!!  It worked out really well actually, because we got back into town an hour before school was out so my daughter and I headed back and I was able to chat with Mrs. H, Mrs. P, and the Special Ed Coordinator Mrs. E.  She had some concerns about the meltdown on the first day, and wanted to suggest/recommend that perhaps M is simply 'holding it together' for as long as he can, and then explodes at the end of the day, and so she wanted to create breaks in the day for him to go to the Sensory Room.  Honestly, I love my kids' school, and I love those I have worked with thus far in the Special Ed department, but I did not love this idea.  I am thankful that the school supports parents and acknowledges that we know our kid best.  I was actually a little taken aback by this suggestion so quickly, and felt like they were 'giving up' on M far too quickly.  After 2 years in preschool, the second year being 2.5 hours and now K being 3.5 hours, it didn't seem at all like M to say that he was trying so hard to hold it together.  He had had a super successful first day, minus the shoe thing, which was partly my fault in confusing him with shoes he had worn at home in the past.  I always feel awkward when I speak my opinions in these scenarios, but I felt it was important and so I did.  I asked them to put the idea of the Sensory Room on hold for now.  I said that I was not closed off to the idea, but I felt it wasn't necessary, and wanted to see M in the classroom setting as much as possible.  He had had a completely successful Tuesday, and I just knew that it would be ok from this point forward.  Now, I am not trying to knock the Special Ed lady.  I really respect her, and I value her suggestions and opinions, and I am thankful that she cared enough to meet with me and discuss some ideas for moving forward.  It shows that they care... both about me, about M, and about his success at school in an inclusive classroom.  I love that.  And I also love that I feel my own opinions are respected and honored.

We are now nearing the end of October, and the shoes have not been an issue AT ALL.  Marshall, being M, is very independent with going into the classroom and getting ready for class to start, and has 'banned' me from coming along with him.  That is ok!!  I am so proud of him.  I had the chance to volunteer in the classroom last week, and I was so happy to see that M isn't one of the kids that the teacher has to constantly redirect, or get attention from.  He is right in there and eager to learn!! 

A few weeks into the school year, I started to notice that unlike the week prior when I would come to pick M up at noon and see him amongst his peers during centre time, it was becoming a regular thing to be with the teacher doing helpful tasks.  Marshall loves to help, and he is good at it, and direct praise from adults is pretty awesome too :D  I brought this concern up with his EA, and she said that she had noticed he is near the teacher during free play times too, and that she would keep an eye on it.  I asked that they redirect him back to his peers as much as possible, and she said she would definitely do that.  Great!  I left the topic alone with M for the time being, and then spoke with Mrs.P the next day at pickup.  She let me know that she redirected him back to his peers many times, but he would say he didn't want to, or that he was tired, and was then asking when it was time to go home.  Hmmm.  Ok.  So in the car on the way home I start to talk to M about how important it is to play with friends at school, so that we can invite them over for play dates, so that he will get invited to birthday parties... that kind of stuff. 

Marshall gives me a big sigh and says: "But Mom, I want to fink (think) in my own mind".  
Me (interesting...): "You mean you want to play by yourself?" 
Marshall: "Yes... it makes me dizzy playing wif friends."
Me (wow!  nice description!): "Hmmm... well, that's why it is good to practice at school.  Don't you want to have friends like your sister and have them over to play?"
Marshall: "Yes... I have an idela... how about I do a pattern!"
Me: "A pattern?"
Marshall: "Yes!  First I play wif friends, then I play myself, play wif friends, play myself!"
Me (jaw dropped and hiding my shock): "That sounds like a really good way to start, great idea Marshall!"
Marshall: "OK I do dat tomorrow"

Can you believe this kid??!  I was so impressed with his ability to express how hard it is for him to play by telling me he felt dizzy, and then to come up with the IDELA to use a pattern for coping... wow!  As you can imagine, all of the staff involved that I told this to, was so impressed and shocked.  lol.  What GREAT insight M is giving us into understanding how to better help him!

In Marshall's 2 years of preschool and doing phonics, he has not picked up on the letters of the alphabet.  I have been working with him quite a bit, but he often tells me it is too hard for him and he can't learn them.  We are really trying to drill them in during M's therapy time now, and also at home and at school.  It's so interesting... you show him an 'a' and he will say it is for 'apple', but doesn't know what it the letter is called.  I have shown him a 'p' before, and he says 'puh-puh-puh' like the sound, but doesn't know the letter.  For the longest time he would call 's' a snake... of course, this is how I started teaching him, how many parents do and it worked with my daughter well and she dropped the associations over time.  Marshall has hung onto them.  He is now calling and 's' and 's', so it is coming along slowly!  His K teacher starts teaching 'popcorn words' which are the common sight words that 'pop' out at you often in kindergarten level reading.  I have been very curious to see how M does with these sight words, since learning the letters solo has been such a challenge for him. 

A few weeks ago, I was on youtube on our tv so I have to punch the letters in slowly with the remote.  M knew I was trying to spell the word 'fox' as I was looking for a music video that the kids enjoy, and so I punched in 'F', 'O', and then M says, "X comes next".  huh??  I stop and look over to him on the couch and proceed to ask his sister if she told him that, she said no.  I asked him how he knew that and he said "cause dat's how you spell it".  ha!!

The next day M brings me a piece of paper where he has spelled three words:

SEE (the e's are lowercase and backwards)
FOX
ZOO

I know he has been working on 'see' at school, but there is that 'fox' word again, and where did 'zoo' come from? 

Me: "Marshall, did you do this just now?"
Marshall: "Yes"
Me: "Did you copy this from somewhere?"
Marshall: "No, I do it myself!"

So I ask him what the words spell.  He tell me SEE, but when I point to FOX, he doesn't know.  Then I start to sound out the 'f' for a prompt, and he is still lost.  I say the word, and he gets excited that he spelt a word.  Fluke?  I don't think so. 

Me: "Marshall, how did you learn to spell fox?" 
Marshall: "Mom, I see a picture in my mind!" 

Then he proceeds to focus his eyes in one spot as he moves his finger in the air to spell out FOX in capital letters.  Interesting!!!  It was even more interesting to me because the question came up at M's IEP Meeting at the school as to if M explains things often to me without knowing what it's called... when I was asked this and actually thought about it, I did realize that yes, he does do that.  He will draw in the air with his finger, certain lines or circles and tell me "line an a circle... looks red, fuzzy"  that type of stuff.  So, now that I have been made aware of this, I realize that he does this ALL THE TIME.  And now it was just SO COOL to have him actually say the words, without me saying anything about it, that he knew it because he could see a picture in his mind.  WOW!!  I am telling you, it is amazing that Marshall is teaching us how he learns, and how he feels inside, and how helpful that is in teaching him and understanding what makes him tick!

They are starting the K Home Reading Program.  Simple books filled with popcorn words that I remember my daughter reading fluently the first day she brought it home.  Well, I tried with Marshall, this was on Monday, and he just got very angry at me, and was trying to tell me that "I need to repeat after you!!" instead of trying on his own.  It was getting frustrating for both of us, so we put it away and said we would try again tomorrow.  Marshall was upset by this but was ok.  All yesterday he told me that he wanted to practice at bedtime, and that he was going to try "really, really hard a follow (in)structions."  Awesome!  So last night at bed time, I wrote out the 6 popcorn words that they are working on in K, and we practiced those first.  He got 4 out of 6 on the first try!!  Then we opened his story called, "Making a Dinosaur" and tried to read it.  I showed him how the same words pop up on each page, and he followed along with his finger slowly (unlike the day before) and was actually reading the book!!!  I mean, it's simple like "Look at the dinosaur"  "Look at the tail"  and repetitive like that, but he was doing it!!  I was so proud, and he was so excited and proud of himself.  A few times he tried to squeeze the word "dinosaur's" into the sentence, but when I directed his eyes back to the words, I think it started to make sense to him when I told him that word was not on that page.  Then after he completed the book, we went over his 6 popcorn words again... and this time he got ALL 6 of them right!!  wahoo!!!  I am just so thrilled that he cares to try harder, to change his own pull towards bossing me around with how to do these things, to actually listening and learning.    We will see if this continues moving forward... he was mixing up some of the popcorn words today, and one stumped him that he has aced for weeks, but you could see he was really thinking, sorting his thoughts perhaps, to try and produce the correct word.  aww... I love him so much.  He asked me to tell his teachers about how proud I was of him today at school, and that is just what I did, and he just beamed from ear to ear.  Love it. 

Last Friday was Fall Leaves Day in Kindergarten.  Because it was a special day, I cancelled his therapy after the teacher supported M staying the whole day (without an aide in the afternoon).  I said I would volunteer to help out for that time frame so it all worked out.  We took all of the kids for a walk to a nearby park that was filled with leaves, and the kids brought rakes and cleared the pathways.  Marshall did great and was quite meticulous in his method of clearing (proud Grandpa i'm sure).  On the walk back, one boy in particular, who the EA said has not been one to typically flock to M, wanted to walk with him.  M was at the end of the flock with the aide and myself, and it was so sweet to see this boy constantly seeking out Marshall.  The problem?  Marshall was rejecting the invite.  boo!!  Both the EA and myself kept talking to M about this little boy, encouraging him to accept his invite to walk together.  Eventually, we got him to run ahead and walk with this friend which was great.  It was another picture of just how much avoidance there is for M at times.   We got back to class where the kids had hotdogs and cookies, and then all of the parents left and the kids went outside for lunch break.  I stayed to help, and did see that on the playground, 90% of the time M played completely independently, while all of the other children had small groups and were en  gaged with one another.  I know that he does have supervision on the playground, however I wonder if he is getting much guidance (or if that is even something they can do) in directing him to join others in play.  Might just have to volunteer over the lunch time in the future!  The bell goes and M does not follow the other kids back in, but one boy comes over to him and shouts, "Marshall Hiebert let's go!"  haha!  There are 2 Marshall's in his class, so all the kids know his last name, and Marshall now says he has a new name called "Marshall H."  lol. 

We go back to class and they do sharing, and then some coloring and math work.  I am assigned to the table of kids who needs extra help, and M is with me.  I have to send him back over to Mrs. H a few times because he wants to do his own instructions, and not follow mine, although they are Mrs. H's instructions.  lol.  Suddenly about an hour into work time, M starts to get upset and asking the teacher, "When is snickle-snack?".  This is what Mrs. H calls snack time.  She is explaining to him that we already had snack in the morning, but he thinks we are forgetting to have it.  Then a little while later he starts to get panicky and interrupting Mrs. H to tell her that we "agot (forgot) to do our journals!!"  She reminds him that we don't do journals every day, and that today we had a special day so we don't have time.  He starts to cry a bit and is frustrated.  Then he starts to tell (shout) Mrs. H, "Next time we need a do a day backwards."  She looked over at me and we realized that it seemed as though M started the day fresh after lunch break (I normally take him home at that time), and now this mixed up day was not following typical pattern.  Interesting.  And here I thought he would be so thrilled to stay the whole day, as often he is upset when I come to get him and wants to stay with the other kids.  I totally thought he would've been ok with this adjustment, and although he didn't have a big meltdown over it, you could see he was confused and frustrated with the change. 

Yesterday when I picked up Marshall, the kids were all working together during free play to make Noah's Ark, and his EA told me that M was totally involved and having great peer play!!  M was in charge of the animals :)  So great to hear.  It will be interesting to see how these next few months play out with his academic learning, as well as his social interaction with his peers.  We did have an IEP (Individual Education Plan) for Marshall and I hope that the goals we made for him are obtainable.  At report card time, he will get 2 report cards, one based on academics for K level, and one based off of his IEP goals.  Marshall has an adapted program, which means that he is at the same academic grade level as his peers, but may have some adaptations (such as extra time for completion, ore explanation, ipad use, less questions).  Other children on an IEP can have a modified program which would be for a child who is working below grade level in certain areas where the goal then, is to see progress started at the level they are at.  Any child with a diagnosis is on an IEP, and falls under either a modified or adapted program, and often just in specific subjects and not as a whole.  Right now Marshall's program is adapted, but they may shift into modified at some point down the line. 

And... that's a wrap!!