About a year and half ago, i was talking with one of the professionals working with Marshall about some struggles we were having with his behaviour. He had very little language and minimal comprehention at 3 years old, and we had a lot of tantrum behaviour, as well as a lot of pestering (mostly toward Devyn and his girl cousins his age). I had been trying to do some time outs, but the woman i was speaking to told me that often kids with ASD don't have the comprehensive skills to understand what it is i am trying to do, and will also forget very quickly why they are on a time out, and therefore time outs just don't work. I remember her smiling, I think it was Janel from NSAP actually, and asking me, "So how are the time outs working for you?". I laughed and said, "they're not". I'm not sure if it was Janel the first time, but i had this Triple P parenting class brought up to me a couple of times over the past year or so.
Triple P Stepping Stones is a parenting class that helps parents with kids who have special needs. There is a Triple P (no stepping stones) that is based on typical kids with behavioural issues. Stepping Stones runs once a year (maybe twice) through FVCDC here in Abbotsford. Kim is the contact person and she had phoned me after our CDC rep brought our family to her attention. The course is a 9 week commitment with 5 evenings in class and runs from 6-8:30pm. The cost is $20 and you get a work book along with the course. My husband wasn't getting home from work until 7:30pm last year, so it was just too much to ask of my family to help me out. As you know from following this blog, Marshall has come leaps and bounds over the past year and a half. Behaviours at home are manageable and we have re-introduced time outs with him over the past few months (Super Nanny style... minutes per age, hugs and sorrys afterwards) with his language and comprehension increasing and they have been working pretty well. So when Kim phoned me in August about the upcoming course this fall, i didn't really feel like i needed it anymore. I talked it over with my husband and he figured since his new job allows for him to be home before dinner time, i should just do it. This was around the same time that the topic of me going back to school to do the EA Program had come up, so i figured even just to have a Special Needs related certificate to put on my resume wouldn't hurt. (I have come to find out that they will be introducing this program into the schools in the near future, so i will be ahead of the game:)) Also, i enjoy building relationships in my ASD community using my experiences and knowledge from them, and figured perhaps i could use what i learn in this course to help others. Yes, i am aware that i sound super high on myself with this last statement. lol. I am not a perfect parent at all, but i did feel confident about the parenting that was happening currently in my home :)
The group of parents taking this class has a mix of different special needs with their children. There are about 8 of us in total including 2 women teaching the course, so it is a nice small setting that is super interactive and everyone can share openly. I sat down and recieved my book where the title states 'Triple P Positive Parenting Solutions'. I laughed to myself as i now realized that this course would be about positive parenting and thinking it funny that i never asked what Triple P even stood for. lol. I really feel like i am a positive parent. I started to wonder what the heck i was even doing here, that maybe this would all be a big waste of time. As a group we brainstormed some words that were written on the white board about what it feels like to be a parent. When the first words that were mentioned by others were: Exausted. Draining. Stressful. I thought, oh man, this is going to be really depressing before it gets better!! These words coming from these defeated men and woman were heartbreaking, but i could totally relate based on where i was a year or so ago. Yes, parenting can be all those things, but the first words that came to my mind were Rewarding and Purposeful, which i did share with the group. The course follows a video series as well and after the first 3 classes, i felt like i was an instructor in the course. I knew all of this stuff already, and like the teachers of the course, i just fail at times with actually implimenting what i know. I found myself carefully offering advice to some of the parents in situations which was kinda fun. Having gone through some of their struggles and seen success, it was rewarding to be able to contribute ideas and suggestions. The videos and discussion did offer some reminders of things i could tweek in my own parenting as well.
So, 'Mrs. I know Everything' (me) had everything crumble down on week 4 when the topic of time outs was introduced. lol. It was quite humbling. Apparently time outs are only to be used as a last resort. 'Quiet time' is the preferred discipline which is a new idea i hadn't heard of. Basically it is just sitting the child (after a warning but behaviour continues) in a spot in the same room where the behaviour happened and allowing for them to be quiet for about a minute. The course teaches that if the child is not cooperating in Queit time, that a Time out follows. Time outs should only be for a couple of minutes, not based on the childs age. When the time out has ended, there is to be no discussion except to tell the child that their time out is over. Huh. Well, i threw in my opinions and had a decent discussion with Kim trying to defend the fact that i feel discussion after a timeout is a positive thing. Marshall apologizes to me and hugs me, and i remind him about the bad behavoiur and remind him to make better choices next time, and also if he hurt someone else in the process, he is to go to them and apologize as soon as the time out is over. Marshall does all of this willingly and does not go back to repeating unwanted behaviours afterwards.
What Triple P teaches is that bringing up the 'bad behaviour' in discussion after a time out has been completed, is bringing up negativity. If i desire Marshall to apologize to me, or to his sister, i should do any talking right in the moment prior to bringing him into a time out area. Then, since there is nothing to talk about after the time out is over, it is the goal to pay close attention to your child directly after they come back into normal play, and be sure to praise any positive play (especially if they are sharing now, when before they weren't). This will make the child feel proud of their change in actions. Naturally, we all seek praise and thrive off of it, adults and kids. Ok, so all of this made sense to me and so i decided to switch it up. Oh, and i had also shared with the class that often all i needed to say was, "Marshall, do you need to go for a time out?" to get his behaviour to change. My thought was that i am asking him to make a more conscious choice about whether or not he should continue the behaviour, or if he needs to remove himself to calm down. But i was told nicely that what i am doing is simply threatening him. lol... and yeah, i guess i kinda was!
So, i have stopped asking/threatening Marshall on the time outs. I have introduced Quiet time. There has been a lot more that i've learned, or been reminded of, such as how i ask M to complete a task. My tone, my eye contact with him, giving him more 'mommy time'. I have been more cautious of what I am doing and saying, and it has made a difference :)
During our last (well 5th, so last class before the 3 week break) class, we were introduced to Planned Activities Routines. The instructors were quite excited and told us several times how this is their highlighted teaching point of the entire thing. Basically, it's figuring out what are some 'high risk' scenarios with your child, and then breaking down the leading up to the scenarios in order to better prepare ourselves, and our child for what's to come, in hopes of having greater success. So, for me right off the bat, i really only had one thing stick out to me that i would consider high risk, and that was having newer friends in our home or backyard and Marshall having to share the space and his toys. My mind went back to the gathering with some old friends and their kids and the disaster that that playdate was for Marshall this past summer. Some other scenarios that parents said were shopping, leaving playdates, playdates in general, keeping their kids occupied while their other children are involved in sporting activities. As a class, we broke down 2 mom's scenarios and everyone pitched in their ideas of how to make them a success. It was fun!! And i think we all came away feeling hope and ready to tackle our own high risk tasks!
After coming home and thinking about it some more, i came up with a high risk scenario that i don't even think about anymore, because it was so high risk, that we just stopped doing it! And that was allowing for Devyn to have a friend over for a playdate. She understands that things are complicated and is ok with going into other peoples homes for playdates, but really, it is something that she should be able to do. So during my home phone call from Kim a few days later, i shared with her that this was the scenario that i was going to tackle with Marshall. She was fully in support of this and together we came up with a plan to prepare Marshall for it. In the past, i would continue to do household things and just let Devyn know that it was best if she tried to include Marshall or he would scream the whole time. lol. Seriously though. Now remember, that was over a year ago when we tried a few times. I remember seeing her friends' faces as they were annoyed with M and his invasive and directive play. Devyn didn't mind as she is just used to having him around, but it upset me to see it, so we just stopped entirely.
So the plan was to give Marshall lots of warning both the day before, as well as the morning of the playdate. The warnings were actually upsetting him, so i backed off on them. I chose to have my one niece come over during our experiment rather than a new friend into the home. What this entire success story really depended on, was my involvement during the playdate time. In the past i would try to distract M with tv or a movie, and it never worked. The key to making these high risk scenarios successful is to do something new, something your child doesn't get to do often, something they would look forward to. And all the while, getting to spend some one on one time with you which is often its own greatest reward for the child (and for you i discovered :)) So i decided to bake cookies with Marshall.
The playdate was scheduled for a 2 hour period. Marshall was a tad upset about not getting to play in the bedroom with the girls (the rule for the girls was they had to play in the bedroom), but he got over it quickly when i started hunting and needed help to find all of the ingredients on our list from the kitchen. He did ask about the girls a few times throughout the cookie time, but i just said they were playing and Marshall was with Mommy. He didn't press more. I had also decided to make a tea party setting at the table and invite the girls to come and join us for cookies and tea once they were done. Marshall really enjoyed setting the table nice, and we added some candles which for M meant turning all of the lights out in the house :) During the baking time, i had planned to pull out the game Memory which i know he likes as he plays it with Nana often. He was into it for a brief period of time but then was being silly and not playing correctly. I decided to use the images to quiz him and to work on his speech, and he was into that so we went through all of the cards like that. It was really great to hear some of his blends that we work on daily, actually come out naturally during this activitiy without a prompt! Then when we were done, i pulled out Jenga, the block building game...'you take a block from the middle and you put it on top' :) M was really loving this game, and he even followed the rules by taking turns and rolling the dice that decided the color he had to choose, which surprised me. It was a lot of fun and we laughed a lot together... he's such a funny guy. The whole 2 hours was a success, and it was so encouraging to me to know that with a little planning and effort on my part, Devyn's world doesn't have to be altered.
You know, often when i choose to spend time with my kids at home, it's 5 minutes here or there. There is nothing wrong with that, actually, even 30 seconds of positive attention at a time throughout the day is huge for kids (promoted at Triple P). I have sat down and colored with both the kids for a longer length of time, or played a game with both of the little ones, and from time to time i will engage in hide and seek for about half an hour. But this day, setting up a full 2 hours just to spend with my son was a change, and it was amazing. When in my own head i had decided that the task was, 'successful playdate for Devyn', and my only job was to keep Marshall engaged, all of the other distractions (housework mainly) weren't even an option for me. They were not a thought in my head. I could be the Mom i wanted to be with Marshall in those two hours and i tell you, he totally ate it up. Now i know that in the future, playdates are possible for Devyn, and now Marshall will know that he gets me all to himself, and that that is way more fun than bugging Devyn and her friend :)
Things at home have been wonderful. Marshall is listening better... this was usually what the time outs were for in the past. But i know that he is listening better, because i am asking better. I am so thankful for Triple P and for Kim and Bernadette and that courses like this are offered right here in my own community. Signing up for a class like this can often shout, "I am a bad parent" "I have lost all control over my children" "Help! I have reached rock bottom." Lol. And this is embarassing and hard to admit. But I laugh because in the past, i would have judged any one of my friends or family who had signed up for a class such as this. But, then you grow up, and you show up, and you mature as a parent. You come to realize that you are far from perfect. You want to do what's best for your kids... and sometimes we need to be taught how to do that.... even when we think we know it all already. I have no shame in reaching out and accepting help, in changing the course i was on to better the life of my kids and of my own. Learning is growing, and just because we are adults, doesn't mean we know everything. I believe there is always opportunity to learn... and old dog can learn new tricks!! And as you can see, my willingness to be open to learning has benefitted not only those around me, but me, myself and i :)
Monday, November 5, 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
School in 2013
We were at my parents place for lunch this past Sunday and my brother BJ mentioned 2 things:
One, my blogs posts have been lacking, and when i do post they are always an overview of the past several months. True. I miss writing in the moment as each adventure takes place, but i just can't seem to find the time to sit down and get it out soon after, and the more time that passes the more it feels like i can't talk in the moment. Perhaps it was more enjoyable to read my posts as i wrote them before? I don't know. Definitely more detail than what i have been doing lately. Perhaps this can be a new years goal? lol. Well, for now, this is just practical for me... and this time it's only a month and a half! I have 3 different topics that i will be posting in the next few days so they are more specific :)
Two, my brother mentioned that when i do post, his name is never mentioned. lol. Well BJ, here you are, my opening act!! hmmm... perhaps i should say something nice about him? He is 26 years old, tall, dark and handsome, and available!!!! He has a steady job and his 'own' place. He's smart, funny, and musically talented!! Any girl would be so blessed to be a part of my family, we are the best!! haha. Ok, i feel this is satistfactory. I'm sure this is exactly how you were hoping to be mentioned BJ, so, you're welcome! lol. Moving on...
Now, if you are wondering if you are reading the right blog i will confirm that yes, yes you are! This blog is about Marshall, my 4.5 year old son who falls on the Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). I often state that Marshall has 'Autism', because people understand that (kinda), but the Autism Spectrum was layed out like this for me when M was diagnosed:
*Aspergers - severe social struggle, normal language and learning (often very smart)
*PDD-NOS (Pervasive Development Disorder- Not otherwise stated) - basically it doesn't fit into either of the other two catergories.
*Autism (classic Autism) - you will see the most symptoms in this diagnosis such as hand flapping, rocking, stemming, social struggle, little to no language
Marshall falls under PDD-NOS... so i suppose i should say that he falls under the ASD, rather than just "He has Autism", but like i said, the word Autism is more easily understood by others. By saying what i often do, i am actually making Marshall's diagnosis more extreme than need be with these catergories. Goes to show how much more people need to be informed. A lot of people in my ASD circles knock the Autism Speaks campaign as they feel all the money just goes to publicity rather than actually helping the kids through therapy or whatever. But i feel like someone has to be the social and public face of awareness. I try to do my part in my community, but they do it globally which is great.
Last blog post i left off that i was heading to Marshall's preschool (Abby Christian) to speak with the Principal to discuss options for Marshall for Kindergarden next fall. It seems so early to be thinking about next fall, but being in a private school, i need to make my decision in the New Year so he's registered where i want him to be. Basically, the Principal told me that the preschool teachers that Marshall has now, along with their Special Needs Coordinator person at the school (who is apparently amazing), the Principal, and myself will all sit down to discuss Marshall at some point in the New Year. I am supposed to hand over all of Marshall's paperwork (I can't imagine that they actually mean ALL of it, there is a LOT) to the SN chick and then they will inform me as to their recommendation for how much extra support M will need. Due to the fact that Marshall has been managing with a shared aide in preschool, i doubt he will get full support moving forward. I have been told by several professionals that having a shared aide, if you're child manages alright, is really ideal as it allows for the child to be more independent, and less dependent on the aide for every little thing. This makes sense to me.
At our school, i have the option of part-time K which is what we did for Marshall's sister last year and it worked well. It was Tuesdays and Thursdays all day, and about 1 extra Monday per month. The Principal explained to me that with SN kids they offer to the parents to pay for part-time tuition, but then have the child come every day until around 11am. They find that our kids need consistancy but struggle with the length of all day. I can see that. Then of course i have the option of just putting M in full-time Kindergarden. I will weigh the opinions of the staff at the school of course, but i feel like Marshall is ready for full-time. He is doing 2 schools per day totalling 4.5 hours some days, and loving it. Socially, i think it would be great for M to be in school every day all day. I spoke with the little boys Mom with whom Marshall shares and aide right now, and she is putting her son in full days next year. She has other SN children in the school and so she knows who she wants to request for an EA and to have our boys together as they have worked well so far. I think i will go along with this plan, unless suggested otherwise.
The other thing i need to consider is Marshall's Next Step Autism Program. Because his birthday is in May, he will have the full funding during his whole year (minus June) of Kindergarden. There is a time slot from 3-5pm at NSAP, but to ask Marshall to do 8 hours of school per day at the age of 5 just seems insane, and i don't feel is in his best interest. Janel (NSAP) let me know that they would work with our family to customize Marshall's schedule to how we see best. She let me know that some families just opt to have her come into the classroom on a monthly basis to do an assesment and then relate her directions to the aide at the school. Then there's the social group at NS which is for 6 and over and happens one day per week for 2 hours. I had thought that this would be a good option for Marshall (i may have misunderstood Janel, but i thought she suggested at one point that M could attend next year), but i recently had someone who knows the program suggest to me that Marshall's social skills are coming along well, and that if he stays on the same progress track, that he will not need the social program. This was encouraging to hear!! I know his speech will be the main struggle for Marshall always, despite how much he is improving daily, and i am happy to know that i can use the funding after he turns 6 (will drop from the current $22,000 yearly to $6000 yearly) in a very focused way. I am also thrilled to learn that the SLP (Speech) that we love is also listed under ACT (a list that us parents have to choose from if we desire to hire independently for therapy) and that the option might be there to pursue that during his K year, and/or afterwards.
So as of right now, without having discussed any concrete options with either school, i'm feeling like we will put Marshall into full-time Kindergarden. If possible, i'd like to pull him out at noon on 2 of the days of the week (tues and thurs perhaps) to attend NSAP during the afternoon timeslot (maybe doing 4 hours on these 2 days instead of just 2), and then if possible, attend NS on Pro-D days and other holidays (Christmas and Spring Break) when they are still running and regular school is not. We shall see in the next couple of months how this all plays out :)
On a different note...This all came up very suddenly (early September), but has now all been confirmed... I have been accepted into the EA (Educational Assistant) Program at CBC (Columbia Bible College)!!!! I will focus on Autism and working with kids under this diagnosis, naturally, as i am somewhat of an expert ;) haha. I am very excited about this!! I did not do any post education after highschool. My only 'career dreams' were to be a Mom, and i love being one. I have also loved helping out in Devyn's classroom both last year and this year. My husband and i have discussed over the years a few options about what i could do once the kids are both in school full-time, but going back to school was never one of them. My husband suggested that i look into this course a couple of months ago as he felt i would be good at it, and it would coincide with the kids' school schedule. I was flattered that he suggested it, and have been overwhelmed by the support from my family and friends since pursing it. What an unexpected adventure!! God has a plan... i live by this. How neat that He chose to use my special needs son to grow me and mould me into someone who doesn't fear, but who has a heart for these special kids and what they have to offer our world.
During my talk with the Principal in regards to Marshall, i spoke with him about my plans to look into going back to school. His face lit up and he said that often it is parents or those with family members with special needs who get into this kind of work later on in life. He recommended two schools to obtain my certification and i chose the local one. He also encouraged me to do my practicum at the school. Awesome!! At this point in time, i really only desire to work at Abby Christian where my kids are at. The EA Program is a part-time 1 year program which is probably manageble to most people. I am choosing to make sure i succeed and do not become overwhelmed, and am going to stretch it out over a year and a half starting in January :) I am attending an Educators Conference following some workshops at CBC over the next month to get some specifics on SN teaching and EA before i get into the full swing of school and am looking foward to it!
Have a great day :)
One, my blogs posts have been lacking, and when i do post they are always an overview of the past several months. True. I miss writing in the moment as each adventure takes place, but i just can't seem to find the time to sit down and get it out soon after, and the more time that passes the more it feels like i can't talk in the moment. Perhaps it was more enjoyable to read my posts as i wrote them before? I don't know. Definitely more detail than what i have been doing lately. Perhaps this can be a new years goal? lol. Well, for now, this is just practical for me... and this time it's only a month and a half! I have 3 different topics that i will be posting in the next few days so they are more specific :)
Two, my brother mentioned that when i do post, his name is never mentioned. lol. Well BJ, here you are, my opening act!! hmmm... perhaps i should say something nice about him? He is 26 years old, tall, dark and handsome, and available!!!! He has a steady job and his 'own' place. He's smart, funny, and musically talented!! Any girl would be so blessed to be a part of my family, we are the best!! haha. Ok, i feel this is satistfactory. I'm sure this is exactly how you were hoping to be mentioned BJ, so, you're welcome! lol. Moving on...
Now, if you are wondering if you are reading the right blog i will confirm that yes, yes you are! This blog is about Marshall, my 4.5 year old son who falls on the Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). I often state that Marshall has 'Autism', because people understand that (kinda), but the Autism Spectrum was layed out like this for me when M was diagnosed:
*Aspergers - severe social struggle, normal language and learning (often very smart)
*PDD-NOS (Pervasive Development Disorder- Not otherwise stated) - basically it doesn't fit into either of the other two catergories.
*Autism (classic Autism) - you will see the most symptoms in this diagnosis such as hand flapping, rocking, stemming, social struggle, little to no language
Marshall falls under PDD-NOS... so i suppose i should say that he falls under the ASD, rather than just "He has Autism", but like i said, the word Autism is more easily understood by others. By saying what i often do, i am actually making Marshall's diagnosis more extreme than need be with these catergories. Goes to show how much more people need to be informed. A lot of people in my ASD circles knock the Autism Speaks campaign as they feel all the money just goes to publicity rather than actually helping the kids through therapy or whatever. But i feel like someone has to be the social and public face of awareness. I try to do my part in my community, but they do it globally which is great.
Last blog post i left off that i was heading to Marshall's preschool (Abby Christian) to speak with the Principal to discuss options for Marshall for Kindergarden next fall. It seems so early to be thinking about next fall, but being in a private school, i need to make my decision in the New Year so he's registered where i want him to be. Basically, the Principal told me that the preschool teachers that Marshall has now, along with their Special Needs Coordinator person at the school (who is apparently amazing), the Principal, and myself will all sit down to discuss Marshall at some point in the New Year. I am supposed to hand over all of Marshall's paperwork (I can't imagine that they actually mean ALL of it, there is a LOT) to the SN chick and then they will inform me as to their recommendation for how much extra support M will need. Due to the fact that Marshall has been managing with a shared aide in preschool, i doubt he will get full support moving forward. I have been told by several professionals that having a shared aide, if you're child manages alright, is really ideal as it allows for the child to be more independent, and less dependent on the aide for every little thing. This makes sense to me.
At our school, i have the option of part-time K which is what we did for Marshall's sister last year and it worked well. It was Tuesdays and Thursdays all day, and about 1 extra Monday per month. The Principal explained to me that with SN kids they offer to the parents to pay for part-time tuition, but then have the child come every day until around 11am. They find that our kids need consistancy but struggle with the length of all day. I can see that. Then of course i have the option of just putting M in full-time Kindergarden. I will weigh the opinions of the staff at the school of course, but i feel like Marshall is ready for full-time. He is doing 2 schools per day totalling 4.5 hours some days, and loving it. Socially, i think it would be great for M to be in school every day all day. I spoke with the little boys Mom with whom Marshall shares and aide right now, and she is putting her son in full days next year. She has other SN children in the school and so she knows who she wants to request for an EA and to have our boys together as they have worked well so far. I think i will go along with this plan, unless suggested otherwise.
The other thing i need to consider is Marshall's Next Step Autism Program. Because his birthday is in May, he will have the full funding during his whole year (minus June) of Kindergarden. There is a time slot from 3-5pm at NSAP, but to ask Marshall to do 8 hours of school per day at the age of 5 just seems insane, and i don't feel is in his best interest. Janel (NSAP) let me know that they would work with our family to customize Marshall's schedule to how we see best. She let me know that some families just opt to have her come into the classroom on a monthly basis to do an assesment and then relate her directions to the aide at the school. Then there's the social group at NS which is for 6 and over and happens one day per week for 2 hours. I had thought that this would be a good option for Marshall (i may have misunderstood Janel, but i thought she suggested at one point that M could attend next year), but i recently had someone who knows the program suggest to me that Marshall's social skills are coming along well, and that if he stays on the same progress track, that he will not need the social program. This was encouraging to hear!! I know his speech will be the main struggle for Marshall always, despite how much he is improving daily, and i am happy to know that i can use the funding after he turns 6 (will drop from the current $22,000 yearly to $6000 yearly) in a very focused way. I am also thrilled to learn that the SLP (Speech) that we love is also listed under ACT (a list that us parents have to choose from if we desire to hire independently for therapy) and that the option might be there to pursue that during his K year, and/or afterwards.
So as of right now, without having discussed any concrete options with either school, i'm feeling like we will put Marshall into full-time Kindergarden. If possible, i'd like to pull him out at noon on 2 of the days of the week (tues and thurs perhaps) to attend NSAP during the afternoon timeslot (maybe doing 4 hours on these 2 days instead of just 2), and then if possible, attend NS on Pro-D days and other holidays (Christmas and Spring Break) when they are still running and regular school is not. We shall see in the next couple of months how this all plays out :)
On a different note...This all came up very suddenly (early September), but has now all been confirmed... I have been accepted into the EA (Educational Assistant) Program at CBC (Columbia Bible College)!!!! I will focus on Autism and working with kids under this diagnosis, naturally, as i am somewhat of an expert ;) haha. I am very excited about this!! I did not do any post education after highschool. My only 'career dreams' were to be a Mom, and i love being one. I have also loved helping out in Devyn's classroom both last year and this year. My husband and i have discussed over the years a few options about what i could do once the kids are both in school full-time, but going back to school was never one of them. My husband suggested that i look into this course a couple of months ago as he felt i would be good at it, and it would coincide with the kids' school schedule. I was flattered that he suggested it, and have been overwhelmed by the support from my family and friends since pursing it. What an unexpected adventure!! God has a plan... i live by this. How neat that He chose to use my special needs son to grow me and mould me into someone who doesn't fear, but who has a heart for these special kids and what they have to offer our world.
During my talk with the Principal in regards to Marshall, i spoke with him about my plans to look into going back to school. His face lit up and he said that often it is parents or those with family members with special needs who get into this kind of work later on in life. He recommended two schools to obtain my certification and i chose the local one. He also encouraged me to do my practicum at the school. Awesome!! At this point in time, i really only desire to work at Abby Christian where my kids are at. The EA Program is a part-time 1 year program which is probably manageble to most people. I am choosing to make sure i succeed and do not become overwhelmed, and am going to stretch it out over a year and a half starting in January :) I am attending an Educators Conference following some workshops at CBC over the next month to get some specifics on SN teaching and EA before i get into the full swing of school and am looking foward to it!
Have a great day :)
Friday, September 14, 2012
Can you spell 'Marshall'? ok!
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| A few months ago, i sat down with Marshall and tried to get him to write out his name. I thought i'd start by making a dotted tracing line for 'M', so i did. Marshall went on his own piece of paper and started to draw a dotted 'M'. Then when i showed him how to trace the line, he yelled at me and didn't like that, so i dropped it. Then at Marshall's preschool meeting, one of the teachers said, "I bet Marshall know's 'M' by now since he was drawing them already last year." hmmm... I hadn't been trying with him, so i just casually changed the subject. lol. Then when i came home, i asked Marshall what the first letter in his name was. He seemed confused by my question, but invited me to come and sit and the table with him cause he wanted to write his name!! So, I wrote out his name (all uppercase) and he watched me. Then he picked up his crayon, and did it himself... like he'd been doing it for a year already!!! what the?? The next day i had him try his name again, but with appropriate lowercase letters. He complied and did it almost perfect. Seriously??! This kid is so full of surprises... it's just always in his own time :) |
 |
| I failed to mention in my summer post that we made it to the beach as well last weekend... just squeezed it in!! White Rock is always an enjoyable day and i am glad that we were able to go again this year. Marshall was a little 'wild' for the first while as we tried to show him how cool it was to make rivers and let the water flow through. My parents joined us as well. By the end (of course) Marshall was having fun and then it was over as the tide came in. lol. Fish and chips for lunch, and feeding the seagulls the leftovers. A great day of shell hunting, river building, and walking in the cool water. So relaxing. |
Summer review and back to school!
Sepetmeber. It came fast this year! We had a great summer. Marshall took part in a VBS program which is a Vacation Bible School week where he attended for 3 hours each day at a local church. His sister went last year and had a great week, so in spring, i approached the children's ministry coordinator and asked if she thought they could take Marshall on this year. She went ahead and asked her sister, who happens to be a TA and who has worked with many autistic children, to work with Marshall for the week! I had said that i thought he would be ok as long as he had an extra (even a youth girl) assigned to him. But it was great that Betty volunteered and had a great week with Marshall. She commented at the end of the week that she really didn't even need to be there. lol. She was quite impressed with Marshall and his ability to adjust and his excitement and involvement in each station. I decided to volunteer my time, since both the little kids were able to be involved, to be a Crew Leader for the week at VBS. It was so wonderful being able to get involved in such a great program, and also to watch my kids grow in their faith and make new friends. I used to be really involved in my church and in all of the kids programs, and over the years i have had to step back quite a lot to meet Marshall's needs, and that has been hard. It was a huge blessing to be able to give back, and to have people step forward so i could. God paved the way and we were all blessed by that week and are looking forward to being involved again next summer!
Over the summer, Marshall quickly adjusted to swimming. If you recall, last summer it took several visits to my Uncles pool before i could get Marshall to understand that this was supposed to be fun. lol. But this summer, after not having swam at all over winter, it only took him about half an hour poolside before he got in and starting swimming around (with his life jacket and floaty ring). By the end of the summer, Marshall had ditched the floaty ring and became somewhat comfortable kicking around with just his life jacket on. He is very aware of how close the water is to his face without the floaty ring on, so he does hold on to his life jacket for dear life as he kicks around the pool. lol. He was so proud of himself :)
We had a bit of a set back with our pool (just a 3 footer) at home after a bouncy ball accidentally fell into the pool and sunk to the bottom when the kids were not in it. Marshall lost it. He was so panicky and yelling, and for quite a while after it happened, he would go into freak-out mode any time any toys were near the pool. We had some friends over who had toys in the pool... that did not go over well. I couldn't reason with M, it was totally out of his day to day character and he was just screaming and crying and begging the kids to get the toys (and the kids themselves) out of the pool. Stressful. But, the very next day, I called up my sister and had my 2 nieces who are my kids' age come over, with the understanding that we were going to help Marshall overcome this obstacle. I knew it would be a challenge, but i also knew that if i allowed for him to continue to lose it on everybody, it would escalade. So i talked to Marshall, and we did it slowly and in steps, and after an hour or so of him getting upset and the girls all cooperating with my instructions, Marshall actually got IN the pool and swan around himself. Mission accomplished!!
We bought the kids new bikes this summer, Marshall's first bike! At Toys R Us a few months back, we approached the bike section where Marshall proceeded to get onto one and ride around the store like a pro (with training wheels, but still)! Lol. It was so weird. He was so happy on that bike. We only bought the bikes mid-August, so the kids haven't been on them too much, a handful of times. Marshall loves riding it and asks constantly. They also have a bike at NSAP that he chooses for his reward often :)
The only challenge we face with the bike at home, is that Marshall has become very aware of the cars (even the ones at the end of our street going the other way), and is constantly yelling out "car" when there isn't one. lol. He is just seeing them at the end of the road, not coming his way. Of course, we are trying to teach the kids to go to the side of the road and to stop riding if a car is actually coming, and perhaps our voices have sounded urgent at times and that freaks him out. Or, perhaps Marshall's obsession with Kermit the Frog getting hit by a car in Muppets Take Manhatten (the kids' new fav movie) has him mulling it over a lot. lol. I know, it's bad. haha.
We took our first real family vacation this summer!! Two nights away to Lynnwood (just outside of Seattle) and we took the kids to the Seattle zoo! This was actually the first zoo visit for the little kids. It was great! I should add first, that Marshall had his first sleepover (followed by several others) at my parents place over the summer and it was a huge success!! So huge, that Marshall doesn't want to live here anymore and is constantly asking to go to "Nana house a (s)leepover" lol. So, we knew Marshall would have successful sleeping in the hotel room next to Devyn, which he did :) The weather was beautiful and the trip was fun! We went with my sister and her family, as well as with my parents. It was a tad busy with all of the shopping everyone wanted to fit in, so busy, that we actually tried to stay an extra night, but the hotel was booked. Marshall loves to talk about the trip to the zoo. The clarity of his words is getting better and better each day, and he is working really hard at NSAP to get some functioning sentences together. If you ask Marshall about the zoo, he will say, "see monkeys (not "gunkies!"), a see giraffes, see (p)enguins, a see mangos (flamingos ;)), a see birds, see elephants, see drunks (trunks on the elephants- lol)" I love hearing him talk about the things he enjoyed seeing.
Marshall is starting to volunteer a lot of information as well, which is wonderful. Last year, he never talked about friends names, or even teachers really, and if i tried to ask him what he did today, he mostly focused on what snack he had. This year, he is telling me stories about how at NSAP, "Krish (a boy his age) a (s)mash-ed a doll house. Patty say no, no Krish." HA! Since telling me this story, and perhaps my laughter that followed, he has repeated this story to me several times. I'm just so happy that he is taking things that happen earlier in the day, and voluntarily talking to me about them!! The staff at NSAP was all laughing when i asked them about this story the next day, and they did confirm that that story did happen. haha. Marshall is talking about his friends at home, and his teachers by name now. The info he is trying to get across is not always clear to me, but i'm happy that he is trying :)
I had a meeting with Marshall's preschool teachers just before school started. This almost never happens, but Marshall has been paired up with the same autistic boy as last year, and they have the same aide! He is doing 3 days a week for 2.5 hours each day this year. I am so happy that we got our desired spot at NSAP in the 12:45-2:45 time slot, allowing for him to do both programs :) He loves preschool. Each day he is eager to go, and when i pick him up, he doesn't want to leave! Last year he would run to me smiling and shouting, "Mommy!". Now he slumps down and starts to cry about leaving. I love that he loves preschool, but hey, give your mother some love child!! ;) lol. Overall, it is nice to see how much he loves school and learning, and it just tells me that next year when he enters Kindergarden, he will be more than ready for it.
Just had my meeting with the NSAP (Next Step Autism Program) team yesterday for Marshall's yearly review and IEP (Individual Education Plan) for the year ahead. Janel (program coordinator and Behavoiur Consultant), Laura (Speech) and Carla (senior Behaviour Interventionist)) all sat down with me to go over Marshall's plan. I am so excited! Marshall has done awesome over the past year, and the updated chart of progress more than doubles where he started a year ago!! Janel stated that it was just so fun to update it. Marshall is so determined to learn and seems to just soak up everything that they throw his way. Laura shared of a time when she had to clean up with him and he was shouting, "no! more!" cause he was just loving the excersize. How awesome is that??! Most of Marshall's goals are speech and social related, which i am in full support of. It was great to have Laura challenge one of the goals of 100 items, up to 250 because she feels Marshall can handle it. I am in agreeance! Push him as long as he's allowing us to!!! It was such a positive meeting, and i am excited for the year ahead. There are no goals for Marshall as far as fine and gross motor skills go as he is above average in those areas, as well as self-help areas. Is am so hopeful that he will continue to come leaps and bounds over the next year with such a focused program!
Well, i am out the door now to meet with the school's principal to discuss some options for Marshall for next year. I spoke with Janel about some options through her program (as well as other routes) for next year, so now i need to gather all of the information and make a decision by January!! Because Marshall is in a private school, i will need to register him with a tuition plan in place by February, so i don't have until after summer to figure this all. That's ok, because i love having a plan to get excited about!!
Until next time... :)
Over the summer, Marshall quickly adjusted to swimming. If you recall, last summer it took several visits to my Uncles pool before i could get Marshall to understand that this was supposed to be fun. lol. But this summer, after not having swam at all over winter, it only took him about half an hour poolside before he got in and starting swimming around (with his life jacket and floaty ring). By the end of the summer, Marshall had ditched the floaty ring and became somewhat comfortable kicking around with just his life jacket on. He is very aware of how close the water is to his face without the floaty ring on, so he does hold on to his life jacket for dear life as he kicks around the pool. lol. He was so proud of himself :)
We had a bit of a set back with our pool (just a 3 footer) at home after a bouncy ball accidentally fell into the pool and sunk to the bottom when the kids were not in it. Marshall lost it. He was so panicky and yelling, and for quite a while after it happened, he would go into freak-out mode any time any toys were near the pool. We had some friends over who had toys in the pool... that did not go over well. I couldn't reason with M, it was totally out of his day to day character and he was just screaming and crying and begging the kids to get the toys (and the kids themselves) out of the pool. Stressful. But, the very next day, I called up my sister and had my 2 nieces who are my kids' age come over, with the understanding that we were going to help Marshall overcome this obstacle. I knew it would be a challenge, but i also knew that if i allowed for him to continue to lose it on everybody, it would escalade. So i talked to Marshall, and we did it slowly and in steps, and after an hour or so of him getting upset and the girls all cooperating with my instructions, Marshall actually got IN the pool and swan around himself. Mission accomplished!!
We bought the kids new bikes this summer, Marshall's first bike! At Toys R Us a few months back, we approached the bike section where Marshall proceeded to get onto one and ride around the store like a pro (with training wheels, but still)! Lol. It was so weird. He was so happy on that bike. We only bought the bikes mid-August, so the kids haven't been on them too much, a handful of times. Marshall loves riding it and asks constantly. They also have a bike at NSAP that he chooses for his reward often :)
The only challenge we face with the bike at home, is that Marshall has become very aware of the cars (even the ones at the end of our street going the other way), and is constantly yelling out "car" when there isn't one. lol. He is just seeing them at the end of the road, not coming his way. Of course, we are trying to teach the kids to go to the side of the road and to stop riding if a car is actually coming, and perhaps our voices have sounded urgent at times and that freaks him out. Or, perhaps Marshall's obsession with Kermit the Frog getting hit by a car in Muppets Take Manhatten (the kids' new fav movie) has him mulling it over a lot. lol. I know, it's bad. haha.
We took our first real family vacation this summer!! Two nights away to Lynnwood (just outside of Seattle) and we took the kids to the Seattle zoo! This was actually the first zoo visit for the little kids. It was great! I should add first, that Marshall had his first sleepover (followed by several others) at my parents place over the summer and it was a huge success!! So huge, that Marshall doesn't want to live here anymore and is constantly asking to go to "Nana house a (s)leepover" lol. So, we knew Marshall would have successful sleeping in the hotel room next to Devyn, which he did :) The weather was beautiful and the trip was fun! We went with my sister and her family, as well as with my parents. It was a tad busy with all of the shopping everyone wanted to fit in, so busy, that we actually tried to stay an extra night, but the hotel was booked. Marshall loves to talk about the trip to the zoo. The clarity of his words is getting better and better each day, and he is working really hard at NSAP to get some functioning sentences together. If you ask Marshall about the zoo, he will say, "see monkeys (not "gunkies!"), a see giraffes, see (p)enguins, a see mangos (flamingos ;)), a see birds, see elephants, see drunks (trunks on the elephants- lol)" I love hearing him talk about the things he enjoyed seeing.
Marshall is starting to volunteer a lot of information as well, which is wonderful. Last year, he never talked about friends names, or even teachers really, and if i tried to ask him what he did today, he mostly focused on what snack he had. This year, he is telling me stories about how at NSAP, "Krish (a boy his age) a (s)mash-ed a doll house. Patty say no, no Krish." HA! Since telling me this story, and perhaps my laughter that followed, he has repeated this story to me several times. I'm just so happy that he is taking things that happen earlier in the day, and voluntarily talking to me about them!! The staff at NSAP was all laughing when i asked them about this story the next day, and they did confirm that that story did happen. haha. Marshall is talking about his friends at home, and his teachers by name now. The info he is trying to get across is not always clear to me, but i'm happy that he is trying :)
I had a meeting with Marshall's preschool teachers just before school started. This almost never happens, but Marshall has been paired up with the same autistic boy as last year, and they have the same aide! He is doing 3 days a week for 2.5 hours each day this year. I am so happy that we got our desired spot at NSAP in the 12:45-2:45 time slot, allowing for him to do both programs :) He loves preschool. Each day he is eager to go, and when i pick him up, he doesn't want to leave! Last year he would run to me smiling and shouting, "Mommy!". Now he slumps down and starts to cry about leaving. I love that he loves preschool, but hey, give your mother some love child!! ;) lol. Overall, it is nice to see how much he loves school and learning, and it just tells me that next year when he enters Kindergarden, he will be more than ready for it.
Just had my meeting with the NSAP (Next Step Autism Program) team yesterday for Marshall's yearly review and IEP (Individual Education Plan) for the year ahead. Janel (program coordinator and Behavoiur Consultant), Laura (Speech) and Carla (senior Behaviour Interventionist)) all sat down with me to go over Marshall's plan. I am so excited! Marshall has done awesome over the past year, and the updated chart of progress more than doubles where he started a year ago!! Janel stated that it was just so fun to update it. Marshall is so determined to learn and seems to just soak up everything that they throw his way. Laura shared of a time when she had to clean up with him and he was shouting, "no! more!" cause he was just loving the excersize. How awesome is that??! Most of Marshall's goals are speech and social related, which i am in full support of. It was great to have Laura challenge one of the goals of 100 items, up to 250 because she feels Marshall can handle it. I am in agreeance! Push him as long as he's allowing us to!!! It was such a positive meeting, and i am excited for the year ahead. There are no goals for Marshall as far as fine and gross motor skills go as he is above average in those areas, as well as self-help areas. Is am so hopeful that he will continue to come leaps and bounds over the next year with such a focused program!
Well, i am out the door now to meet with the school's principal to discuss some options for Marshall for next year. I spoke with Janel about some options through her program (as well as other routes) for next year, so now i need to gather all of the information and make a decision by January!! Because Marshall is in a private school, i will need to register him with a tuition plan in place by February, so i don't have until after summer to figure this all. That's ok, because i love having a plan to get excited about!!
Until next time... :)
Friday, June 22, 2012
and just like that, it's JUNE.
I think i need to admit that i have definitely let this blog suffer.
I now see that the last time i posted was in FEBRUARY.
Here we are mid-June... man has the time flown by!
I suppose we will consider this post an overview :)
So, what has happened since February... seems so long ago!
Well, we celebrated Easter with a few different activities.
We attended a different church for a Good Friday service
as our home church did not have one.
There was no Sunday School in place for that Friday,
so i knew the kids would have to sit through the service
which typically is an hour long.
Marshall has done pretty good with sitting quietly during
church before, and he did wonderfully in this new
environment as well!
Something neat that Marshall did during the service
that the people around us saw, and all had "awww"
moments, was when Marshall drew on his magnet board
the image on the screen which was that of the hill and
three crosses. Most people were focused on the song lyrics
and didn't even realize that there was a picture in the background.
Marshall is definitely an artist and he is developing in his
drawing skills daily. I will have to post some of his
drawings one of these days :)
This simple drawing during the Easter service warmed my heart.
A few minutes later, he called me to look at his
new drawing which was similar, but he had added a car
next to the crosses driving up the hill! lol.
Nothing wrong with thinking modern day, right?! haha.
Last year, Marshall took to Easter and the concept of looking for eggs
and candy, and again this year, he loved filling his basket
and hunting around the yard with his siblings, and again with
his cousins at my parents' place.
It was beautiful that Easter long weekend and we
had lots of activities and outings, including a trip
to a local greenhouse which was a new place for Marshall.
He is sooo awesome at listening to us now,
it really is a joy to take him anywhere :)
He even picked out his own flower which he tends to daily.
It was beautiful that Easter long weekend and we
had lots of activities and outings, including a trip
to a local greenhouse which was a new place for Marshall.
He is sooo awesome at listening to us now,
it really is a joy to take him anywhere :)
He even picked out his own flower which he tends to daily.
*******************************
A few months back, i decided to gather together some of the mom's
that i've become friends with through Autism, to
have a playdate in my backyard.
We have gotten together a few times already and everyone
has really enjoyed having a non-judgemental, safe place
for the kids to play and for the moms to visit!
I am a homebody, so when we moved here we
started to create a playground backyard so i'd never have to leave. lol.
It's served us well!!
I am a homebody, so when we moved here we
started to create a playground backyard so i'd never have to leave. lol.
It's served us well!!
There are 4 ASD moms and 9 kids in total.
It's somewhat chaotic, but the kids all get along really well!
Due to my small house, these playdates are weather permitting,
and unfortunitely, the 'Juneuary' we have been experiencing
has not helped in our desire for more frequent gatherings.
I'm looking forward to summer showing up and more good times
with this great group of moms who are there as a wonderful
support system to both me and my family.
It's been interesting to gather these 5 autistic kids together
and getting to know them outside of a school setting,
which is a very brief interaction.
The Autism Spectrum is SO big, and each child has their
own unique set of 'things' that put them on that spectrum.
It's been a growing experience learning more about
how autism affects each child, and each family, differently.
*******************************
Within the ASD playgroup, there are 2 birthday boys
whose birthdays are just 3 days apart... one of them being Marshall's
which was on May 6th! My little guy is 4 now!
I had been humming and hawing about whether
or not to do some kind of party for Marshall,
and ultimitely decided with the other birthday boy's mom, Becky,
that we would do a combined party for the boys with our new little group.
And that's exactly what we did!
It was the first real birthday party with friends that either of our boys
has had. The other boy, Ayden turned 6.
Becky and i bought chips and a fruit platter,
and made cupcakes that we put in the back of Marshall's TONKA truck
for a cake! The boys loved the cake. lol.
We just rolled out the truck infront of them, sang happy birthday,
and let them go to town on them. lol.
They ate them ALL in record speed!
(all 9 of them, not just the two boys. lol)
We also bought some wooden picture frames and some paint
and each kids made their own frame.
I took a bunch of pictures and will print them off to fill
the frames for each kid as a keepsake.
It was a fun afternoon!!
Marshall's actual birthday was on a Sunday and we
had a nice relaxing day. Went to church in the morning
where Marshall was overly excited with actually understanding that
today was his birthday! He was telling everybody and it was super adorable.
I took him to the dollar store and
I took him to the dollar store and
let him pick out a balloon, and we grabbed a small cake
from the grocery store and sat in the backyard
and enjoyed the sunshine :)
I cannot believe how far Marshall has come in one year.
It was just after his 3rd birthday that he was officially diagnosed.
SUCH a different child now.
God has blessed our family with Marshall and we have just loved
watching him grow and learn.
We can't imagine our life without him.
******************************
My Opa, my mom's dad, went into the hospital with pnemonia
at the beginning of May. He ended up having many other health
concerns that kept him in the hospital for a week and a half,
and he did pass away.
My Mom has always had a close relationship with my Opa,
and both my sister and I spent all of our spare time
sitting by my Opa's bedside with my Mom.
It was a hard last few days with Opa.
We know he is in heaven now with Oma and much of his family,
so we have peace in his passing.
As an extended family, we have about 4 gatherings per year,
so Marshall does know who Opa is.
As an extended family, we have about 4 gatherings per year,
so Marshall does know who Opa is.
I decided to try and take him to the hospital
to visit Opa when he was still responsive.
Marshall did great there.
Maybe it's his young age, but he didn't seem to mind
that Opa was in a bed and not looking quite himself.
We brought Opa a balloon when we went to visit on Marshall's birthday.
When Opa would doze off, M would yell out, "Papa! Look!"
at the sticker he had on his shirt. lol.
Marshall was calm, sitting on my lap nicely, and not running
down the halls. We went back a few times with the kids that week
and i am so thankful that because of Marshall's amazing behaviour,
he was able to connect with Opa a little bit more
right until the end.
Opa passed away, and then the funeral took place a week later.
That whole week, i didn't know what to do with Marshall for the day of the funeral.
The last family funeral was my Oma's and Marshall was growing inside
of me for that one :)
The last family funeral was my Oma's and Marshall was growing inside
of me for that one :)
Should i bring him for the whole day?
Should i send him to school so he misses the cemetary part
and then pick him up for the church part?
I wanted to be involved in the celebration of Opa's life as much as possible,
alongside my cousins. We had chosen 2 songs to sing,
and i felt like i needed to share some words.
Is Marshall going to let me sing/play?
Is he going to make me hold him?... then i can't play piano.
Will he keep yelling even if i pick him up while i'm singing?
If i bring him to the graveside, will he cry and yell while everyone is
trying to mourn?
Eeeek.
Then my sister had the idea of releasing balloons at the graveside,
Then my sister had the idea of releasing balloons at the graveside,
which was a great idea that all the great grandkids would take part in...
but that includes Marshall.
We were ok with him not letting go of his balloon,
but would he scream and cry and jump crazily
while the other balloons floated into the clouds?
That would not be so great.
Ok. So now you know how my brain gets stressed
out... the 'what if's' are torturous!! lol.
Well, after talking it over with family and with eachother,
we ended up just deciding we would bring Marshall
we ended up just deciding we would bring Marshall
for the whole day.
I would try to be as involved as possible, and we would
pray that Marshall wouldn't hinder any of that.
Surprisingly, Marshall did awesome the whole day.
We went to the church first for the viewing,
which we spent practicing in the gym,
and which Marshall let me do while he colored at the table with
his sisters and with Daddy.
At the graveside, Marshall made me carry him for the
minister part which wasn't long, and then
he took his balloon and released it happily
along with all of the other kids.
He even sweetly said, "(bal)loon up in a clouds in a (s)ky"
as a lot of people were quietly watching the
rainbow of balloons rise up into the air.
It melted my heart.
I did not expect this kinda of cooperation from Marshall at that moment.
What a blessing.
Back at the church for the celebration portion,
Marshall again did awesome!
He sat at the kids table and he ate and he colored
and he allowed for me to be involved
with only quiet whispers of my name when he realized
i wasn't at my table :)
No yelling, no crying.
I was able to read what i had written and he let me do it
without any fuss at all...
again, such a blessing.
Thank you Lord for taking Marshall into your hands
on this day in order to allow for me to grieve and have the time
that i needed with my family.
****************************
There have been some other things Marshall has
succeeded in recently such as attending a Fun Fair
at his cousins school.
They had many bouncy castles, a favourite for Marshall Man,
and he waited in line pretty good each and every time...
and some of the lines were 10 minutes long!
Daddy got a new job so he is home just before dinner
now which has been AWESOME.
Normally, he'd only get home around 7:30pm,
just in time to say goodnight to the kids.
We are doing some renos on our house,
and Marshall has become completely involved
in "help Daddy!!!" each and every time
Daddy walks through the door and heads to the front yard.
Daddy has stated that he really loves it as Marshall
is actually a wonderful helper and has been really following
each instruction well.
I am thrilled to have another thing, a special thing for just Marshall
and Daddy to do that they both enjoy, and that
can be used as a teaching time too!
******************************
Our church was doing a VBS curriculum during our sunday school time
over a 2 month period. There was a lot of things that
were switched up and changed from the normal
routine and we had some concerns about Marshall's
adjusting to them.
Well, the very first time, i came along to help him through
it, but he became so dependent on me, he hardly
participated and just wanted me to carry him
the whole time.
No good.
The following Sunday, i dropped him off as per normal,
and then they had another Mom who took over for me...
and of course, Marshall did amazing and participated in everything.
Turkey!!
All of these weeks led up to a finale Sunday morning service
that the kids were going to put on.
Well, Marshall chose to not go up on the stage that day.
I was ok with it.
He did go up midway through with the bundle of balloons he stole
and sat back and observed the story telling time.
That was pretty cute.
Marshall did speak his one line into the microphone...
but not without yelling "mine!" when my sis handed it to him
and he grabbed it, and then fighting a bit to give it back. lol.
Big sister D did amazing on the stage and i have to
say, made this mama very proud.
*******************
I decided, it was a risk of course, to cancel Marshall's
autism school for the afternoon to allow him
to come along on a kindergarten fieldtrip with
his sister and i to a dairy farm.
It was a good decision :)
Marshall did great!
Didn't have any meltdowns or draw any unwanted
attention to himself.
He followed orders and listened,
and he even took his turn at milking a cow!!! cool.
He did the hay ride really well and
listened to my instructions to hold on to me the whole time.
At the end of the day i was connecting with
another mom and we got on the topic of
special needs and i saw her looking confused by my
comment, and i said the ol' "you know Marshall has Autism right?"
She had no idea.
Now, she really only spent a few hours with us on this
fieldtrip, but it still made me feel good to know
that all of Marshall's hard work is paying off.
And let me also say,
that there is NOTHING wrong with being or looking different.
And it will never be my goal to have Marshall be like
everybody else. But it IS my goal to have Marshall
be happy, loved, and accepted
by everyone he comes into contact with.
It truely made my heart smile to see a little girl in Marshall's
preschool, a girl who has taken a liking to M from the beginning of the year,
give Marshall a card on the last day of preschool that said,
"Thank you Marshall for being my friend."
My friend.
Not a forced sibling or cousin friend, a true friend.
Love that.
********************************
You know, when i first started writing this blog, it was
about taking note of the good, the bad, and the ugly.
The journey.
Marshall has had sooo much continuous progress
and is constantly impressing us,
this blog has been feeling like a brag book lately.
I suppose that is a good thing, right?! lol.
I know many other parents out there who have not seen
their special needs children achieve so quickly the things
that Marshall has accomplished.
My prayer is that those reading this can find hope in
Marshall's journey, and be able to see success in
their own childs progress, regardless of the pace it's going.
I am thankful for Marshall's determination and independence.
Kinda random here,
but i wanted to mention that with the Autism Funding we have,
we purchased an iPad for Marshall last month!
Once i get more of a program going for him,
i'll post in more detail on all of this the future.
*******************************
Here's a story of 'the bad', if you will.
At Marshall's preschool they have tubs served as mailboxes.
Each day the students check the mailbox and will find
the craft or coloring they worked on earlier that day or recently.
For some reason, Marshall never took to the concept of these
mailboxes. Perhaps it is because we had other stresses in fall
such as his shoes and jacket getting put on afterwards,
that we were consumed with 'things to do' already.
Only after Christmas, when Marshall had mastered getting ready
after school was over, did he discover the absolute joy
in running to his mailbox to see what 'treasure' lay inside!!
Seriously though, it's quite an exciting ordeal for him. lol.
So, eagerly checking the mail
became part of the routine, a part that he loved.
Then one day, there was nothing in the mailbox.
Oh. my. word.
And the meltdown that followed, my friends,
is where you see Autism in my son.... and honestly,
i don't see it in him often, so when these things happen,
they are hard for this Mama to observe.
The craft that they had made earlier was with paint
and was not yet dry enough to take home.
Logical. And easy to explain to a typical 3.5 year old.
Not so easy for Marshall.
The thing that made it so hard, and what brought me to tears as i
watched my son pace the halls and run back and forth
in search of something that he wanted,
but he didn't know what it was or where it was,
and he was so frantic and you could see his little mind
being overwhelmed by the whole thing,
what made it so hard was that...
i couldn't reach him.
I'm his mother, and i couldn't reach him.
He would come over to me for comfort for 10 seconds
and i would hold him and rub his back and tell
him it was ok... and then he would get back up and run to
his teachers screaming through tears,
jumping up and down,
running back to his mailbox to check again.
Man, that was a hard morning.
It was so unexpected,
and as i said, reminds me that my son is different.
I wasn't prepared emotionally,
and i could do nothing but cry.
I know i am human and weakness is allowed,
so i am ok with my tiny breakdown now.
At the time though, it was hard to swallow the
fact that i was lost in this situation.
The teachers didn't know what to do,
and besides doing what i was already doing,
i didn't know what to do either.
Eventually Marshall let me take him in my arms and
carry him out to the car crying, both of us.
M was actually taken aback when he saw the tears pouring down my face.
Much concern grew in his face and he stopped crying to watch
me and rub my tears away.
In the saddness of that moment,
i remember feeling happy that he appeared to be showing
empathy of some sort :)
After emailing with Marshall's wonderful and supportive
teacher, it was decided that we would all make
sure that before Marshall is dismissed from class,
that there is something in his mailbox for him to take home.
We will tackle this issue in fall, since this all happened
so near to the end of this school year.
Teaching him that sometimes there is no mail
and that that is ok.
And I am ok with that.
*************************
One last item i wanted to touch on was Marshall's daily
therapy and intervention that he has at NSAP.
Marshall really loves going to this school
which for those of you who have forgotten,
is 2 hours, 5 days a week, and is run through
the Fraser Valley Child Developmental Centre
and held at Terry Fox school here in Abbotsford.
There are 2 classrooms, one for work and one for play.
There are 4 students in each class and each one has
their own Behavioural Interventionist.
Marshall has been attending this school since August of last year
and has just come leaps and bounds since then.
I'm tempted to re-read his diagnosis details again.
I'm sure to find myself smiling at all of the things that were
once a struggle for him, that he has overcome through intervention,
and also just in growing up!
The words EARLY INTERVENTION and AUTISM
truely do go hand in hand.
I am so thankful that i asked the right questions at the right
time which essentially got the ball rolling towards a diagnosis.
I sure didn't want to ask them.
It's easy to tell yourself that nothing is wrong with your child.
That they have a few delays but nothing 'label worthy'.
That they're just 'quirky'.
That they will get there eventually.
In general, i am that laid back kind of parent.
Always thinking that things will work out
and that God's got everything under control.
And He does, but i know that
He gave me a heart and a brain and He allows
opportunity for me to make my own decisions
for both me, and for my kids.
Ok, ok. I'm totally going off into my own little avenues!!
Basically what i want to say is that an autism diagnosis
is a blessing as it allows the funding to really allow
for your child to succeed :)
The earlier it's detected, the more funding you recieve.
I am open to talking to anyone on a personal level
so please feel free to contact me,
we need to stick together in our struggles!!!
Back to the topic :)
Next Step Autism Program.
When we first signed Marshall up, it really just felt like the easy thing to do.
Of course, there were many perks to being in this
type of a program, and i'd only heard good things,
but there are many different routes to take, and of course as a parent,
you are never sure if the one you are choosing is the right one.
Well, we signed Marshall up thinking, get him into something now,
and we'll see where that takes us and if it fits Marshall and his needs.
I can say in truth that this program has been amazing for
Marshall. God has had a plan for him there all along.
The BI's that M works with daily are all
amazing people who truely do care and who love what they do,
and it shows.
Marshall has always had strengths in his gross and fine-motor skills.
We were actually surprised when he was diagnosed
that they put him half a year behind his age.
When we first started NSAP,
Marshall's OT reports appeared to have things that
legitimately needed working on, so i was in
support of it. Each month Marshall would work on and master
the new tasks set out. In the past few months though,
the OT reports were getting smaller and smaller,
and the 'issues' that were presented to me
were actually non-issues in my personal opinion.
The OT is great, and she is just doing her job.
I just felt like she had nothing to say because frankly,
Marshall rocks the OT world. lol.
I had another parent whose sons have been in NSAP approach
me and tell me that i should consider pulling M out
because she has found that there are holes in this program.
I actually sat down with Janel, 'the boss', and told her
that i was told this and waited for her reply.
I actually liked her answer;
"Of course! We're not perfect. There are strengths
and there are weaknesses to running a program in a classroom
setting. I believe that hiring out can work well for any child,
but they will lose the social atmosphere that is taught here alongside
everything else."
I totally agree.
Danny and I discussed pulling Marshall from this program
for a while there. It is obvious that one of his greatest
weaknesses, although it's coming along daily, is his speech.
We really wanted speech to be monitered more regulary
and thought the only way to do that would be to pull him.
Well, i decided to ask Janel about this.
I asked her if it would be an option to cancel M seeing the OT
for now, and to double up is SP sessions instead.
I actually didn't think she would say yes.
I figured that i knew what i signed up for...
once a month M sees 3 different qualified therapists who write
up a report that the BI's follow.
Her response surprised me when she stated that she would
need to get approval from the SP and her higher up,
or something along those lines,
but that we could try to do as i requested.
And a month later, all the paperwork is in place to have
Marshall seeing the SP twice a month!!
I am soo excited.
And the SP, Laura, is amazing.
Super detailed and really easy to talk to, and you just know
she knows her stuff.
Her reports for Marshall are always lengthy and in such
great detail as to instruct the rest of the team how
to specifically teach Marshall.
I have spoken with Laura since this all was approved and am so
happy that she is in full aggreement that i double up
Marshall's speech.
I, as a parent, felt it was the right thing to do,
but really hadn't gotten any comments either way in my decision.
It's not that i needed it, but it was still nice to hear
and obviously built up my confidence in my decision making for my son.
I'm learning what it means to be an advocate for my son,
and i am thankful that God paved the way for it to be easy the first time! lol.
There are so many stone-cold ASD mothers out there
just looking for a fight... like they think no matter
what anyone does or says they don't have their kids' best interest in mind.
I am not one of those parents,
and i pray that i never become one of them.
I have so much confidence in Marshall staying at NS,
and i love that i know it's where he's supposed to be right now.
Marshall will carry on with NS through the summer,
and i also have him enrolled in a VBS (vacation bible school)
program for a week in July where a trained aide has stepped forward and volunteered
to assist M for the week!
Looking forward to a relaxing summer with the loves of my life!
Hope you enjoy yours too.
I'll try not to stay away for so long next time.
**************************************
So, that's all.
Just a nice short read ;) lol.
Life is good when your cup is half full...
or as my Mom likes to say,
"My cup runneth over".
And with Faith. Hope. Love. and Autism,
how can it not? :)
We went to the church first for the viewing,
which we spent practicing in the gym,
and which Marshall let me do while he colored at the table with
his sisters and with Daddy.
At the graveside, Marshall made me carry him for the
minister part which wasn't long, and then
he took his balloon and released it happily
along with all of the other kids.
He even sweetly said, "(bal)loon up in a clouds in a (s)ky"
as a lot of people were quietly watching the
rainbow of balloons rise up into the air.
It melted my heart.
I did not expect this kinda of cooperation from Marshall at that moment.
What a blessing.
Back at the church for the celebration portion,
Marshall again did awesome!
He sat at the kids table and he ate and he colored
and he allowed for me to be involved
with only quiet whispers of my name when he realized
i wasn't at my table :)
No yelling, no crying.
I was able to read what i had written and he let me do it
without any fuss at all...
again, such a blessing.
Thank you Lord for taking Marshall into your hands
on this day in order to allow for me to grieve and have the time
that i needed with my family.
****************************
There have been some other things Marshall has
succeeded in recently such as attending a Fun Fair
at his cousins school.
They had many bouncy castles, a favourite for Marshall Man,
and he waited in line pretty good each and every time...
and some of the lines were 10 minutes long!
Daddy got a new job so he is home just before dinner
now which has been AWESOME.
Normally, he'd only get home around 7:30pm,
just in time to say goodnight to the kids.
We are doing some renos on our house,
and Marshall has become completely involved
in "help Daddy!!!" each and every time
Daddy walks through the door and heads to the front yard.
Daddy has stated that he really loves it as Marshall
is actually a wonderful helper and has been really following
each instruction well.
I am thrilled to have another thing, a special thing for just Marshall
and Daddy to do that they both enjoy, and that
can be used as a teaching time too!
******************************
Our church was doing a VBS curriculum during our sunday school time
over a 2 month period. There was a lot of things that
were switched up and changed from the normal
routine and we had some concerns about Marshall's
adjusting to them.
Well, the very first time, i came along to help him through
it, but he became so dependent on me, he hardly
participated and just wanted me to carry him
the whole time.
No good.
The following Sunday, i dropped him off as per normal,
and then they had another Mom who took over for me...
and of course, Marshall did amazing and participated in everything.
Turkey!!
All of these weeks led up to a finale Sunday morning service
that the kids were going to put on.
Well, Marshall chose to not go up on the stage that day.
I was ok with it.
He did go up midway through with the bundle of balloons he stole
and sat back and observed the story telling time.
That was pretty cute.
Marshall did speak his one line into the microphone...
but not without yelling "mine!" when my sis handed it to him
and he grabbed it, and then fighting a bit to give it back. lol.
Big sister D did amazing on the stage and i have to
say, made this mama very proud.
*******************
I decided, it was a risk of course, to cancel Marshall's
autism school for the afternoon to allow him
to come along on a kindergarten fieldtrip with
his sister and i to a dairy farm.
It was a good decision :)
Marshall did great!
Didn't have any meltdowns or draw any unwanted
attention to himself.
He followed orders and listened,
and he even took his turn at milking a cow!!! cool.
He did the hay ride really well and
listened to my instructions to hold on to me the whole time.
At the end of the day i was connecting with
another mom and we got on the topic of
special needs and i saw her looking confused by my
comment, and i said the ol' "you know Marshall has Autism right?"
She had no idea.
Now, she really only spent a few hours with us on this
fieldtrip, but it still made me feel good to know
that all of Marshall's hard work is paying off.
And let me also say,
that there is NOTHING wrong with being or looking different.
And it will never be my goal to have Marshall be like
everybody else. But it IS my goal to have Marshall
be happy, loved, and accepted
by everyone he comes into contact with.
It truely made my heart smile to see a little girl in Marshall's
preschool, a girl who has taken a liking to M from the beginning of the year,
give Marshall a card on the last day of preschool that said,
"Thank you Marshall for being my friend."
My friend.
Not a forced sibling or cousin friend, a true friend.
Love that.
********************************
You know, when i first started writing this blog, it was
about taking note of the good, the bad, and the ugly.
The journey.
Marshall has had sooo much continuous progress
and is constantly impressing us,
this blog has been feeling like a brag book lately.
I suppose that is a good thing, right?! lol.
I know many other parents out there who have not seen
their special needs children achieve so quickly the things
that Marshall has accomplished.
My prayer is that those reading this can find hope in
Marshall's journey, and be able to see success in
their own childs progress, regardless of the pace it's going.
I am thankful for Marshall's determination and independence.
Kinda random here,
but i wanted to mention that with the Autism Funding we have,
we purchased an iPad for Marshall last month!
Once i get more of a program going for him,
i'll post in more detail on all of this the future.
*******************************
Here's a story of 'the bad', if you will.
At Marshall's preschool they have tubs served as mailboxes.
Each day the students check the mailbox and will find
the craft or coloring they worked on earlier that day or recently.
For some reason, Marshall never took to the concept of these
mailboxes. Perhaps it is because we had other stresses in fall
such as his shoes and jacket getting put on afterwards,
that we were consumed with 'things to do' already.
Only after Christmas, when Marshall had mastered getting ready
after school was over, did he discover the absolute joy
in running to his mailbox to see what 'treasure' lay inside!!
Seriously though, it's quite an exciting ordeal for him. lol.
So, eagerly checking the mail
became part of the routine, a part that he loved.
Then one day, there was nothing in the mailbox.
Oh. my. word.
And the meltdown that followed, my friends,
is where you see Autism in my son.... and honestly,
i don't see it in him often, so when these things happen,
they are hard for this Mama to observe.
The craft that they had made earlier was with paint
and was not yet dry enough to take home.
Logical. And easy to explain to a typical 3.5 year old.
Not so easy for Marshall.
The thing that made it so hard, and what brought me to tears as i
watched my son pace the halls and run back and forth
in search of something that he wanted,
but he didn't know what it was or where it was,
and he was so frantic and you could see his little mind
being overwhelmed by the whole thing,
what made it so hard was that...
i couldn't reach him.
I'm his mother, and i couldn't reach him.
He would come over to me for comfort for 10 seconds
and i would hold him and rub his back and tell
him it was ok... and then he would get back up and run to
his teachers screaming through tears,
jumping up and down,
running back to his mailbox to check again.
Man, that was a hard morning.
It was so unexpected,
and as i said, reminds me that my son is different.
I wasn't prepared emotionally,
and i could do nothing but cry.
I know i am human and weakness is allowed,
so i am ok with my tiny breakdown now.
At the time though, it was hard to swallow the
fact that i was lost in this situation.
The teachers didn't know what to do,
and besides doing what i was already doing,
i didn't know what to do either.
Eventually Marshall let me take him in my arms and
carry him out to the car crying, both of us.
M was actually taken aback when he saw the tears pouring down my face.
Much concern grew in his face and he stopped crying to watch
me and rub my tears away.
In the saddness of that moment,
i remember feeling happy that he appeared to be showing
empathy of some sort :)
After emailing with Marshall's wonderful and supportive
teacher, it was decided that we would all make
sure that before Marshall is dismissed from class,
that there is something in his mailbox for him to take home.
We will tackle this issue in fall, since this all happened
so near to the end of this school year.
Teaching him that sometimes there is no mail
and that that is ok.
And I am ok with that.
*************************
One last item i wanted to touch on was Marshall's daily
therapy and intervention that he has at NSAP.
Marshall really loves going to this school
which for those of you who have forgotten,
is 2 hours, 5 days a week, and is run through
the Fraser Valley Child Developmental Centre
and held at Terry Fox school here in Abbotsford.
There are 2 classrooms, one for work and one for play.
There are 4 students in each class and each one has
their own Behavioural Interventionist.
Marshall has been attending this school since August of last year
and has just come leaps and bounds since then.
I'm tempted to re-read his diagnosis details again.
I'm sure to find myself smiling at all of the things that were
once a struggle for him, that he has overcome through intervention,
and also just in growing up!
The words EARLY INTERVENTION and AUTISM
truely do go hand in hand.
I am so thankful that i asked the right questions at the right
time which essentially got the ball rolling towards a diagnosis.
I sure didn't want to ask them.
It's easy to tell yourself that nothing is wrong with your child.
That they have a few delays but nothing 'label worthy'.
That they're just 'quirky'.
That they will get there eventually.
In general, i am that laid back kind of parent.
Always thinking that things will work out
and that God's got everything under control.
And He does, but i know that
He gave me a heart and a brain and He allows
opportunity for me to make my own decisions
for both me, and for my kids.
Ok, ok. I'm totally going off into my own little avenues!!
Basically what i want to say is that an autism diagnosis
is a blessing as it allows the funding to really allow
for your child to succeed :)
The earlier it's detected, the more funding you recieve.
I am open to talking to anyone on a personal level
so please feel free to contact me,
we need to stick together in our struggles!!!
Back to the topic :)
Next Step Autism Program.
When we first signed Marshall up, it really just felt like the easy thing to do.
Of course, there were many perks to being in this
type of a program, and i'd only heard good things,
but there are many different routes to take, and of course as a parent,
you are never sure if the one you are choosing is the right one.
Well, we signed Marshall up thinking, get him into something now,
and we'll see where that takes us and if it fits Marshall and his needs.
I can say in truth that this program has been amazing for
Marshall. God has had a plan for him there all along.
The BI's that M works with daily are all
amazing people who truely do care and who love what they do,
and it shows.
Marshall has always had strengths in his gross and fine-motor skills.
We were actually surprised when he was diagnosed
that they put him half a year behind his age.
When we first started NSAP,
Marshall's OT reports appeared to have things that
legitimately needed working on, so i was in
support of it. Each month Marshall would work on and master
the new tasks set out. In the past few months though,
the OT reports were getting smaller and smaller,
and the 'issues' that were presented to me
were actually non-issues in my personal opinion.
The OT is great, and she is just doing her job.
I just felt like she had nothing to say because frankly,
Marshall rocks the OT world. lol.
I had another parent whose sons have been in NSAP approach
me and tell me that i should consider pulling M out
because she has found that there are holes in this program.
I actually sat down with Janel, 'the boss', and told her
that i was told this and waited for her reply.
I actually liked her answer;
"Of course! We're not perfect. There are strengths
and there are weaknesses to running a program in a classroom
setting. I believe that hiring out can work well for any child,
but they will lose the social atmosphere that is taught here alongside
everything else."
I totally agree.
Danny and I discussed pulling Marshall from this program
for a while there. It is obvious that one of his greatest
weaknesses, although it's coming along daily, is his speech.
We really wanted speech to be monitered more regulary
and thought the only way to do that would be to pull him.
Well, i decided to ask Janel about this.
I asked her if it would be an option to cancel M seeing the OT
for now, and to double up is SP sessions instead.
I actually didn't think she would say yes.
I figured that i knew what i signed up for...
once a month M sees 3 different qualified therapists who write
up a report that the BI's follow.
Her response surprised me when she stated that she would
need to get approval from the SP and her higher up,
or something along those lines,
but that we could try to do as i requested.
And a month later, all the paperwork is in place to have
Marshall seeing the SP twice a month!!
I am soo excited.
And the SP, Laura, is amazing.
Super detailed and really easy to talk to, and you just know
she knows her stuff.
Her reports for Marshall are always lengthy and in such
great detail as to instruct the rest of the team how
to specifically teach Marshall.
I have spoken with Laura since this all was approved and am so
happy that she is in full aggreement that i double up
Marshall's speech.
I, as a parent, felt it was the right thing to do,
but really hadn't gotten any comments either way in my decision.
It's not that i needed it, but it was still nice to hear
and obviously built up my confidence in my decision making for my son.
I'm learning what it means to be an advocate for my son,
and i am thankful that God paved the way for it to be easy the first time! lol.
There are so many stone-cold ASD mothers out there
just looking for a fight... like they think no matter
what anyone does or says they don't have their kids' best interest in mind.
I am not one of those parents,
and i pray that i never become one of them.
I have so much confidence in Marshall staying at NS,
and i love that i know it's where he's supposed to be right now.
Marshall will carry on with NS through the summer,
and i also have him enrolled in a VBS (vacation bible school)
program for a week in July where a trained aide has stepped forward and volunteered
to assist M for the week!
Looking forward to a relaxing summer with the loves of my life!
Hope you enjoy yours too.
I'll try not to stay away for so long next time.
**************************************
So, that's all.
Just a nice short read ;) lol.
Life is good when your cup is half full...
or as my Mom likes to say,
"My cup runneth over".
And with Faith. Hope. Love. and Autism,
how can it not? :)
Monday, February 6, 2012
Venturing Out
We have been BUSY!
The sun has been shining for several days now
and what an energy it brings with it, thankfully!
Life gets that way doesn't it? Busy, that is.
I thought being a stay-at-home Mom would
look a little differently than it does today.
My Mom sure made it look easy!!
I'm managing ok though, so i'm not going to complain too much. lol.
My favourite part of each day is
when i get to reflect back for a brief moment
to think about how hard everything was with my little man
a year ago, heck, even 6 months ago!
Daily, i am just amazed at the little boy
that is now my son.
Of course, there are no easy days,
but there are definitely easier days around here .
Before, there was such a huge challenge in going anywhere
with Marshall.
And leaving places he wanted to be at was a huge
challenge as well.
I wouldn't go anywhere with him alone,
and if i did, it was almost always a negative experience
which left me basically in tears and feeling
totally exhausted.
*sigh
I still remember what it was like and it feels
so heavy, so weighted, and it was.
Over the past month and a half,
we have had SO many amazing adventures with Marshall.
In the past, the same outings that were nightmares,
we can now put in the 'positive experience book'.
Castle Fun Park.
I don't think i've ever shared about the first time
we took Marshall there, and honestly i really don't
remember much about it anymore...
except that he hated it, and it was stressful. lol.
It was all so overwhelming for him
and we couldn't get him to do anything besides
run away from us screaming.
When we left i remember thinking that we
would try again when he was 20. lol.
That was probably like a year and a half ago.
I bought a Groupon for $25 with a value of $50 (woohoo!)
and my husband and i decided to try again over
Christmas break.
I knew it'd be better than the last time...
well, i didn't know, but i figured it really couldn't
be any worse than the last time.
As i continue to say,
Marshall is not the same child anymore.
You can get his attention and keep it now...
not for very long, but long enough to get him somewhat focused.
Marshall loved Castle Fun Park this time.
He was all smiles and played tons of games.
We walked our way through the entire place
for a couple of hours and it was simply, enjoyable.
Both kids really liked the rollercoaster simulation ride!
Nobody knew that Marshall has Autism,
and in these precious moments, i forget too,
and it's a wonderful break for myself... to embrace the now.
No thoughts of appointments or therapies
or what my crazy hectic day will look like tomorrow.
Wonderful.
We plan to go back when the weather warms up
and take the kids on the Go-Carts for the first time.
That should be a big hit, not a miss, if we can get
Marshall's seatbelt and helmet on successfully :D
Marshall was recently invited to a birthday party
at the Safari Zone with his entire preschool class.
The parents rented out the place and
specifically told me that they'd love to have Marshall there.
That was nice.
Some of you may remember my post last August about
a birthday party at the Safari zone.
If you haven't read it, i encourage you to.
In doing so, you can understand where we've come from.
So naturally, recieving this party invitation brought
back all of the memories i had tried to forget.
My first thought was that no, i wasn't going to do bday
parties with Marshall anymore.
But, then i reminded myself
that i need to stop selling Marshall short.
I need to believe in him,
to not be afraid of the what ifs.
Look at how much he has accomplished,
how much he's grown.
Ok, so i decided that i would take him to the party.
I had an extra boost of confidence from
Marshall when we took the kids the day before the party
to the new UPlay that just opened up .
He had a blast and listened to
my husband and i the whole time.
When it was time to leave, he came and sat
down and put his own shoes on without
much protest and we were able to leave
without tears or screaming :)
Marshall did awesome at the birthday party.
In comparing this experience to the last one...
He keeps his socks on now, so no issue there.
My concerns of him running out the doors
into the world still exist, but very minimal now,
so i was able to visit with some of the parents
which is something i have really missed out on over
the past couple of years.
When the call for "cake" was made,
my anxiety level rose as i remembered how i
couldn't get Marshall out of the play area last time.
This time, he followed his friends
over to the table and sat down happily.
When they sang, "Happy Birthday"
he watched. He didn't scream. He was ok to not
be the one to blow out the candles.
He ate his cake and snacks and then asked me to
wipe his dirty hands, and back into the
play area with some of the other kids
who were done eating.
When it was time to go, i gave him a 5 mintues warning
and when it was time, he said ``no!``
but when i showed him his shoes and jacket,
he came over to me, sat down, and put them on!!! :O
He said `bye` and even ``thank-you!``
when he was given his goody bag :)
Such a different experience.
In the past couple of months, i have made some new friends.
Parents who also have kids with special needs.
People who i believe God is putting in my life at this time.
I'm not sure if they are in my life to help me, or for me to help them,
but either way it is so wonderful to connect
with other parents who understand, who get it.
And i'm sorry to all of you out there who try,
but you just have no idea until it's your life.
One of my new friends is in the earlier stage of her sons
recent diagnosis. And i feel for her so much.
She cannot see the big picture right now.
A lot of her struggles with her son
are exactly what i was going through with Marshall a year ago.
I keep telling her that it will get better.
She didn't see Marshall before, she only sees him now.
When i look in her eyes i see so much doubt
and disbelief that her son will acheive the same milestones.
Back when it was me, i didn't see it either.
Any kind of normalcy was not within my reach,
not even in my dreams.
The diagnosis and the daily challenges that come with it
kinda stop you in your tracks.
There is so much to take on, to work on,
on a daily basis, and it is often exhausting and overwhelming.
And it can be depressing for sure.
The progress in Marshall is hope.
And i know it's encouraging a lot of other people,
other parents, and i believe strongly that God's hand is in
all of it.
You don't think about God using your kids for His will
when they're so young, we tend to focus on God's will
for us in their little lives.
I am doing my best with Marshall, and i believe
that what we have in place for him right now
with all of the intervention
is what's right for him.
How cool is it that God is using Marshall,
as a living, breathing, loving example of hope.
I stopped taking Marshall to Walmart-type stores
a long time ago.
His behaviour was so unpredictable,
and i often found myself racing through the store
grabbing the bare minimum and getting
the heck outta there.
Well, not before several screaming meltdowns about being
strapped into the buggy,
and often managing to even climb out of the belt!
Also, not without complete maddness as we wait in the
checkout line.
Now that Marshall is in school,
i take these kid-free opportunities to run my errands.
It is so nice to have this time.
Recently though, it dawned on me that going
when M's at school because it's easy is perhaps
not the best option for Marshall.
He needs to learn how to behave in public at some point.
And a couple of weeks ago,
i decided to try it again.
Because you have to, try again, that is.
Look back to Marshall and swimming last summer.
If i would have never gone back to the pool
after his complete meltdown the first time,
we would have lost out on so much enjoyment the whole
rest of the summer.
Finding that inner strength and courage,
that faith that your child will succeed,
is not always easy.
But you really have no choice, in my opinion.
In the New Year,
NSAP changed their time frame for Marshall by 15 mintues.
These 15 min. changed the course of my pickup
schedule with the kids.
I had been picking D up early from Kindergarden
by about 20 minutes, and now
i`d have to pickup M first and then go and get D.
At the beginning of the year,
i tried to dropoff and pickup D with Marshall when
it wasn`t a preschool day for him,
and it was hard.
Marshall did not understand why he wasn`t going to
school and it resulted in screaming and crying
and me having to carry him, restraining him really,
so he`d come with me back to the car.
I was not looking forward to this change,
but it had to be done.
I did not have much hope, pretty much planned for the worst.
Marshall`s comprehention is growing though,
and he does better if i lay out the order of things ahead of time.
So in the car on the way to pickup D that first time
in the New Year,
I repeated myself over and over again,
``Marshall, we`re going to walk, hold hands,
get Devyn, give hugs, see Mrs. Humphries,
walk to the car, go home.``
Yes, that is a lot of words.
I also made sure once we got to the school
that he understood his backpack would stay in the car.
He repeated me.
`walk... hands... Camcam (his sis.)... hugs... walk...car... home`
This was the first time he
actually copied me like this and i had to laugh
as he was doing it in the same tone that i was. lol
We did everything that we talked about...
and Marshall did awesome.
I really couldn`t believe how easy it was.
And every time since, it has been awesome.
He now understands that we go to school for different
reasons, and he is ok with that.
This past Monday, D had school when M didn`t.
My hubby is normally home in the morning and can
stay with Marshall while i bring her,
but he had to work early so i had no choice.
Even after how easy it was and has been,
i was worried. We hadn`t done morning before.
Once we were at the school i had to direct
M to D`s classroom which he was ok with,
but once we dropped her off, he pointed
and wanted to go to his class.
I had to tell him `no school today, walk to the car`
and at that point he broke down and started
crying. Oh dear, i thought.
He wanted a ``HUG``, which is a very frequent request from him
these days, and then i had to carry him back to the
car which was quite the workout for me. lol.
But after we got to the car and chatted a bit,
he was ok.
And so i was ok.
And we did it, fairly successfully. Yeah.
I shared about Marshall`s first ever movie theatre
experience months back where he slept through
the whole movie. lol.
Well, since then we`ve gone to see the Muppet movie,
which he again slept through,
and also the Chipmunk movie, which he stayed awake for!!
He did great, and we had fun.
It`s so nice to be able to do things with my kids again.
I took Marshall to his sisters quarterly visit to the eye
specialist in Surrey. Again, tried that once
years ago, and have gotten a sitter for him every time since.
Well, this time i decided to try again.
He. Did. Amazing.
He listened, followed my direction, sat quietly
while D sat in the chair and answered sight questions.
I didn`t have to explain that M has Autism,
which i feel i need to do sometimes due to the behaviour
that he displays.
All of this makes me feel so free.
And it feels good to say that,
but at the same time sad
as so often i have felt trapped with having Marshall.
God is growing our whole family through this,
and i am so thankful and blessed for
all that i have.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Temple Grandin
My husband and i recently watched the movie
Temple Grandin
which was made in 2010.
My Mom mentioned this movie to me months ago
and i just hadn't gotten around to it,
but wanted to see it.
Apparently it won many awards and was very well done.
My Mom took it out of the library for me...
there are 17 copies of it or something like
that and there was a wait list to get it.
What a story...
a tear-jerker for this Mama :)
Temple is a grown woman who was diagnosed with
Autism at the age of 5.
She was completely non-verbal at that time.
The movie is based on her life story,
played by Claire Daines who is
amazing in the movie...
especially once you watch the clip i posted above
(of one of Temples conferences she spoke at)
and observe how Temple talks and
her manurisms and what not.
The clip is 20 minutes long,
but gives you great insight into the world of Autism,
into the world of how different
minds view the world,
and to how to best train these brainy
autistic kids to use what they have, to offer to the world.
Temple has written several books on Autism
and the outlook that she has through it...
about viewing the world in pictures.
She is very well spoken and speaks at conferences
all over the world today.
What hope it gives to us who worry about
our kids with ASD and their future.
I recommend this movie (below) to anyone who
knows someone with Autism.
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