Thursday, July 28, 2011

Things to Celebrate!

I have covered quite a bit of ground with
my posts on this blog.
A lot of the stories i've shared
have come with some backround
and end up being quite lengthy.
I'm sure there will still be long posts in the future,
as i am a woman of many words... in case
that hasn't been obvious. lol.
But today, after a pretty typical week,
I'd love to share some happy stories.
Simple stories... simple moments
where i was proud of my son,
where he was proud of himself...
where only happiness was found.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marshall does not dress himself,
well, i guess it's better to say that he can't.
He has tried to pull up his elastic shorts once or twice
and he kinda got them on.
He will push his arms through his shirt
himself, but has no idea how to even start to
put it on over his head himself.
If i hold up his jacket, he will put his arms in the right
holes and then wait for me to zip it up...
if he grabs a jacket himself, he is quite lost with it.
He will jam his feet into his shoes and then
whine for me to push them in the
rest of the way...
rarely does he even try to close the velcro.
So, i suppose it's fair to say that
Marshall is incapable of dressing himself -
a question i have been asked often
in all of the recent testing.
He doesn't show a ton of interest in wanting
to be independant in the area of dressing...
and his sister D never was either.
I have just always done it...
and perhaps hindering the kids from
learning? I dunno.
I will say though, that Marshall has
NO problem taking his clothing off! lol.
Well, Marshall had a big day this week.
I guess he prefers the other image of
Toy Story pullup (there are 2)
than the one i had just put on him.
I watched him (without him realizing)
as he removed the diaper,
walked to the carpet and sat down,
opened the pullup wide enough so
his little feet could fit through the holes,
wiggle it up his legs,
then stand up and continue to pull
the rest of his diaper up
even over his bum until it sat perfectly!
Yeah!!
Of course, this big accomplishment is only big
for a child with developmental delays.
It is not a moment i ever remember
celebrating with my little girl...
but that's one thing
that is so different with Marshall.
Each little step is such a milestone for him...
and that's ok,
and because of the big-ness of it for him
at this time, i will make note of it,
and share it with the world...
and smile.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marshall has limited comprehention.
Well, i guess it's better to say that due to his
lack of language (in large part),
i have no idea what he does and doesn't understand.
I mean, i have some idea,
but M probably gets away with a lot because i
have trouble being stern with him
in times of tantrum behaviour...
because i don't feel it's fair to 'punish' him
when i'm not even sure he understands
why he can't have something,
or why he can't go somewhere,
or why he can't eat or drink what he's asking for.
It's been a struggle.
Anyways, i'm getting off track here...
and while i'm talking about getting off track,
i should just go ahead and take back
my earlier comments about how
this was going to be a shorter post. lol.
SO... back to comprehention.
I was in the kitchen getting D's medicine ready
before bedtime.
Marshall came running up to me holding a
container asking me to "open".
I didn't mind if he played with it for a bit
in his bed while he wound down,
so i opened it for him.
I watched him over the counter as he went
back to the peg board that he had placed
on the floor of the livingroom
and was about to start playing right there with it.
Now, i talk to Marshall all the time...
and not just simple one word phrases to him
either. I do use one or two word phrases often,
but i will use a sentence and kinda feel like
i'm mostly talking to myself.
I wasn't even looking at Marshall but was still
dealing with the meds on the counter, but
i said out loud,
"No no Marshall, you play in your bed."
I didn't expect anything.
But out of the corner of my eye,
i watched M place his container of pegs onto
the peg board, pick up the peg board
and walk down the hall.
My jaw dropped.
What??!!
Sure enough, i follow my son down the hall
to find him in his bed with the toy...
like i had asked him to.
Big moment there folks, big moment.
I went into his room and hugged him and praised
him with simple words i hope he
understood... he was all smiles :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So those were the two exciting things for this week!!
Things that a lot of parents take
forgranted that their 3 year old children can do...
pull up their own diaper (clothes)
and follow a simple instruction.
There are going to be so many more
big moments in Marshall's future
and i will be recording all of them!!
And for once, it is quite refreshing for me to
journal with a joyful heart :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I posted a while back about swimming at my Uncle's pool...
how each time we go, Marshall gets more comfortable,
and how the last time, he even came
into the water with me.
Well, today was the best day yet!!
Marshall wore his life jacket and one of
those floaty rings and he was in the water for
majority of the time... and
not clinging to me either!
He floated around in the pool like he was
just chillin and taking in the sun. lol.
He looked like he should have a drink with an
umbrella in it in his hand!
I am so proud of him.
A good day... a good week!!
Thank you Jesus,
in all things we give You praise.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Potty Training

Notice that i've called this post 'potty training'
and not 'potty trained'.
*Sigh.
I really shouldn't get down about it
as often kids with Autism
struggle with using the washroom and really
Marshall is just 3 and it is not
abnormal for him to not
be potty trained at this point.
The part that frustrates me is that M has been
doing everything for the last 6 months
that shows me that he is ready to be trained.
He has dry diapers in the morning,
every morning.
He grabs himself when he feels he has to go #1.
He holds his bum and runs around
uncomfortably saying "poopoo"
when the sensation is there.
He will stop in the middle of whatever he is
doing to get into his 'stance' and then
looks down at his diaper
while he pees.
He will stand in the bathtub, in his certain stance
and look down for a few seconds before
he pees in there.
Two weeks ago, Marshall started to pee
in the bath but the loofa floated into his stream...
(eww) and as i reached down to pull it
out of the way, M stopped peeing,
pointed at the loofa and started yelling.
I moved it out of the way.
Marshall looked back down at himself and finished
peeing. Total control is there.
It's annoying really.
He should be potty trained already.
Big sister D was SO easy to potty train...
but she had language and comprehension.
Once she was trained, she NEVER
had an accident at night.
If she has to go, she'd wake up and i'd take her.
I believe that if Marshall was a typical child
that training him would've been that easy too.
So what is our obstacle, you ask?
Well, at first i just couldn't even get him to sit
on the potty.
Melissa had suggested that M might be uncomfortable
with his legs/feet floating and that the floor
potty where he could be grounded
might work better.
It didn't.
Marshall would sit on thebig potty sometimes,
but it was extremely short lived.
He would push sometimes,
well, fake pushing,
but seemingly understanding his purpose
on there.
I would mainly try to take him first thing in the
morning when i knew his bladder was full.
He caught onto this routine quickly and
wouldn't even come into the
bathroom with me,
nevermind sitting down on the potty.
In all of this,
not once has he left anything for the
toilet's consumption.
So over the past several months,
Marshall will tell me, "peepee" or "poopoo"
either before he goes or after he goes...
or sometimes i think he just says it to get me
to react to him. lol.
When i met with Janel
and i told her our potty training adventures,
she agreed that he is totally ready
but that maybe i need to create an
insentive for him to sit on the potty, and then
use rewards for him for just sitting on the potty.
In that meeting i stated to her that i
strongly believe that if Marshall will go pee
just once, he will understand
what we are trying to do here and it will
be 'smooth sailing' from there.
She felt that was probably true also.
I used the suggestion of buying an electronic game
for Marshall to use while sitting on the potty.
This past week it has been introduced to him...
a Toy Story game
and he loves it!
He will sit on the potty to play it,
sometimes for up to 5 minutes!
Prior to this i was questioning if M had a phobia
about sitting on the potty...
well, that concern no longer exists.
I keep the game in a clear rubbermaid
container with a lid M cannot remove on his own.
This week Marshall has been running to the
bathroom and bringing me the
container more often than i need to take him to
even just try to pee, which is great.
Most of the time,
he will sit on the potty (the big potty)
and play his game and is happy...
but that's all it is, just sitting.
There has been several times where i am
sitting there with him as he plays and i can see
him become uncomfortable and i know
he feels like he has to pee.
He starts to whine and wants to climb off when
he feels it coming.
I try to get him to stay on of course...
i kinda hold him down or bring his attention back
to his game.
"all done" is all M wants.
So i let him get off and put his pull-up back on.
Then he will run into the livingroom
and pee in his diaper.
Then he comes back to me and says, "peepee"
and brings me the game,
so i bring him back onto the potty...
because i don't want to ignore his request even
though i know he's not going to go.
I think i'm doing the right thing.
Anyways...
So this is how the past few days have been and
even this morning.
M pees in his diaper and then wants to sit
on the potty and play his game.
He's a genious really...
he's turned my Toy Story game into a reward
for himself after he pees in his diaper.
Awesome. lol.
Soooooooo...
I'm not sure where to go from here.
I know that Next Step is on board with helping get M
potty trained which is great because
i'm kind of lost at this point.
I'm happy to have gotten him to at least
be comfortable sitting... step one right?!
I will continue to take him to the potty both when
i want him to try,
and when he asks to go.
And maybe one of these times he will pee
by accident! lol.
Seems this my only hope right now.
To be continued.....
hopefully with a success story at the
end of it next time!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Hearing Tests

About a year and a half ago we got Marshall's
hearing checked out at the Health Unit here in Abbotsford.
At that time, we were just starting to look
into M's speech delays, and so one of the first
things that you do is get their hearing checked, obviously.
You want the news that nothing is wrong and that
your child has perfect hearing...
but at the same time,
having them tell you that he is hard of hearing
would give us an answer and perhaps
it is just fluid which can be drained, and then
boom- he'll start talking!
The day of the appointment, i dropped D off at my
sister's and Marshall and i headed in about
15 minutes early. I thought perhaps there
was some paperwork i'd need to fill out and i was hopeful
that since it was first thing in the morning
that they'd take us in early.
They didn't take us in early...
and Marshall was not happy to wait.
I was trying to fill out several pages of paperwork
and M would not sit in the chair.
He was screaming and kept getting off
and running down the hallways.
It was bad.
The immunization area was filled with
babies and parents and
they were all coming over to my little space
to see why this child was screaming
bloody murder.
Their babies were crying from M's racket.
The people who worked there were
venturing out of their offices to see what was
wrong as they watched me chasing
Marshall through the building with
him screaming.
The person doing the testing came out
to the lobby 15 minutes late.
I was not impressed.
Half an hour with an unhappy little boy
and i had no hope of him cooperating in that
hearing testing booth after all this.
I told the technician that i've been waiting
for half an hour and that M was done
being here already.
The tech looked at me and stated,
"We never take patients right at the appointment
time. Typically we get them 15-30 minutes
after their appointment time."
Ummm... what?
How nice for me. Of course, they aren't
going to tell you that they don't get you on time
when they book the appointment. So lame right?
We walked down the hall together,
the hall M and i were all too familiar with
with the past half hour of chasing him down them.
The testing room is tiny... and it was so stuffy
and hot in there.
Marshall and I were already hot from all of the
running and crying (him not me, although i was close-lol),
so the last place either of us wanted to be in
was a stuffy dark box.
M wanted out of there, badly.
After a while he settled down and sat at the table,
he did take to the testing and looked when he heard
noise and when the tv's came on.
Then they tried to put head phones on him.
Ahh yeah, no.
Then they put some device in his ears...
that went over well.
I had to try and restrain him while they did this.
And then we were done...
well, M was done before it began.
They did manage to get a reading on his hearing
but it was not complete.
The tech stated that they got enough of a reading
to know that M's lack of speech is not related
to him not hearing... which is what i expected
as he seemed to hear things at home just
fine. He just didn't always
respond to his name... which we now know is
just because he's in his own world at times.
The tech said that we should bring Marshall in again
in 6 months time to get a complete test.
So that was a year and a half ago.
I have not had any concerns with Marshall's hearing
since then so i have not booked the
dreadful appointment.
But now with M going to school soon,
i figured i should get on top of that and also
get his eyes checked (app. booked in September),
which has never been done.
This past week i took Marshall in
for his second hearing test.
I came in right on time. lol.
M was in a good mood and he held my hand
nicely as we walked into the office.
M wanted up so i picked him up as i spoke to the
girl at the desk.
Marshall had brought a car along and
the lady said, "Oh look! I have a car too!"
She showed Marshall her little VW van she had
and he reached out to grab it and she gave it to him.
Great.
I knew he wasn't going to give it back willingly.
We sat down in the chairs and M actually sat
and played nicely with his 2 cars.
It was quite relaxing for all of 3 mintues :)
Then the tech came to get
us and i tried to trade the secretary's car
out of M's hand for my hand,
real slick like hoping he wouldn't notice...
he noticed.
And then he was screaming
the whole way down to the testing booth.
He didn't want to go in there,
he didn't want to sit down,
he didn't want to play.
So he sat with me crying into my shoulder
and covering my shirt with snot - lovely.
The guy who was trying to get Marshall to
play with him at the table
would not talk to M.
I know we are supposed to be quiet,
but M doesn't know what's going on,
at least try to engage with him to get him
interested in what you're doing!
They did know that M has Autism.
So i just started talking,
and then Marshall became interested
in the spinning of the toy game.
He came off my lap.
He looked when he heard the sounds
and he stopped crying and did that whole portion
of the testing well.
The tech came out of the room
and said that she'd gotten a good reading,
better than the last time.
She said she wasn't even going to try to put
the headphones on as she didn't think
he'd respond well to that.
Smart lady. lol.
The only downfall to not being able to do the
other tests is that we don't know
if M is only hearing out of one ear.
We will go back and try again in a years time.
Marshall can hear.
One less obstacle :)

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Leaving my Baby (Next Step Assessment)

Yesterday i dropped Marshall off for a 2 hour assessment
with Janel from Next Step.
This is the Autism Program that M will start
attending 5 days a week, 2 hours per day.
His first week will be August 8th.
Marshall has seen a lot of different therapists
and has had a lot of testing type things
happen in the past year and a half.
He always does fairly well.
Marshall appears at ease with new faces in a
therapy and intervention environment which is great,
as it's about to get much more
intense for him.
With everything, even the
Autism testing we just went through,
i have been in the room,
i have been there.
This 2 hour session with Janel was a hard one for me...
i had to leave Marshall alone.
I never do that.
I do leave him with family members or in the
church classroom with people i trust,
but here, i really don't know Janel.
I don't know what happens if Marshall gets upset,
or if he starts to act aggressively...
and it's just Janel and M, in a room where the blinds
are closed and the door stays closed...
and i have to walk away.
I have to leave him.
And if things aren't ok when he's there,
he has no language to tell me about it.
I have had some anxiety and lost some sleep
over Marshall not liking this Next Step Program
and wondering how i am supposed to drop
him off somewhere and just trust these people.
Trust them...
with meeting my son's emotional needs,
with dealing appropriately to his tantrums,
with changing his diapers and getting him potty trained.
It also didn't really help me mellow out
when i went onto youtube to view some videos of
children with autism and came
across this horrifying video
of an 8 year old autictic boy who was in a straight jacket,
screaming and trying to free himself...
yeah.
I thought i was going to throw up and turned it off
after about 5 seconds.
It was terrible.
And now my mind wanders.
So when i brought Marshall in to Janel yesterday,
i asked her straight out how she would deal
with M should he be upset or become aggressive.
I told her about the straight jacket.
She gave me all the right answers :)
They do not use straight jackets.
Phew.
I didn't think that they would as that is a thing of the
past, but you don't know until you ask right?!
Marshall and D played in the therapy room which
was really nicely set up and which
M was completely content to play and explore in.
Janel told me that she could tell i was nervous,
but that i shouldn't be.
I knew everything was going to be fine...
well, that he wouldn't die or anything (lol),
but you just don't know cause you're not there and
because this is a first.
Janel told me that i could sneak out this time,
but once Marshall is in the program,
I will have to say proper goodbyes so he will learn
them... which i understand.
(Screaming and pealing him off of me... oh the joy
of the near future! lol. Hopefully not.)
So D and I snuck out and Janel closed the door.
I wanted to just walk down the hallway confidently,
and i knew that if i heard him starting to freak
out that it'd be that much harder to leave...
but i had to stand in the hall and listen a bit.
I didn't listen for long.
I heard M come to the door and try to open it.
Then i waited for the calling of "mama"
and the crying...
but it didn't come!
Then he flicked the lights off and i heard
Janel playing with him.
I started to breath again and walked
down the hallway, in peace.
Two hours later D and I waited in the lobby
for Janel to bring Marshall down.
M came walking through the door and he
was HAPPY!!
All smiles and gave me a hug and Janel
looked happy too. Yeah!
Janel said that M did well, but didn't quite understand
his purpose there and was on his own agenda,
so she only got a good reading on him for
about one hour.
She said that M had a lot of good eye contact
with her which i was happy to hear.
Marshall seems to have great eye contact with me,
so all along when different people have said
that M has bad eye contact,
i didn't really understand what they were talking about.
But in Dr. Brown's report, she stated often
that M looks at mom, and shows mom toys,
but that he would not look at the instructor.
In those sessions i could really see how M avoided
the therapists. So i was really happy to
hear Janel sound kinda surprised at the amount of
eye contact M had with her.
This statement also made me happy because it
meant that Marshall was comfortable, that
he trusted her and enjoyed his time with her...
which means that i can trust her too :)
Basically what Janel is doing is seeing where M's at.
Similar to the Autism testing but much more
detailed.
Her goal is to push him until he fails at everything.
This will give her a strong picture of where M is at
and how to best move forward.
We booked another 2 hour session for M with Janel
to finish up the assessing next week.
Ahhh...
all this worked up worrying and it was all for nothing.
But hey, i'm a parent, i'm a mom, and that's part
of my job right? to worry!
I have a picture with sunshine in it now when i think
about M attending Next Step daily.
He will be ok... and he will do great there.
I am confident of this.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Birthday Parties

We recently attended two little boys' birthday parties.
Both D and Marshall were invited
and I stayed for both events.
Both of these parties were cousins of the kids' so
the parents themselves are very understanding of
Marshall and our struggles at times.
But there are many other parents and unfamiliar
kids, at these two parties anyways,
and Marshall had a hard time.
The one party had 26 kids (crazy eh!)
and was held in a school gym/preschool room.
I knew that there were going to be a lot of gym type
activities including a bouncy castle
so i thought...
open space, room to run, big room=big sound
and the bouncy castle should seal the deal
of a successful time for Marshall.
Ummm... NOT!
He did...ok.
This was the 26 kid party and so there was a lot
of activity which Marshall was ok with
(and is usually ok with).
There were stations set up around the gym
and that's where the challenges started.
There was a photo station where
a mother and daughter team were trying to talk
to Marshall to get him to put on silly clothes and
then to pose for a photo.
He kept running away but they were following him...
these situations are so hard, for me.
I make my i'm sorry face and then state,
"He has Autism and very little language."
Is this my new introduction for my son?
I'm not lovin' it.
Marshall is Marshall.
Marshall is not simply autistic,
but i feel like that's what i'm saying when i say it.
Like i'm the one giving him the label.
I hate that.
Marshall was playing well on his own, well, with me
guiding him around to the different activities
and quite enjoyed the hula hoops.
There were bowling pins and a ball and again,
he did well until he saw other kids playing it and
then it became his mission to run over,
knock their pins over, and steal their ball.
Lovely.
One boy in particular told me right out a few
times, "Your boy is wrecking my game,
he is ruining everything and he won't stop."
Well guy, i am trying to drag him away...
can't you see that!!
I wasn't mad at the little boy,
and i wasn't mad at my little boy either.
They don't understand eachother...
and it saddend me to think that M may never be
understood by other children.
Right now, he's not even understood by half
of the adults he has contact with.
To that child, and to other parents,
Marshall looks like a kid with bad parents.
A kid whose parents must let him get away with
everything.
A kid who has no discipline at home.
A kid who is stared at and called different.
Marshall tried to escape the gym several times and
i had to drag him back screaming.
Then it was snack time which he did well with.
Then all of the kids went outside to
the playground.
Marshall loves playgrounds and has never
struggled with physical activities.
He does however,
struggle with change at times and i didn`t
know if i`d be able to get him to leave the playground.
Well, he took a few minutes longer than the rest of the
kids, but once i started walking away,
he did follow me and was happy...
til we got to the door and he
figured out that i was trying to get him back into
the school.
We went to the classroom to have cake
but Marshall ran off screaming.
I was exhausted and just wanted
to sit and relax a bit.
I sat there with my cake while my sis took
over chasing for a bit, and
I looked around at the 25 other children
as they sat properly at the tables
and ate their cake and used their manners.
Sigh.
Marshall will get there right?
I am hopeful.
But he is not there yet, at least not
on this particular day.
Then during gift time, Marshall just wanted
to grab all of the Cars bags to play with,
and one had a helium balloon attatched to it so that
became a problem,
especially when all of the kids grabbed their gifts
and the balloon became within reach.
Once again,
ALL of the other kids sat near the bday boy and
were anxiously waiting their turn for
him to open their gifts...
and there i sat somewhat restraining Marshall,
hoping he`d get over it and just be happy again.
That didn`t happen.
I asked my dear friend, the mother of the bday boy,
to open our gift first so D wouldn`t be
disappointed as i knew we`d have to leave pretty quick.
M wanted that balloon.
He was screaming for that balloon.
The little boy who brought the balloon didn`t like
Marshall trying to grab the balloon.
All of the kids and the mom`s that were there were
just watching me, and watching my son,
and his tantrum just escaladed.
I told D we needed to go and she is so easy,
bless her heart,
she just said, ok mom!
She walked beside me while i tried to balance
my bag as i pretty much dragged M
screaming all the way
(long hallway and much echoing!)
to the car.
My cousin followed us out with goody bags which
calmed M down somewhat.
So exhausting.
He fell asleep on the drive home.
The second birthday party was at one of those indoor
play places. The place was packed with kids.
We don't attend those places regularly
so they are unfamiliar.
When we walked in the door,
one of the workers there deemed it necessary
for Marshall, for all kids at the party,
to wear a bracelet.
Well, M didn't want to wear a bracelet.
I was kinda torn cause people were starting to look
over and the worker was trying to talk to
Marshall and explain...
ahhhh...ok Lady.
I just told you that he will NOT
wear socks due to him having Autism and you think
you can explain this bracelet to him?
He was screaming at this point as i was holding
him down so she could strap that stupid thing
to him. He was mad... and i was sweating. lol.
She got it on and then i yanked off M`s sandals
and he ran to the play area, sat down,
and started screaming as he tried to rip the bracelet
off... i went over and ripped the stupid thing off.
Everyone was watching our little show.
During the tantrum, people who were
kinda near us moved away.
It was a 5 minute moment i am happy to forget!
The rest of the time at that party,
Marshall ran through the play area and really
had a blast. He wouldn`t go up to the
food area to sing and have cake when everyone
else did... but he eventually, on his own,
wandered up the stairs and so we had cake and juice
after everyone else was done.
Then we came down the stairs, played for a bit longer,
and then we had to leave.
I gave my 5 minute countdown warnings each time
Marshall and D came out of the play area.
Then when i counted, one more minute, one more time...
M didn`t come out of the play structure.
Turkey.
So..... i tried to call him out - yeah right.
Eventually he came down to the bottom and i had to
race over and grab him out.
He was not happy with me.
I told him we were all done and he got mad.
Then i tried to put on his sandals... he fought me.
Then i dragged him to the front door screaming...
and of course, had quite the audience as we walked
through the door and walked to the car.
Ahhh... strapped in the carseat.
I can breathe again.
I wonder to myself...
is this just plain maddness that i even try?
It`s hard on Marshall,
and it`s hard on me,
and these birthday parties are so exhausting
by the end...
and leaving on such a terrible note is not fun.
I don`t know.
I want to try and live our lives as normal as
possible, to not let Autism affect
every part of our lives.
But i`m coming to terms with the fact
that our lives don`t end because of this diagnosis...
they do however,
change how we live our lives.
Accepting that feels easy some days...
and others, it is so very hard.
But we will not give up on birthday parties yet!
I will ask a lot of questions and
definitely weigh all of the options before i tackle
another one with Marshall though.
We shall see.

Official Autism Report

I have recieved Marshall's official Autism Report. It was 11 pages long.
I wrote a lot about how we got to this point and how Marshall
developed as a baby and what not, so i have not included those
parts below, or the recommendations moving forward.
Below is the Psychology Assesment which very specifically
explains the details that make Autism a part of Marshall's life.
Thought you might like to read it from a perspective
that is not my own :)
As a side note, i hope you don't mind reading this centered.
I have always had difficulty with making paragraphs, or breaks
in my writing once it's published, so i find it
easier to read if i just centre it!

Psychology Assessment:
Test Results: Developmental Review / Autism Symptom Review The Autism Diagnostic Interview-Revised (ADI-R) was completed
with Marshall's mother. She provided the following information
regarding Marshall's developmental history
and current symptom presentation.
With regard to his communication skills, as noted, Marshall's speech
and language development has been significantly delayed.
He has just started using single word speech on a regular basis.
It is often hard to know what he wants. He sometimes
will just go and get what he wants and occasionally uses pointing.
There is some use of another's hand as a tool.
He will also pull parents to things he wants but then just stand there.
He will point at objects of interest. He rarely uses gestures
such as nodding or shaking his head for “yes” and “no”.
He will wave at others and clap his hands.
He rarely imitates other but will copy things he sees on t.v.
During his play, he is generally quiet. He has started making
some noises when pushing cars. With regard to his social development,
there have been ongoing concerns with eye contact
but improvement has been noted in the past year as this
issue has been specifically targeted in interventions with him.
Social smiling is noted at times but only with very familiar people.
Showing of objects has occurred recently and this
behaviour as been specially worked on with him.
With this support and intervention,
he has been showing things to his mother and this is
sometimes coordinated with eye contact. Marshall likes
running outside, going on the trampoline, and playing with bubbles.
He likes climbing on things.
He will get excited about activities and will jump up and down and smile when excited.
There is limited shared enjoyment with others.
As noted, he is often quiet during play and play is solitary.
He engages in some pretend play and will feed a doll.
He does not share toys with others but sometimes shares food.
He does not offer comfort to others but if someone is upset,
he will come to his mother for comfort for himself.
He does show a range of emotions which are connected
to the situation. His response to others is variable.
Sometimes he will run and greet familiar people
but other times he will not respond.
He likes to be tickled by others and play social games.
He will run and follow other children around but often
plays in his own way. He will not respond if other
children approach him. With regard to the presence of restricted, repetitive,
and stereotyped patterns of behavior,
no unusual preoccupations are noted or a circumscribed interest.
There is engagement in repetitive play.
He will line up objects or organize objects in certain ways.
He will organize puzzles so that the edges are lined up in a specific way.
There is lots of peering at objects from different angles.
For a period of time, he would only play with toys on a table
so he could peer at objects along the table edge.
He has been very focused on wheels on objects
and will spin wheels repetitively.
He will line up cars in specific patterns along the end of his bed
and can get upset if they are rearranged.
He has a particular interest in very small objects such as pieces of lint.
His play has improved a bit recently and he also
engages in some functional play with toys.
There are some rituals around bedtime and he needs certain
objects piled up in his bed before sleeping.
His cups have to be on a certain spot on the table
and if it is moved, he will move it right back.
He likes the feel of certain textures.
There is no history of hand or finger mannerisms.
He does engage in some spinning. In sum, given the information provided by Marshall's mother,
scores on the ADI-R fell above autism spectrum cut-offs
(in the autistic range) for
Qualitative Abnormalities in Reciprocal Social Interaction
and Qualitative Abnormalities in Communication
(scored for Nonverbal subject).
The score for Restricted, Repetitive, and
Stereotyped Patterns of Behavior fell right at the cut-off.
Assessment of Child's Presentation and Behavior
The Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule – 
was completed with Marshall.
With regard to his language and communication,
Marshall engaged in occasional use of single words
and used a couple of phrases which were not used within
context or to communicate with others.
He was noted to jabber or engaging in his own gibberish speech.
He did say “hello” when talking into a toy phone.
He repeated the phrase “open for close” when playing with a pop-up toy.
Intonation was somewhat flat when stating these phrases.
He often echoed questions asked of him rather than answering.
He engaged in a repetitive "tica, tica" noise at times.
No pointing or use of other nonverbal gestures was observed.
He did not make requests but would whine and cry when
he wanted something.
At times, he would just take the object he wanted
out of the examiners' hands.
He did not imitate actions of the examiner. With regard to his reciprocal social interactions,
Marshall was often nonresponsive to attempts
to engage with him.
He did not respond to his name being called by the examiner
on multiple occasions but did respond to his
name being called by his mom.
Eye contact was minimal or at times was used in an odd manner
(excessive staring at examiner's face).
There was no joint attention to activities or toys.
He did not respond to social smiling.
Facial expressions were not used to regulate social interactions.
He did not engage in play with the examiner and it was difficult to have a sense of
shared enjoyment in activities.
He did enjoy exploring a variety of toys on his own.
He showed some objects to his mother and to the examiner
but eye contact was not consistently integrated with this.
He did bring an object (balloon) over the examiner to
repeat an activity with it but put the object directly into
the examiner's mouth without making eye contact
or other verbal request.
There was some use of other's body as a tool.
In general, Marshall was very self-directed
and significant tantrum behaviour was noted when
having to switch activities. With regard to his play behaviors, as noted, Marshall did explore
the toys and played with cause-effect toys.
He engaged in significant peering behaviour with toys.
He would lie on the floor at times to peer at toys in a specific manner.
Hand mannerisms were noted and he would often
engage in some hand posturing while peering at toys.
He engaged in some brief pretend play (saying hello into a toy phone).
He did engage in some brief imitation of functional
use of toys (hops frogs, flies plane) but did not make
accompanying noises spontaneously.
Some spinning while observing toys was noted. In sum, scores on the ADOS fell in the autistic range
in both the Communication and
Reciprocal Social Interaction domains.

Assesment of Child's Presentation and Behavior
(Note: A percentile indicates a child’s standing relative
to other children of the same age.
For example, the 50th percentile means that the child
scored as well as 50 children out of 100 of the same age.
Percentiles that reflect the average range are from
about the 25 to the 75th.)
Given the developmental delays and language delays,
Marshall was administered the Mullen Scales of Early Learning
in order to assess his current skill level.
Scores are provided with regard to Visual Reception,
Fine Motor skills, and Receptive and Expressive Language skills.
Marshall scored as follows: Overall, Marshall's early learning or cognitive development
fell in the very low range, at the 1st percentile for his age group.
His score fell in the range associated with a
moderate developmental delay. With regard to his visual processing or visual problem-solving skills,
overall, Marshall's skills fell around the 14 month level.
He was able to look for hidden objects.
He showed interest in a book and flipped through pages
but did not attend to specific pictures in the book.
He could complete an inset puzzle of basic shapes.
He had a hard time demonstrating object associations
(i.e., pretending to drink from a cup, putting a brush on his head).
He was not able to match or sort objects.
He could not nest a set of varying sized cups
from smallest to largest. With regard to his fine motor skills, his skills fell around
the 22 month level. He was able to turn pages in a book
and put blocks in and out of a container.
He could put coins in a slot.
He was able to imitate drawings of vertical and horizontal straight lines.
He could stack a few blocks. With regards to his receptive language skills,
abilities fell around the 16 month age level.
Autism symptoms significantly affect his responsiveness
to language and others speaking to him.
He did respond to his name if used by his caregiver but not
when used by others. He did give a toy upon request but did not
follow other directions and instructions.
He does understand inhibitory words such as "no" and "stop".
He could identify some pictures in books but not action words
(i..e, who is sleeping? eating?).
He did not understand various directional or
spatial concepts (in, on, under, behind). With regards to his expressive language skills,
abilities fell around the 17 month age level.
He used single word speech.
He does jabber with inflection at times but does not
combine vocalization well with gestures.
He could name a few common objects presented to him.
As noted, he used some phrases but these words seemed
to be stated as one word rather than putting these three
words together himself. Speech articulation concerns were noted.
He did use the word “mine” but other
pronouns were not noted.
He is not counting.
Visual-Motor Functioning
Visual-motor integration skills were assessed 
and fell in the low average range,
at the 18th percentile but were an area of relative strength for him.
His age-equivalency score was 2 years, 7 months of age.
He imitated the drawing of a circle, vertical lines,
and horizontal lines. He was not able to copy these figures on his own.
Marshall used both his right and left hand on drawing tasks.
He had a whole-fisted grasp of the pencil.
Pencil control is just emerging and he had some
difficulties in this regard.
Adaptive Behaviour  
A variety of everyday skills are assessed
including communication skills,
social skills, and daily living skills.
Parents rate what children are never, sometimes,
and always able to do.
Marshall scored as follows:
Marshall's parents reported overall significantly delayed development
of adaptive behavior skills and the
Adaptive Behavior Composite fell at the 2nd percentile for his age.
His score fell in the range associated with
mild developmental delays.
Communication skills fell in the Low range,
below the 1st percentile for his age.
Marshall understands the words “yes” and “no”.
His response to his name is inconsistent.
He can point to some major body parts and some
common objects in books.
His response to directions is variable.
He is not interested at this point in listening to stories or books.
He has just recently been saying “Mama” and
wanting to call others by a name.
He will say “dad” only if copying after his sister says this.
He will point to things he wants.
He is starting to repeat some single words and says some one word requests.
Phrase speech is not yet established.
He is not identifying letters or numbers yet.
Daily Living skills fell in the Moderately Low range,
at the 4th percentile for his age.
He can drink from a cup and use utensils.
He is not toilet trained.
He can take off clothes and pull up pants with elastic waistbands.
He is not able to do zippers or buttons.
He is sometimes aware of hot objects but continues to go close to it
and needs reminders.
He is not interested in helping with chores
and gets upset when asked to clean up things.
He understands what a phone is for
but does not talk into a phone.
His mother notes that this is confusing for him.
His behaviour in the car is appropriate and he sometimes
stays on the sidewalk when walking in the community.
He is not counting.
He does not turn on the t.v. himself or use a computer.
Socialization skills fell in the Moderately Low range,
at the 4th percentile.
Symptoms of autism significantly affect social interactions.
At play groups, he has generally shown no awareness
of the other children there.
There has been some improvement over the past year
and he will allow others to interact with him more.
He will sometimes follow other kids or watch them.
He sometimes shows objects to others.
He does not initiate interactions with other children.
He does not imitate others.
He does show preference for familiar people a
nd is affectionate with his family.
He does come to his mother for comfort when upset
or when he needs something.
He has a hard time with sharing or taking turns.
He is not engaging in make believe play.
It can be hard to transition Marshall from one activity to another.
It depends on what he is doing or if he is ready to switch activities.
He is learning to say “thank-you”.
Motor skills fell in the Moderately Low range,
at the 7th percentile for his age.
Marshall can run smoothly.
He is throwing and kicking balls.
He has difficulty with catching balls.
He is just starting to pedal a tricycle.
He will climb on playground equipment.
In terms of fine motor skills,
he can turn pages in a book and stack blocks.
He does not build other three-dimensional structures with blocks.
He has difficulty opening doorknobs or unwrapping small objects.
He can complete inset puzzles.
He has difficulty with holding a pencil appropriately or using scissors.
Behavioural and Emotional Functioning
With regard to externalizing difficulties,
the Hyperactivity fell in the “at-risk” range (95th percentile).
Marshall is often unable to slow down and has poor self-control.
He has difficulties with waiting to take turns and being overly active.
He often has tantrums.
The Attention Problems scale fell in
the clinically significant range (97th percentile).
Marshall has a very short attention span and is very easily distracted.
He has difficulties listening to directions and
paying attention to others when they are speaking.
The Aggression scale fell within normal limits and
significant concerns were not noted in this regard.
In talking with Marshall's mother, she noted that Marshall does engage
in significant tantrum behaviour when he wants something
or things do not go his way.
He is not usually aggressive to others, however.
He is very hyperactive and cannot sit in circle time activities.
He will run off on his own and needs to keep moving.
With regard to internalizing difficulties,
the Anxiety scale fell within normal limits.
The Depression scale fell in the “at-risk” range (89th percentile)
given difficulties with emotional regulation.
He often pouts, whines, or cries easily.
He changes moods quickly and is very easily frustrated.
Autism symptoms and communication difficulties
also have a significant effect on mood at this point.
The Atypicality scale fell in the
clinically significant range (98th percentile).
Marshall often seems unaware of others and often babbles to himself.
He often says things that do not make sense or fit the context.
He sometimes is confused or can stare blankly.
The Withdrawal scale fell in the “at-risk” range (84th percentile).
He does not make friends and often avoids other children.
He refuses to join group activities.
Summary:
Marhsall is a 3 year old boy who was referred for an assessment
by physician Dr. Alan Moore for suspected autism spectrum disorder.
The results of the current assessment found that
Marshall does meet the DSM-IV-TR
(Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorder,
Fourth Edition, Text Revision)
criteria for a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder,
specifically Autistic Disorder.
These findings were based on clinical interviews,
review of developmental history, and interactions and
observations of Marshall, including the use of standardized
instruments for the assessment of autism symptoms.
He presents with the triad of symptoms diagnostic
of an autistic disorder which include impairments
in the development of social interactions skills, impairments in the
development of communication skills (verbal and nonverbal),
and the presence of restricted and
repetitive patterns of interests and behavior.
Developmentally, Marshall's current functioning falls
in the range associated with a moderate developmental delay
or impairment, at the 1st percentile for his age group.
Parent reports of his adaptive behavioral functioning at home
are generally consistent with the cognitive and developmental findings,
and fell at the 2nd percentile for his age.
On the Mullen Scale of Early Learning,
visual information processing skills fell at the 14 month age level.
Fine motor skills fell at the 22 month age level.
Expressive and receptive language skills are delayed and fell at
the 17 and 16 month age level.
Communication skills are significantly impacted by his
autism symptoms at this point.
Visual-motor integration skills were an area of relative strength
and fell just below average on a drawing task.
Given developmental functioning at this time,
a moderate developmental delay is noted for Marshall.
Given his young age and the severity of his autism symptoms,
reassessment is recommended in a few years time to
monitor his progress in this regard.
Of note, Marshall has been making improvements recently in
both his language skills and willingness to engage more with others.
Behaviourally, there are significant concerns for Marshall.
Parents report significant concerns with hyperactivity
and low attention span at this point.
He is extremely active and has poor self-control.
He engages in tantrum behaviour when he does not get what he wants
or has to be directed by others.
He is easily frustrated and has difficulties regulating his emotions.
He is not aggressive with others, however.
During the assessment, he exhibited similar concerns
and had significant difficulty with transitions and
direction being given to him by others.
Marshall does love being outside and engaging in active play.
I, Sonja, agree with the findings of Dr. Brown's report. Reading this i was surprised and somewhat depressed at Marshall's percentages on the scales. I knew he was behind, but to say that he is at 1% on many levels seems sad and not hopeful sounding. Also, the results showing 'at risk' range for depression was surprising to me. Anyways, it was a moment of sadness followed by happiness that we can now move forward getting Marshall so much help to give him the best life we can!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Swimming Pool

In past years, we have set up our 3 foot deep pool in our backyard.
Last year Marshall did enjoy going in the pool... naked.
He didn't quite understand being in water and wearing
any sort of clothing or diaper, understably so
when all you really know is a bath.
We do take our kids to the public pool, but not very often.
M wouldn't swim or even float in the pool at home, but he
enjoyed just walking around and
mostly enjoyed when i went in the pool with him
and 'swam'.
He held on for dear life. lol.
He was tense and a bit panicky, but i could get him
to smile and he had a good time in the pool.
After the past year with Marshall having such negative
experiences with bathing, i questioned even
putting up the pool this year...
and also the fact that our fenced backyard,
the yard where M can run free and is safe in even if
i'm not right there, would disappear
if the pool was set up.
He LOVES being outside, and i love that my kitchen
window looks right into the yard and he is easy
to watch while i cook or clean up.
So.... the pool is not getting set up this year.
My Uncle has an inground pool in his fenced backyard
which we haven't taken advantage of much
over the years,
BUT...
this year my sister and I have decided
that we will accept the always open invite and really
take advantage of it.
We have used the pool twice so far with
our kids this summer.
The first visit, Marshall was freaking me out
as he would run around the pool and i wasn't sure
if he would just jump in suddenly.
It was a new environment so he was a little overwhelmed
and there was a lot of "no" coming out of my mouth.
"No touching" (pulling flowers)
"No throwing" (rocks and leaves into the water)
"No climbing" (slide ladder)
"No inside" (going into the house)
"No running"...
You catch my drift!!
So, it's fair to say that figuring out the boundaries
and all that was a struggle for Marshall.
He was mad and was yelling a lot,
and crying along with the yelling somewhat.
I did throw a life jacket on him right when we
got there which he fought but was ok with once it was on,
so my panic level could relax a little.
He did try to take off his swim shorts but lucky
for me he just got over that idea fairly quickly.
I tried to get Marshall to sit on the steps, the
entry into the pool...
he didn't want to.
Then i thought, heck, i'm just gunna drag him into the
water with me, once he's in he'll see how warm it
is and he'll understand this is supposed to be FUN!
So i got into the pool and pulled him in with his life jacket.
He was pissed. lol.
I tried to get him to smile and swung him around as
he clung to me...
he didn't smile.
Last year we visited an inground pool and he clung to
my husband but he really liked it.
This time,
he was literally trying to climb me to get out.
He was screaming and crying.
It was a train wreck...
and i was hoping that my Aunty and Uncle's hair clients
couldn't hear him in the basement!
Marshall was really worked up from crying
and he went and sat in the large recliner
chair near the pool. My sis who is always great with
M and who helps whenever she can,
went over to him and sat at the end of the chair and
rubbed his legs.
Almost instantly we both saw him relax and
start to get tired eyes.
It didn't take long before Marshall was out like a light.
He slept there for about an hour which allowed
the girls to swim and my sis and i to
relax and just visit without the busyness and
unhappiness of Marshall.
So overall, the first pool day
was kind of a FAIL for Marshall.
BUT...
fail does not mean we do not try again!
Well, sometimes it does. lol.
But not this time :)
The following week my sis and i along with our
5 kids all went to the pool.
Marshall's big sister B was along this time, she is 12 and
confident in the water.
We got on M's life jacket and he tried to do
some of the same things as the time before...
throwing things in the water mostly.
I told him "no", and he didn't really fight me as i
believe he remembered and knew that it was
no from last time.
I brought a few other things along this time, things
that he could play with on the stairs was my hope.
I brought a little boat.
Marshall ran around the yard and got mad a bit
when i tried to get him to come to the poolside.
We tried to set him up for nap which looked like it
might work again, but it didn't.
Then I sat on the edge of the pool and started splashing
my legs in the water.
M thought it was cool and he mimicked me.
He was laughing, and smiling!
I gave him his boat and very cautiously
he layed down on the ground and played with the boat
in the water.
Yeah!
B wanted me to play in the water with her so my
sis took over with the splashing and boat game.
Then i got Marshall to come around to the stairs with
his boat... and he did... and he sat down!
He was pretty excited that he could sit there and
play and splash and there was no fear.
After a while,
I decided to try and get him into the pool.
It's always scary when things are going so well,
to try and push M a little more, but it's
completely impossible when he's unhappy,
so try we must!
I bought Marshall a boat-buddie.
He sits in the mesh so his legs are in the water
and he is surrounded on top by 2 different floaties with mesh
inbetween so he can see the water and play with it.
He fought me a little to get him into it,
but once he was in the pool,
he was happy!!
I dragged him around the shallow end and he was
laughing... it was great. He was ok to get a little
splashed in the face too!
It was getting close to time to leave, so B helped
out and continued to play with Marshall in his boat-buddie.
M was ok with that... which he isn't always.
I made two trips to the car.
Marshall was doing so well with B.
We took him out of the boat-buddie to get dried off,
but he wanted to go back in with just
his life jacket.
He reached out to Brooke and he let her take him
back in!!! Yeah for progress!
He was ok to come out (no tantrum) and get
dressed. We left the pool that day and I was happy.
It was a good day.
I'm really excited to see how our next visit will go
as the last one was so positive!
A big thanks to my Auntie and Uncle who
are allowing us to help Marshall overcome
his fears and anxieties of being in the water.
M's last bath with his sister D, he sat in
and played for half an hour... a longer length of time
than he has been staying in recently. Yeah!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Canada Day

Every year our family ventures out to the main strip in Abbotsford, South Fraser Way, and gathers with other family and friends to watch the Canada Day Parade. Last year i had just bought a double Bob stroller and the two little ones sat in there the whole time. If it had not been for that stroller, i would not have even attempted to take Marshall along. I thought last year when he was 2, that he would really enjoy the music and of course, all of the cars and emergency vehicles as they honked their horns and had all their lights flashing. Well, the parade barely started, it was just past 11am, and M fell asleep!! He wasn't even napping every day at this point and if he did, it was around 1pm so the whole thing of him taking a nap was just strange. Anyways, point is, he did not experience the parade at all.
I had decided a while ago already that i would try to take both kids again this year. We were going to be sitting with several other families, all of whom have kids ranging from ages 3-8. I knew that if i brought the stroller, M would be the only kid in one and he would not be content to watch all of the other kids sitting on the curb and running out to the road when candy was tossed their way. So i decided that i would grab 2 little plastic chairs and maybe i could convince M to stay sitting in one of them beside his sister. My husband is off of work today, but we are doing some big renovations to the front of our home so he needed to be at home taking advantage of the day... so i was flying solo for the parade.
So this morning we got up and put on our red t-shirts, put on sunscreen, got out our Canada flags, packed a few snacks and the chairs, and headed to the parade. Oh, i must mention that i had some Canada tattoos from a years back that i found so we put some of those on... M even let me put one on him :) We got to the parking lot and M for whatever reason, started whining and crying. He was eager to get out of his carseat. He was starting to freak out about me not taking him out quickly enough... like he thought i was gunna leave him in there (i have never, and would never do that... fyi)! My brother in law came to my van to help with the kids which i was greatful for as we had to walk through cars and people to get to our spot while carrying everything and making sure the kids were by my side. My BIL took Marshall out of his carseat and tried to carry him but M got mad and just wanted me... he always wants me. So i took M from him and tried to get him to walk holding my hand, which he did willingly. Then we got to our spot and Marshall decided he didn't want to be there... i don't know what was up, but he was mad. He didn't want to sit in the chairs but our group had some blankets curbside so i tried to get him to sit with me there which he kinda did, crying and burying himself into me. Then he decided he wanted to venture out onto the road which would be ok if he'd stay close, but once he gets an ounce of freedom, he bolts. He did this as i expected he would and i got up and grabbed him and brought him back to the blanket... and that made him unhappy. Then he noticed that the people on the other side of the street were getting balloons. Marshall loves balloons. He started reaching and saying, "loon! loon!" and my sister offered to go across and get him one, but i declined. Why, you ask? Past experience had me think twice. I'm sure everyone in our area was wondering why also as when i didn't get M one, his screaming escaladed and he was trying to break free of my grip. Marshall doesn't fully understand a helium balloon. He loves that they float. At home in the house, he can let it go and then pull the string down (or ask for help to get it if it's too short). This is a game he always plays. Marshall will not allow a balloon to be tied to his wrist, or to anything for that matter. He gets really mad if you even try. I know he will be so excited to get a balloon, and then within seconds, he will let it go and not realize what letting it go really means... that it is gone, lost forever. I knew that once this happened, M would be less angry and more sad.... or a terrible combination of both. So today, Marshall did not get his balloon. The first 45 minutes of us being there and waiting for the parade to come our way, were pretty much a disaster.
Then the parade came and the police department led the group. Flashing lights and sirens... M was interested. He stopped fighting me and just sat with me. It was nice. He ate candy, he waved his flag, he enjoyed it!... and when he's enjoying it, it means the rest of us are too :) Marshall's favourite take home? The Gideon Bible. lol. D showed it to him when she got one and he had it in his hands the rest of the time, flipping the pages and showing me the cover of his little book. He took it to bed with him tonight :) At the end of the parade, Marshall let me take his hand and we calmly walked to the van with a little help from my cousin who was holding D's hand for me. Always nice to leave on a good note! Maybe next year he will know why we are there and what's going on and he won't get so upset right off the bat... we'll see.