In past years, we have set up our 3 foot deep pool in our backyard.
Last year Marshall did enjoy going in the pool... naked.
He didn't quite understand being in water and wearing
any sort of clothing or diaper, understably so
when all you really know is a bath.
We do take our kids to the public pool, but not very often.
M wouldn't swim or even float in the pool at home, but he
enjoyed just walking around and
mostly enjoyed when i went in the pool with him
and 'swam'.
He held on for dear life. lol.
He was tense and a bit panicky, but i could get him
to smile and he had a good time in the pool.
After the past year with Marshall having such negative
experiences with bathing, i questioned even
putting up the pool this year...
and also the fact that our fenced backyard,
the yard where M can run free and is safe in even if
i'm not right there, would disappear
if the pool was set up.
He LOVES being outside, and i love that my kitchen
window looks right into the yard and he is easy
to watch while i cook or clean up.
So.... the pool is not getting set up this year.
My Uncle has an inground pool in his fenced backyard
which we haven't taken advantage of much
over the years,
BUT...
this year my sister and I have decided
that we will accept the always open invite and really
take advantage of it.
We have used the pool twice so far with
our kids this summer.
The first visit, Marshall was freaking me out
as he would run around the pool and i wasn't sure
if he would just jump in suddenly.
It was a new environment so he was a little overwhelmed
and there was a lot of "no" coming out of my mouth.
"No touching" (pulling flowers)
"No throwing" (rocks and leaves into the water)
"No climbing" (slide ladder)
"No inside" (going into the house)
"No running"...
You catch my drift!!
So, it's fair to say that figuring out the boundaries
and all that was a struggle for Marshall.
He was mad and was yelling a lot,
and crying along with the yelling somewhat.
I did throw a life jacket on him right when we
got there which he fought but was ok with once it was on,
so my panic level could relax a little.
He did try to take off his swim shorts but lucky
for me he just got over that idea fairly quickly.
I tried to get Marshall to sit on the steps, the
entry into the pool...
he didn't want to.
Then i thought, heck, i'm just gunna drag him into the
water with me, once he's in he'll see how warm it
is and he'll understand this is supposed to be FUN!
So i got into the pool and pulled him in with his life jacket.
He was pissed. lol.
I tried to get him to smile and swung him around as
he clung to me...
he didn't smile.
Last year we visited an inground pool and he clung to
my husband but he really liked it.
This time,
he was literally trying to climb me to get out.
He was screaming and crying.
It was a train wreck...
and i was hoping that my Aunty and Uncle's hair clients
couldn't hear him in the basement!
Marshall was really worked up from crying
and he went and sat in the large recliner
chair near the pool. My sis who is always great with
M and who helps whenever she can,
went over to him and sat at the end of the chair and
rubbed his legs.
Almost instantly we both saw him relax and
start to get tired eyes.
It didn't take long before Marshall was out like a light.
He slept there for about an hour which allowed
the girls to swim and my sis and i to
relax and just visit without the busyness and
unhappiness of Marshall.
So overall, the first pool day
was kind of a FAIL for Marshall.
BUT...
fail does not mean we do not try again!
Well, sometimes it does. lol.
But not this time :)
The following week my sis and i along with our
5 kids all went to the pool.
Marshall's big sister B was along this time, she is 12 and
confident in the water.
We got on M's life jacket and he tried to do
some of the same things as the time before...
throwing things in the water mostly.
I told him "no", and he didn't really fight me as i
believe he remembered and knew that it was
no from last time.
I brought a few other things along this time, things
that he could play with on the stairs was my hope.
I brought a little boat.
Marshall ran around the yard and got mad a bit
when i tried to get him to come to the poolside.
We tried to set him up for nap which looked like it
might work again, but it didn't.
Then I sat on the edge of the pool and started splashing
my legs in the water.
M thought it was cool and he mimicked me.
He was laughing, and smiling!
I gave him his boat and very cautiously
he layed down on the ground and played with the boat
in the water.
Yeah!
B wanted me to play in the water with her so my
sis took over with the splashing and boat game.
Then i got Marshall to come around to the stairs with
his boat... and he did... and he sat down!
He was pretty excited that he could sit there and
play and splash and there was no fear.
After a while,
I decided to try and get him into the pool.
It's always scary when things are going so well,
to try and push M a little more, but it's
completely impossible when he's unhappy,
so try we must!
I bought Marshall a boat-buddie.
He sits in the mesh so his legs are in the water
and he is surrounded on top by 2 different floaties with mesh
inbetween so he can see the water and play with it.
He fought me a little to get him into it,
but once he was in the pool,
he was happy!!
I dragged him around the shallow end and he was
laughing... it was great. He was ok to get a little
splashed in the face too!
It was getting close to time to leave, so B helped
out and continued to play with Marshall in his boat-buddie.
M was ok with that... which he isn't always.
I made two trips to the car.
Marshall was doing so well with B.
We took him out of the boat-buddie to get dried off,
but he wanted to go back in with just
his life jacket.
He reached out to Brooke and he let her take him
back in!!! Yeah for progress!
He was ok to come out (no tantrum) and get
dressed. We left the pool that day and I was happy.
It was a good day.
I'm really excited to see how our next visit will go
as the last one was so positive!
A big thanks to my Auntie and Uncle who
are allowing us to help Marshall overcome
his fears and anxieties of being in the water.
M's last bath with his sister D, he sat in
and played for half an hour... a longer length of time
than he has been staying in recently. Yeah!
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