Marshall's World at Home

There`s been a lot of cool things going on

here at home lately.

Marshall is doing really well everywhere he goes!

... and let me clarify that i mean 'really well... for Marshall'.

He does and always will have Autism.

We are in month 5 since the diagnosis and more recently,

Marshall is just becoming so independent.

It is awesome... most days ;)

I've been making a list of all the little things

that he is doing, doing differently, doing better lately,

and i am happy to share them with you!

Get ready for a lot of exclamation points -

i can't help myself!! :D

Marshall has learnt how to ride a tricycle

using the pedals!

He is helping me do laundry and willingly put his

favourite blanket in to be washed when i requested it

on 2 occaisions now!!

Marshall's original blue blanket knitted by Nana

fell apart months back.

She made him a new one...

which he rejected immediately. lol.

We've been trying to trick him but it hasn't worked.

His old blanket didn't even cover him at night

anymore. Then randomly one night,

he decided to make the trade all on his own.

I couldn't believe it when i saw the new blanket laying

on my kitchen floor the next morning!

The old one got one last wash and is now in hiding for life :)

Marshall has discovered his love for wa-wa's,

otherwise known as waffles.

This is not profound, but definitely a loved

and muched talked about food option for him

in the morning these days. lol.

My kids never seem to have actual pajamas for bed.

I have some hand me downs from my oldest

for my younger daughter,

but Marshall is usually naked.

Now with fall settling in, he needs to be wearing

something more than nothing at bed time.

In the past, i've just thrown on an older

muscle shirt or tshirt on him.

Well, i tried that last week and M was freaking out!

I guess he thought i was dressing him for the

day or something, when all he wanted to

do was go to bed. lol.

I went out and bought him a pajama set,

Two actually as they were on sale.

Marshall rejected those at first too,

and the first night only slept with the bottoms on.

But the second night, he let me put on his shirt

and he fell asleep wearing it :)

Now, he loves his pj's!

It is no longer a confusing thing for him,

which was mostly my own fault.

Bed time all together has improved by leaps and bounds!!

Brushing Marshall's teeth has looked like this

most of his life: Chase him down, sometimes he

opens his mouth, sometimes he doesn't

and i have to fight him,

but they get brushed one way or another,

and the toothpaste is swallowed.

Suddenly, Marshall is interested in brushing his teeth at the sink!!

He will open his mouth bigger if i show

him in the mirror by opening mine.

He likes to watch me brush,

and he is a big fan of the spitting part!! lol.

He will take several sips of water

and spit them out and he is so happy to do so!

Of course, the first time i made a huge deal out of it

and i told him to go and show Daddy his teeth.

Off he ran into the living room beaming from

ear to ear to show off his pearly whites!

Daddy of course, plays it up too for him :)

Marshall is eager and excited and actually runs

into the bathroom when i suggest brushing teeth.

It's great.

Such a big boy!!

Marshall has continued to bathe well.

He is helping me wash him.

His hair is getting on the longer side,

so washing is becoming a bit harder as it just takes

longer. He will be getting a buzz in the next couple

of weeks for sure.

Evenings are great with the routine down pat.

And what is even greater,

is that suddenly Marshall is interested in actually

reading books!!!!!!!!!!

That one gets extra '!!!'

Up until recently, Marshall has only had interest in looking

at the pictures and talking very briefly about what

we see. But now, when his sister goes

to pick out her bedtime book, Marshall picks out his own too!

He even says "book" after showing

Daddy his smile :)

Both the kiddies climb to the top bunk and eagerly

await reading their books together.

Marshall is even waiting to read D's book first,

as long as he can turn the pages, he is happy...

and also, as long as there are not too many words.

But he'll let me read a Franklin book which isn't super short!

Then he gets his book out and we mostly talk about

the pictures, but sometimes he waits until he hears my

`reading voice`for a few sentences and then turns the page!

It has become such a great time with him.

I wondered if he'd ever get to this place.

And just like that, when he decides,

he really can do anything it seems!

He has been requesting for me to "sing"

at bed time every night for the past several weeks.

Just recently he has started to sing along :)

It sounds nothing like what i'm singing,

but it's music to my ears!

Since he is so calm at night time now, i have been

able to start prayers with him.

We do the

Now i lay me down to..."leep"

I pray the Lord my soul to... "keet"

May your love go with me all the..."nigh"

and wake me up with the morning... "ligh"

"A-men!"

M finishes the last word of each line proudly :)

I love it.

I believe i have shared that Marshall can successfully

put on his velcro sandals.

He is now putting on his velcro shoes all by himself!!

He knows to push the tongue down and he lines it

up just right. Pretty cool.

I remember seeing a documentary about a year

ago about a young autistic boy,

and they showed how he had mastered

putting on his shoes...

and for some reason i was moved by how hard

that little boy tried, and then succeded.

And now i can be proud of my son

for accomplishing something that a year ago,

seemed like a lost cause.

How cool is that?!

Marshall is also putting on his seatbelt himself

in the car. He's in a 5 point harness, and as long

as i give him a bit of extra belt,

he does it up all on his own!

and again, proud as ever of himself.

He is becoming so independent lately, it's crazy!

Marshall is trying to say any word we

ask of him lately, and he's even saying words on his

own too!

He has just started making "ch" and "j" sounds.

Words like "orange" actually sound like orange now!

The first word i heard him say with that sound was

"pinching". lol.

After several times of me having to be stern with

him about pinching his sister, and my having

to get right to his level and say, "no pinching",

he repeated it.

I was at a cross roads...

"Yes that's right Marshall, NO pinching,

and good talking Marshall- yeah no pinching-good boy!

Now NO pinching your sister." lol.

Even i had to laugh afterwards.

Besides the pinching, pushing, pestering stuff

that Marshall is still doing at times,

he has been playing really well with his sister lately.

They have started wresting with one another...

and it is hilarious to watch them and to listen

to them laugh together.

He follows every direction she gives him!

Marshall wants to do everything with D.

He will yell for her if she is not right beside

him when going out the door.

It's really sweet.

She tells me every day that she wants to be a

teacher when she grows up because she

loves to teach Marshall.

She will make an awesome teacher...

she already is!

So much of what

Marshall is learning on a social level is from D.

Marshall is saying "lease" (please)

and "kan-ku" (thank you) on his own

without prompting all the time now.

He will call out,

"Mommy!! All done!"

when he wants me to clean up after him.

The other day he was looking at my book and when

he was done with it, he closed it and handed it to me

as he said,

"Here you go Mommy". :O

That one surprised me!

Four words together with purpose and in proper context.

That's my boy!!

Learning and growing every day!

OH!!!

I almost forgot.

Ok, so this was so random and surprising...

We were at my sister's house for Thanksgiving

and Marshall needed to go "pee".

Marshall always sits down to go pee.

Back when we were trying to train him

(before he was ready), we'd try both sitting and

standing. He's watched Daddy a few times.

So anyways, i take him to the washroom

where he strips down his bottom half to nothing.

I turn around to help him shimy onto the potty

only to see him pressing himself against it...standing.

I am shocked. lol. I don`t know what to do,

so i do nothing but observe.

Sure enough, he stands there and starts to pee!!!

He even shifted over when the stream went

to the side! lol.

I couldn`t believe it.

I still can`t believe it.

He did his thing and acted as if this was an every day

occurance! He didn`t look to me for praise

or anything, simply put his clothes back

on and went out to play.

Unbelievable eh?

I went to my family at the table

and told them what just happened and asked them

if anyone had been teaching him this.

They all said no.

My husband said that that morning he had shown

Marshall an example again, but that was it.

Marshall peed again this same way another time

while at Thanksgiving, and then again at home

the same night before his bath.

He has not done it since.

So wierd!!!

This kid is full of surprises... and i love it!

So here you have another post

filled with wonderful things!

Don`t get me wrong, there are still Marshall`s screaming fits,

tantrums and the frustrations

of our daily life here in the Hiebert home,

but all in all we just have

SO much to be thankful for.

Yeah Marshall!!!!!!!!!!

Isaiah 40:30-31

Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

Conference, Meetings, and Reports

This may not be the most interesting read,

but for my own record i'd like to state

some of the 'official' type things

that i've attended and recieved in the past month.

The staff at Next Step attended a 2 day

conference with speaker David Loyst, M.Cs., SLP.

The parents of NS kids were able to attend

the morning session on the first day for free.

The focus of the workshop, the title of it was

Reference and Regulate.

The morning session that i attended was focused on

speech. The whole conference was Autism based.

The main catch phrase

in which David focused on, using many examples

and even video of his own kids' progress was,

'Learn to look. Look to learn'

I really enjoyed this workshop.

David was so easy to listen to and everything that he

spoke about i could relate to with Marshall.

Teaching kids with Autism, kids who lack

focus and observation of the world around them to LOOK,

will automatically teach these kids to LEARN.

Duh right?

Well i never really thought about it before this session.

It makes so much sense... and is a pretty basic concept really.

David talked a lot about how 'our kids' grow,

and how the most important thing in teaching them to

look and to learn, is to first figure out how

to meet them where they already are.

If your focus is trying to get them to where age appropriate

is, you will fail, and also, you will miss important

steps that our kids will not catch along the way,

but that need to be taught.

Example. Marshall is at a 16 month old stage in his language.

If i look at what a typical 3 year old should be doing,

and then try to get Marshall to start using sentences

and what not, joining 2 words together,

he will miss how to label objects and to understand their purpose.

The goal is for him to understand and not just to repeat or

to mimik everything i say.

David stated a lot of statistics and i took some notes.

Here are some of the things i found note-worthy :)

People with ASD are systamizers rather than empathizers.

Study in UK: 70% of 500 were all high-funtioning with

regular IQ's.

ASD has a higher impact on families than any other disability.

High functioning ASD are at big risk for depression

and anxiety and often get a double diagnosis of this.

A 3 year old typical child will look to an adult

when they are 'lost' (fire alarm at school)

and in looking to an adult, they will find calm.

ASD kids are sensory sensitive and have not naturally learned

to look to adults for calming,

because they don't observe these behaviours.

ASD kids will not pickup on sarcasm or facial expressions

to understand that what you say

is not always what you mean.

In order to obtain better language out of our kids,

the focus needs to be on looking and observing

rather than teaching the words themselves.

If we teach them to look,

they will automatically pickup on the language and

behaviours around them.

If you can get to a place where you can just play

with them, therapy is not needed as it will be

taught by default.

We want ASD kids to choose to look,

rather than constant prompting.

(Right now Marshall is still needing much prompting

all across the board).

Play with kids at their brain height,

not their physical height.

The 3 hours were very informative and i was able

to relate everything back to Marshall which

was really great.

I was able to see through David's video studies,

the progress of his kids in one year.

It was so inspiring really.

Some of these kids went from basically no language,

to using full sentences in order to interact...

in just one year!!

Progress, even if it's slow, is just so amazing to see.

I am excited to look back in a years time at Marshall's progress!

***********************************************

I attended a monthly meeting held by the

Fraser Valley Autism Society (FVAS)

back in Spring with my sister.

The focus of that particular meeting was about a newer

type of therapy out there which has

a few names, but can be known as 'Floor Therpy'.

ABA therapy is known to be a desk type of therapy

with rewards for doing tasks.

At this meeting, there was a lot of negative focus on

ABA therapy.

It isn't for every child,

and i had my doubts as to how receptive Marshall

would be to this stricter type of therapy.

NS is ABA focused, but they will pull from other therapies

if their methods are not working,

or you can choose to pull your child out of their program.

Marshall is doing awesome in this type of learning

environment right now.

I have to say that i was mostly worried about Marshall

being 'rewarded' with treats, like a dog or something. lol.

But they use toys and outside playtime as rewards also.

In a most recent report from the OT at NS,

she stated that Marshall needed food reward to get

him going, but once he started working,

he didn't anymore and was happy to have

the praise from his interventionist and a simple high-five

was reward enough.

I gotta tell you, that made me SO happy to hear.

I am so thankful that Marshall is so receptive to praise

and to emotions and that they play

a big part in his life... that they are not something that

needs teaching. :)

Anyways, back to FVAS.

So when i attended with my sister in Spring,

Marshall was not yet diagnosed.

It was a small group of parents, about 8 and then the two of us.

I felt out of place.

After that meeting, i had some serious doubts that M even

had autism. We were going back and forth

with it of course, but most of the parents' stories and examples

were just so beyond where Marshall was at at that time.

I did not attend the next meeting.

After M was diagnosed in June, i recieved a brochure

about their program and i found them on facebook.

In fall now, the meetings started back up.

I talked to my friend Dawnya (who's son is also autistic)

and we decided to attend the meeting together.

It was the introductory meeting for the year.

There were 5 of us total.

To be an official member, there is an annual fee

or a fee for life.

There are many perks to being a member such as

first dibs to free tickets (such as the PNE)

as well as to grant money that is recieved to send kids

to camp and other such things.

With Marshall only being 3, most of these perks just

aren't something he can benefit at this time.

As a member, you are required to volunteer a certain

amount of time as well, which i just do not have right now.

So i will attend the meetings as a non-member

as i learn what it is all about.

Both Dawnya and i learned about many things in our

community that we could be benefiting from with

our sons' diagnosis.

Such as...

We qualify for a handicap parking spot.

(don't see myself taking advantage of that one, at least not right now).

We can pay for our child and get in free to Playland/PNE.

At any Rec Center, i can pay for M and go free as

his attendant.

I can apply for a pass that allows for me to get in free with

Marshall at the movie theatre.

Westjet (airlines) has a policy that i'd need to fill out paperwork for,

but that i could pay for Marshall's seat and mine

would be free.

If we went to Disneyland, we'd get an automatic front

of the line pass with Marshall (for 4 of us).

The ferries also have deals for families with a child with a disability.

All of this info was just great to hear!

Marshall's needs don't allow for me to work at all

anymore. My husband has a good job, but money is tight at times.

Marshall will get to experience so much more

because it is affordable for us.

During this first meeting, we also talked about what the

upcoming monthly meetings will look like.

They will have a lawyer come in and talk to us about

how to set up our wills so that our kids with disabilities

won't have all of their inheritance taken away

by the government.

Also, a meeting will focus on all of the different

tax credits and what not we possibly qualify for, and how

to go about filling out paperwork.

(We are currently waiting for approval of the

Disability Tax Credit which is undergoing

further investigation. I have a feeling we will be declined,

but we will fight for what we believe we are entitled to

based on Marshall's disabilities).

They will have some speakers, and some of the meetings

will just be a time of sharing.

The 3 other Mom's who were at this meeting

had teenage children, so it was a little difficult to really

connect with them. But at the same time,

all of this autism stuff is second nature to them,

so they have a lot of wisdom to share,

and i look forward to learning more about their journeys.

*******************************************

I had a meeting with Janel from Next Step as well

as with Miranda, Marshall's interventionist.

The OT as well as the Speech therapist were not able

to attend this meeting, but their input was relayed

through Janel.

It was a 2 hour meeting that took place instead of

Marshall's regular time slot.

We talked about Marshall's progress.

They have a good read now of Marshall's strengths and

weaknesses, and they follow a booklet,

like a rating system called,

The Assessment of Basic Language and Learning Skills.

It is crazy extensive and detailed.

Miranda is very experienced and effecient.

So i have a computer graph of each category and then

the booklet to look at to correspond why M was

given a 1-2-3 or 4 mark currently.

Each year Marshall is reassessed and a new color

gets added to the grid.

Janel also went over their written assessment and

goals that they have for Marshall going forward.

I agreed with all of the goals,

and they asked for specific input where needed.

Marshall's biggest delay in my opinion is his speech,

so it is definitely a focus, but also, it is a constant

work in progress in every activity that is presented.

It was exciting to actually be able to cross off some (or change) the

goals set out as Marshall has, since the report

was printed a week ago, mastered!!

Such as potty training... well, the pee part anyways.

M is not doing his business at all in the toilet now.

It's been frustrating,

but his OT has told us to be patient and to not

push him too hard.

That is hard to do when he's already gone several times

in the toilet and Marshall

knows his body and when he needs to go! Grr.

He has become a hider.

So i'm pretty much at a loss with it all right now.

I bought him a new toy as incentive,

as recommended by Janel, and

Miranda made him a Social Story based on it and using

the potty for both poo and pee.

He talks about the story, he knows that the reward

is that he gets to play with the toy,

but he doesn't care.

At least not right now.

Back to the meeting...

Marshall is doing really well in a lot of areas,

and of course, still needs work in a lot of areas too.

Miranda said again that Marshall is a very quick

learner and that he is quite smart.

It was a good meeting

and i am happy to be a part of his learning

when he's not in my care :)

*******************************************

In a post i did a month or so ago,

i wrote out the detailed report that i recieved for Marshall

from the OT i believe.

Well, since then i have recieved 3 more reports from 3

different therapists.

This is more than i was expecting!!

So i will not be re-writing every report that i get for

Marshall from this point forward,

but rather, will just focus on some of the more key

acheivements and/or concerns.

The Speech therapist has stated that Marshall is

interacting well with his teachers,

and is using good eye contact.

He is doing 6 piece puzzles on his own.

He is repeating words and short phrases.

She didn't really state anything

about Marshall improving or anything like that.

I know that Marshall's speech on a daily basis

is improving and it has been wonderful to hear!

I already stated that the OT spoke about

Marshall's need for, or rather lack of, rewards.

She wrote that Marshall continues to impress them

with his gross motor abilities, and his awareness

of his body in space.

Marshall is so good at doing things for himself, she writes.

(I have been seeing this more and more and

will share more in the next post which

i'm hoping to get done later on today)

********************************************

So, i think i've covered everything i've been

meaning to touch on for quite some time now,

as far as meetings and such goes anyways!

More later today :)

Thanksgiving

My brother asked me to be a part of the worship team at

our church for Thanksgiving Sunday.

I used to be on a regular rotation,

but Marshall's needs have taken over a lot of the things

i was once involved in in our church.

My brother put out there that he wanted each person

on the team to choose a song that has touched our

lives personally, and also, to pray about possibly

sharing why during the Sunday service.

Hmmmm.

Well, i do a lot of 'sharing' in this blog,

but sharing verbally involves emotions that are definitely

not private, and it's definitely not an easy thing to do.

But God was prompting me.

I prayed for clarity of direction

and it finally came, late the night beforehand.

I really don't know any other way to express myself

except through truth and straight from my heart.

I feel that God has given me a lot to deal

with, especially in this past year.

Those of you who only read this blog,

don't know much else except

that my son has Autism.

Well, Autism is definitely the focus of most of my

writings, but i thought that it was important

that i share with you what i shared with

my church for Thanksgiving.

Here it is.

Music is and always has been,

a big part of my life.

There is one song that from the moment i heard it,

felt as though it was speaking directly to me and to my

life at this exact time.

What if your blessings come through raindrops?

What if your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights

are what it takes to know You're near?

What if trials of this life,

are your mercies in diguise?

This song is called 'Blessings' by Laura Story.

The lyrics are so amazing and so powerful

and i know that they speak not only to me,

but to so many broken souls out there.

It has been a hard year for our family of 5.

So when asked what i'm thankful for,

the instant answers of the past

don't apply in the same way as they once did.

Am i thankful for financial stress?

Am i thankful for a hurting child that i tried to help

but couldn't?

Am i thankful for annual hospital visits?

Am i thankful for Epilepsy?

Am i thankful that life is filled with questions and uncertainties?

Am i thankful for Autism?

Am i thankful that God has given me such a full

plate that i have questioned if he really knew if i was

strong enough,

trusting enough,

had faith enough

to believe in His plan and His plan alone?

When this song comes on the radio now,

my 5 year old says to me,

"Mommy, this is your sad song."

Have i cried to this song?

Maybe a little, ok, maybe a lot.

This song meets me where i'm at...

and will carry me through.

So, what AM i thankful for you ask?

Let me tell you.

I am thankful for my husband.

I am thankful for his job.

I am thankful for food on the table.

I am thankful for my home on earth,

and that there's one waiting for me in heaven.

I am thankful for my kids - B, D and Marshall.

I am thankful for healing,

and knowing that time is in God's hands.

I am thankful for His word,

and for a future that is not mine to worry about.

I am thankful for medication

that prevents and controls seizures and

has allowed my little girl to blossom.

I am thankful for doctors and nurses...

I am thankful for help.

I am thankful for my sister,

my parents,

my family,

my church family,

my friends.

I am thankful for encouraging words.

I am thankful for prayer and support.

I am thankful for patience.

I am thankful for His death and ressurection.

I am thankful for my health.

I am thankful that with Marshall's diagnosis

of Autism, he is getting the therapy

and intervention he needs.

I am thankful that Marshall has had

tremendous progress in such

a short time,

and that there is hope for a bright future.

Yes, my plate is full, but i am thankful

that WITH God I AM

strong enough,

trusting enough,

have faith enough

to believe in His plan and His plan alone.

God's love for me is unconditional,

and for that,

I am thankful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ&feature=related

And then I, along with my brother and sister in law,

sang this song...

or rather, attempted to sing it. :)

I almost made it through, but the words got to me

at the very end.

This was not an easy share.

It definitely made me incredibly vulnerable.

But i really felt like i had no choice.

God is using me in ways i never thought possible.

For what other reason would He

burden me with the things of this world if not to be

able to relate to others?

To be able to share a piece of what we've gone through

as a family...

what we are going through right now.

To be a witness of His strength and love.

To prove to me that with Him,

and only with Him,

I can survive.

What if trials of this life...

the rain, the storms, the darkest nights,

are your mercies in disguise.

God of All Comfort

I really should have made an effort to

post on this blog

the very next day after the last post.

I am doing just fine!!!

I'm sure it will not be the last breakdown i ever have,

and i hope that it will be quite a while

before i go into that 'dark' place again... it can

be quite depressing.

Thankfully, i do not suffer from depression

or anything like that,

and when you look at how Marshall is doing

in the bigger picture of things,

how can i be anything but happy and proud!!

Thank you to those who sent me messages reminding

me of my purpose in this life,

and for encouraging me...

for loving me and my family.

I recieved an email from someone very close to me,

who is not an emotionally open person.

He spoke about how hard it is for him to express

how he feels, even through email,

and that perhaps he should try to (say kind things)

more often so it's not so hard.

It got me thinking about myself a lot.

I don't come from a very open family.

We all have our opinions

and will speak strongly about them. lol.

But we don't say "I love you" often... or ever.

But i know that i am loved by everyone -

but is knowing it the same as hearing it?

I always thought so... but after hearing it this week,

even through email,

i gotta say, that it feels pretty amazing.

It's a strange thing, often a scary thing,

to be vulnerable.

In writing this blog, i write it as my own journal.

It is open.

Everything is laid out.

And honestly, i have considered myself to be

quite closed (in the past) as far as these things are concerned.

God has put it on my heart to

share...

to make myself vulnerable to the world.

To share about our journey,

about my son,

about all of it - both good and hard times.

There have been times when i've struggled but have

been reserved as far as this blog is concerned.

But i felt that in my 'breakdown',

my mourning of the loss of my 'normal' son

this past week,

i needed to share.

I couldn't ignore God's prompting of my heart.

It's not always easy to do.

But it is definitely a lot easier to do via this blog than

it is in person. lol.

If i need to stop typing to just keel over and bawl,

i can do that without an audience...

and last Tuesday, that's what it looked like.

Crying out to God as a lost lamb

is not easy for me.

I am strong.

I've got it together.

I can do this.

I, I, I.

But you know what?

I can't do it alone.

I needed strength beyond all human measure

this past week.

In your weakness, I am strong

says the Lord.

It has been a reminder that i

need to ask and accept His strength daily.

That it doesn't make me weak to admit

that i can't do it on my own...

if anything, it makes me stronger in my faith

and breaks me down before God.

I believe that needs to happen

in order for our eyes, minds and souls to be opened.

Open to His love, His arms.

It is humbling.

A friend of mine passed away in highschool.

She was a musician and wrote this beautiful song

with these lyrics that come to the surface often in my life.

God of all comfort, comfort me.

God of all mercy, come to me.

You heard my voice and rescued me.

Your child i will always be.

Take every day one at a time.

Be thankful that each day you can start fresh.

Learn. Laugh. Love.

Forgive.

Get out of your comfort zone

and let someone in... into your heart and soul.

It very well may be the hardest thing

you ever do,

but i will tell you, it will also be rewarding.

I have been amazed by how many

people have told me how this blog has touched them.

I have so much support on this journey.

Prayer that is much needed.

God's work in me, and my willingness to follow

Him and the passion He has placed on my heart,

has been such a blessing to me.

Thank you for coming along.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Praise be to the God and Father of our

Lord Jesus Christ,

the Father of compassion and the

God of all comfort,

who comforts us in all our troubles,

so that we can comfort those in any trouble

with the comfort we ourselves

have recieved from God.

Picture Day

Today was picture day at ACS, Marshall's preschool.

Last night we picked out the clothes for the morning.

This morning i got up and ironed M's button

up shirt and put gel in Marshall's hair.

I fought with M to get the sleep out of his eyes and

to give his teeth a last minute brush.

He was ready.

He looked handsome... he is handsome!

Off to preschool we went

and the transition of leaving him went well as usual.

Picture taking and Marshall are a bit

of a hit or miss.

I was hopeful this morning.

I wouldn't be there, which sometimes is a good thing.

He would have Mary to guide him,

and a row of other kids to watch and to

follow by example... or so i thought.

I went to pick up Marshall from preschool and the

teachers let me know that the photographer

was late and that i needed to take

Marshall downstairs to the Art Room to get

his photo taken.

Hmmm. Ok.

Mary was with us and I asked her to come along

as perhaps he would take her guidance better

than my own since that is what he is used to

at preschool.

Marshall came out of his classroom and

wanted to change his shoes.

He understands routine... he lives for routine

i have come to realize.

Both Mary and I tried to guide Marshall to "walk" with

us down the hall, but he was confused.

He wanted his outside shoes on.

Mommy's here, it's time to go home.

Marshall was getting quite upset and was yelling

in frustration.

He was adament about his backpack and he

finally came along with us without changing his shoes,

but with his backpack in tow.

He held my hand as we headed down the stairs.

Mary told me that the only time they

go downstairs is to go to Gym time (which M loves)

so this might be even more confusing for him.

It was.

We found the Art room and Marshall was not happy.

There was a line of parents and children so about

5 kids in front of us.

Marshall had to wait, which as you know by now,

is not an easy task.

I stood holding him, knelt restraining him, tried to quiet him.

I was having a hard time.

Each and every parent in front of us stood proudly

beaming at their child who was sitting

on the box, smiling away, listening to instructions

from the photographer....

Then it was Marshall's turn.

He was laying on the ground screaming as i tried to

get him to come over to the box to sit.

Mary was trying to talk to him as well.

He became interested in the camera equipment

so i had to try and get him away from touching

or picking up anything... which made him madder.

Then he ran over to the paper rolls and started

pulling at them.

There was a long line of parents and children behind us.

I felt my tears coming,

but thankfully i held them back.

I brought M back to the camera area and he refused

to sit or to cooperate at all.

Then he ran over to a large desk and crawled underneath...

Mary and i got on the ground and tried to lure him out.

He wouldn't come.

I gave up.

Mary spoke to the photographer about when re-takes

were and then told me that next time she

would try to bring him in first thing

to get him comfortable with the space first.

Re-takes are on the 18th of next month...

i have been waiting for these photos to be over

to shave M's head.

It's getting harder to wash and too shaggy to gel.

Another 3 weeks... *sigh.

Once i told Marshall we were all done and could go,

he came out from under the desk and happily

walked back up to the stairs and to his classroom

where he could change his shoes.

We got out to the van and he started screaming

again, which he has been doing for

reasons i don't understand,

whenever we get outside and walk to the car from preschool.

I usually have to carry him screaming as he tries to

break my grip.

Then i have to force his seatbelt on and he (and I) is so

worked up from screaming and crying that

he wants my hugs,

which i give him once he's buckled.

We sit there hugging...

and today, i let myself cry in my sons arms.

I'm not sure i understand why i am so emotional over this today.

I can't even type this out right now without crying.

I know Marshall will get there in time.

But today, i wanted him 'there'... now.

Why can't he just wait like all the other kids?

Why won't he stop screaming?

Why won't he just sit on the seat and look at the camera?

Why can't he understand?

Why can't he be normal?

Why???

God, why is this Your choice for me....

for Marshall...

why do You think i can do this?

I don't feel strong enough for this.

Today it feels too hard.

Giving up is not an option....

and right now i need strength that i cannot

grasp on my own.

I knew that M getting his picture taken in such a formal

way could very well be a disaster,

so it doesn't really make sense that after this morning,

i feel so overwhelmed

at the thought of being the mother of a child with ASD.

I don't have mini-meldowns often, but today, i am.

I have been told that it is natural to have

days where you mourn the loss of having a normal child...

and i have thought that that was somewhat ridiculous.

But today i get it.

Today i'm there.

And i am thankful that tomorrow is a new day.

My kids are my life and i love them

more than words can say.

I am their Mom, and i am so blessed to be.

I will do everything i can to give them the best

life possible.

God give me strength.

Potty TrainING

Marshall has had such success in regards to

potty training over the past few days i just have to talk

about it again!!

Saturday, the first day he decided that using the toilet

was for him, he peed 5 times and even did his

business once!

For a good month now, Marshall has been telling

me when he feels he has to either pee or poo.

He has not allowed for me to even take

him into the bathroom half the time, nevermind sit.

So last Saturday,

Marshall would do as he always does and would

tell me when he feels he needs to go...

but then he would actually come to sit

and he would actually go!

I have thought that Marshall has been dry through

the night for about a year already,

i tell everyone that.

But now i'm not so sure.

There are mornings where he comes into my room

completely dry, but then other days

he comes with a full fresh pee.

I have just assumed that he is only peeing in the

morning when he wakes up.

Well, both Saturday night and Sunday night,

Marshall peed in his bed.

I really didn't expect this!

So now i'm wondering if on those mornings when

he comes with a full diaper, if it is perhaps

his second pee in that diaper and that in fact,

he is actually going during the night.

I dunno.

This is all new to Marshall, going on the potty that is,

so perhaps he is peeing at night

just starting now.

He woke up each time and was quite upset about it :(

So, he will wear Pullups to bed for now.

Sunday morning Marshall reverted back to having

anxiety about peeing on the potty.

He was freaking out,

similar to what he'd been doing on Friday

when he had to go so badly, but wouldn't...

not in the potty anyways.

We had a busy Sunday with our Church Fall Kickoff

in the morning, so after he peed in his diaper

at home in the morning,

i kept him in a diaper for church.

He didn't ask to go once at church and we were there

for lunch as well.

We came home around 1:30pm

and I wanted Marshall to take a nap as we were heading

to my parents' to celebrate my Opa's birthday

that evening.

I tried to encourage Marshall to pee

before i put him to bed,

but he again was totally panicky and ended

up going in his diaper.

I was frustrated but not super upset...

M had such a great day yesterday and i knew he'd

get it back. I was hopeful it'd be sooner than later

of course.

At the birthday party, Marshall told me several times

he needed to pee, and so i took him to the potty.

He sat, he played around, he didn't pee.

He peed in his diaper :(

But then....

we came home and gave Marshall a bath.

During his bath he stood up and said, "ow"

and was grabbing by his bum.

I asked him, "poo-poos in the potty?"

He said, "potty".

He let me take him out and put him on the seat...

and he went poo!!

He was quite proud of himself :)

Then right before bed time he told me "pee" again and

so i took him and he went!!!

It was great to have a successful evening after a disappointing

day of toileting.

As i said, he did pee during the night in his bed.

Then this morning,

i was waiting to see where he was at...

and sure enough, around 9am he told me,

i took him, he peed!!

YEAH!!!!

Then again at 11am.

Then i brought him to Next Step with Miranda

and it was great to share our potty news with her!

She got super excited and gave me a high five

and Marshall got doubles :)

I told her that he'd probably have to pee as he'd been

drinking a lot beforehand.

As i was leaving i heard Marshall tell Miranda "pee".

I left and when i came back to pick him up,

i was told that Marshall had gone pee TWO times with her!

How AWESOME is that?!!!

Now i know he will go anywhere

and with anyone,

and he is in a variety of places with different people

so i could not be more thrilled that he went

at school without me :D

We've been home now for almost 2 hours and Marshall

has gone pee twice in the potty.

It is SO great.

It was great to share the news with 2 other parents

at Next Step while we waited for our kids to come out.

Parents who understand the struggle it can

be with our autistic children...

wondering if they will ever be fully potty trained,

if they will have language or even sensory

abilities to tell and to feel when they have to go.

Well, Marshall is a success story!!

He will be 100% in no time,

i am confident of this,

and i am thankful.

Updates and Reports

As seems to be the trend these days,

Marshall is doing amazing in both schools!

I feel like there has been too much positive feedback

and i am just waiting for something

to go downhill.

I'd like to think that i'm a positive person,

but i like to be realistic also!

I am just soaking in all of the good and then

when the setbacks do come, and i'm sure they will,

i can remember the awesomeness

that has been this past month and a half!

********************************

A few accomplishments for Marshall at home

that i'd like to make note of:

He will now lay down in his bath to get his hair wet!!!

(not to wash, but just get it wet - huge deal for him).

Marshall's favourite diy flipflops broke this week

so he has been wearing his sandals.

The other day he didn't want my help and he

put them on all by himself!!!!!

He even knew to pull the strap to tighten

the velcro before he put it down.

I never knew he was watching me that closely!!

Now he just wants to put them on all the time,

like right now while he's watching Shrek

in his underwear. lol.

A few days ago we were leaving my parent's house

and Marshall, for whatever reason, decided

he wanted to put on his seatbelt himself!!

He has kinda tried in the past but then i help him

complete it. That day, he got mad when i tried

to help him and he continued to try

until he did it!!!

Our little boy is growing up!

Marshall is super big on drawing on the pavement

outside with chalk lately.

He is drawing a circle,

then eyes, a smile, a nose,

always 3 legs (lol)

and a few arms as well!!!

These little figures are all over our home

on both the ground as well as on paper :)

And of course, as i just shared,

Marshall peed in the potty this morning!

So much good eh?!!

It's been really exciting watching him grow and learn.

Yesterday i got to watch him at NS

for the last part of circle time.

Marshall was dancing away and doing the actions

to all of the songs... it was adorable.

Miranda has said to me that Marshall makes her job fun.

He is always checking in to see if she's watching him

when he's accomplished something,

and he just wants to learn and pushes himself until he gets it!

Miranda also said to me the other day that

"Marshall is so smart."

Wonderful to hear... i'm sure as M continues to grow

we will see just what kind of 'smart' he really is.

Autistic children can be very smart

and very computer savey...

and with the way M moves through my

touch-screen phone,

who knows!

At home, we have been having some struggles with Marshall.

Lately he is really into pestering his sister. lol.

Typical boy right?

It's actually kinda nice to see him 'engage' with her

when he covers her picture with his hand

and then waits for the anticipated reaction. lol.

M has been pestering her a lot, as well as his 2 girl cousins

who he sees often and who are his age.

Covering a picture is one thing...

but Marshall is also yelling in their faces,

pushing and hitting, and has

even bitten his sister on 2 occaisions.

He is not normally violent.

Even in these situations, his actions are not based

on anger, he thinks it's funny...

and he laughs and laughs

when the girls get upset and whine or cry.

lol. it's terrible and yet somewhat funny at times.

He is simply looking for a dramatic reaction,

and he's getting it.

I have been focusing on teaching D as well as my nieces

about how to not react as that seems

easier than telling Marshall "no" all day long...

but is that the best solution?

Probably not.

So far i have not had any reports of this behaviour at

school... and of course, you are always meaner to

your family than anyone else. lol.

Melissa was telling me about a seminar coming up

that deals with discipline for autistic children.

That will probably be helpful for me :)

****************************************

Marshall has gone to preschool twice now and only for

an hour each day. Karen visited the classroom

on both days and wrote up a report based on

what she ....

IMPORTANT INTERUPTION.....

AHHHHHH WAHOOOO!!!

Marshall just went pee #2 in the potty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...to continue...

a report on what Karen observed :)

It is so nice to see Marshall settle into preschool.

Areas of success:

Marshall chose to participate in a variety of

activities today. He demonstrated a great attention span

for some and stayed longer at others with the

use of visuals... he seemed to like these!

Nice joint attention in tree house corner

with Mary was observed.

Talking on the phone and eating a snack.

Marshall worked for a short time at the art table,

using a couple of markers. He drew on the back

independently and it looked like a person!? WOW.

A super class! We will slowly work towards

facilitating pier play.

For now Marshall seems happy navigating

the room and interacting with Mary.

*******************************************

At Next Step, Marshall has seen Kristie

who is an OT (occupational therapist) on 2 occaisions now.

Kristie wrote up reports each time.

Here is report #1 dated Aug. 18th,

so a month ago.

Marshall has recently started the NS program

and we are working at becoming familiar

with his skills.

Shape Sorter- M recognized the circle, but for other

shapes required assistance to find the hole

to put it in.

Puzzles- M was very good at the single insert

puzzles that have the picture painted

on the bottom. He was using his eyes to identify

the shape he was looking for. He also did the single

insert with no picture on the bottom, but this

was harder for him.

Fine Motor- M appears to have right hand dominance.

He can cross midline. He will change hands

during a task. He uses a palmar pronate grasp of

the crayon.

He repeatedly draws the same face shape,

starting with the eyes, adding the mouth and nose

and drawing a circle around it.

He also draws a straight line, bottom up,

with a round circle on top.

He does no imitating.

Marshall can stack 11 blocks. He will not copy

block designs.

Behaviour- initially M was cooperative and compliant.

He worked hard for half an hour and was given

a break. After the break it was

harder for him to settle down to work.

He makes his displeasure known by yelling.

*************************************

I had to laugh at the last line

as it is all too familiar!!!

Here's the most recent report from Kristie

that i recieved this week.

Marshall is really making progress with adjusting

to the program.

Visual/spatial- M can do 6 piece puzzles and can do

9 piece with help. He did the 10 piece shape

sorter today with a bit of assistance.

This is great progress!

Self help- M is very motivated to do things for

himself. He can open his back pack,

take out his lunch bag and open the zipper.

He needs help to open the container,

and will look for help but needs prompting

to ask for help.

Toileting- has not yet begun, but M is talking

about going potty. He is probably

ready to begin.

(How cool to see progress already!!)

Gross Motor- M runs smoothly and climbs easily.

He occaisionally gets stuck and looks for

help but again needs prompting

to ask for it.

Fine Motor- M is showing good strength with

the clothes pegs.

**************************************

So there you have it!

Perhaps these reports are of no interest to you,

but they are very exciting for me

and i am happy to have constant

documentation from different people who are

a part of Marshall's journey!!

In fact, i am so used to daily reports that it feels

so strange to pickup M's sister from Kindergarten

with nothing. lol. She comes out

smiling and i get to assume she had a wonderful day!! :)

Both the kiddies are doing amazing

and i am just so blessed to be their Mom!